Mother/Grandmother dresses

09McSteph03 · January 2013

I need some help - the mom's and grandma's have been looking to me for directive on what to purchase for themselves. I didn't know I was supposed to be giving them a path and all I was saying is that I don't care, because I don't. So...after yet another email about the subject I figure I probably AM supposed to be saying something. But what?

The only things I can think of is not to match my MOH (the only attendent) and no white and no to anything that would match my dress, which isn't white.

What am I missing? Should I be offering to go shopping with them? Or pick out colors that are OK if giving the few that aren't isn't enough? Do I direct the style for them?

Thanks and happy Thursday!

EmilyTork · January 2013

Well, I'm in kind of the same boat. But I told my mom I do NOT want her to wear something matronly. My mom isn't the typical soccer-mom kind of lady; she parties harder than I do. I really want her to wear something she will have fun with (while still avoiding white/ivory and my BM color). We are just odd like that haha. I think the exact word I used was "sexy"...I told her to wear something sexy. Haha

ladymike · January 2013

Hmm. Yeah, I agree. I told all the women my wedding colors so far and I haven't heard any other concerns. But, if they seem concerned and if you are close to them, maybe go shopping with them just for fun? If it helps ease their stress about it. I might go shopping with my mom for her dress just because we never get to do things like that and it's for her daughter's wedding (it's the event of the year!!! ha ha), so I'm sure she'll want some opinion!

Stina51286 · January 2013

I went with my mom. We went through all the dresses she liked and I liked. In the end she found one we both liked that we never thought she would even try on.

Stina51286 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_mothergrandmother-dresses?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:ae10edb4-29f3-43dd-ac22-cb4ff181d1b1Post:c03b1158-c995-4c11-a30a-0689730b816b">Re: Mother/Grandmother dresses</a>:
[QUOTE]I refuse to get involved with my mom's dress shopping. She is already pissed because of my wedding dress color being ivory/champagne and wanted champagne to be her color. That was a lovely fit right inside DB. I just told her to pick out whatever dress she wanted. But mine at least lives 2 hours away the likely hood that I would have to actually go shopping with mine is slim to none. <strong>Sorry for the vent, lately I am noticing I am using any chance I get to vent about her.</strong>
Posted by snippet17[/QUOTE]

Let it out! That is what we are here for.

hardlyhannah · January 2013

My Mother-in-law keeps telling me she's going to wear beige because that's what mother-in-laws are supposed to do - I'm leaving that up to her!

But I am definitely going to go shopping with my mom, she hates shopping and often needs moral support when it is happening.

I haven't thought about the colors or anything for them though. Didn't realize I had to either.

SewInLoveWithDMB · January 2013

I went shopping with my mother - our wedding is in the morning, so there was no need for a matronly, stuffy gown that is sold in most bridal shops for "mothers." We were able to find a nice chiffon cocktail style dress in periwinkle that fit her age and body type (tall and slim). "Appropriate" is a good word to describe it - and it's really pretty and looks great on her.

My future mother in law and I have been talking about her dress - she joked with me saying she heard that "mothers of the groom wear beige and are quiet about it" but I told her she could wear any color she'd like! She showed me some ideas of dresses online she liked, and I think we both liked a light silver dress. If she chooses that, awesome. If she chooses something else, that's fine as well.

I'm having a more difficult time looking for something for my great aunt (one of the only older relatives). I'm thinking a chiffon skirt a little below the knee, and some kind of woven jacket, but it's proving to be a bit difficult. Anyone have any suggestions?

My only "rules" were to not match/clash the bridesmaids (which are aqua), not to be black and not to be like, formal gowns since it is not appropriate for the time of day.

White - I have to say, this wouldn't totally bother me. Bone, champagne, a "dark" ivory, light beige, light silver - all a-ok with me. People know who the bride is, so light colors "close" to white are fine. Would it annoy me if someone wore a white long dress that looks very similar to a wedding dress? Yes, but an informal dress in a light color is fine by me. I'm more offended by black - black to me is for funerals or what you wear if you don't approve of the couple being together (even though not everyone sees it as such).

LilyASF42 · January 2013

My MIL hasn't asked anything yet but my mom has definitely asked a few times what color she should wear and I too hasn't a clue what to tell her. I wasn't planning on dictating what she should wear.

I suppose white/ivory is out, but I think that's sort of a general rule that most know for weddings (though, not necessarily a huge faux pas like it has been in the past I think)

I don't think I'd want her in the exact color as the bridesmaid dresses but if she finds something she really likes and it happens to be that color, then I honestly won't have a coronary over it :-) I want people to be comfortable and happy

[Deleted User] · January 2013

My mom bought her dress roughly a month after we got engaged, and is constantly looking at other dresses for her. I always ask her, "Mom, do you not like the dress you already bought?" And she always says, "I love my dress" but I guess she just likes to keep looking? No idea.

As for my FMIL, I have no idea what she's planning on wearing. I think she mentioned once something about wearing grey, and if she wants to, fine. She knows that my MOH & BM are going to be wearing grey dresses. All I can do is hope my mom doesn't get PO'd because she thinks my FMIL is trying to "be part of the wedding party". Honestly, the only thing that would upset me is if they somehow managed to find a dress the EXACT same shade as mine. And they have all seen my dress, so... I'm not worried about it.

I don't think it's "your responsibility" to help them find something to wear. If they're asking for your opinion, offer to go shopping with them or send them a couple of links to dresses you think would look good on them.

libby18bell · January 2013

My M and MIL chatted and decided they were both going to wear long dresses that's all I know, ha ha. I kept telling everyone they can where whatever they want. The girls are wearing gray so they probably shouldn't wear that and I'm wearing ivory so that's a given. I keep joking with my mom that she can wear red if she wants. I guess I'm missing why the mothers would stress, but I'm the 3rd daughter and last to be getting married so my mom isn't stressing haha .

toribrite · January 2013

I don't think anyone would even try to wear white or ivory in my family, so I wasn;t worried about that. I also don't care at all what anyone wears. My grandmother came up with an idea that I liked though. My BM dresses are DB marine (sapphire) and so she wants to wear a light blue dress. FMIL asked and I told her that I didn't care, but I did tell her what my grandma is doing so she would have an idea. My mom says she is going to wear a dress, but a nice suit would probably be more comfortable for her (can't remember the last time she wore a dress... it was probably early 90s lol).

09McSteph03 · January 2013

Excellent feedback - I had no idea that saying "I dont care, wear what you want" isn't good feedback for them. I thought I was being kind and all of them think I am holding out lol

I am the last of all of us kids to get married, I am the only one having any sort of to-do. I think they are confused about what to do and where they fit in. I feel like she should shine and feel great the whole night. I emailed her back and gave her a whole lot of direction. I rambled on and on. Hope thats better than what I have been saying.

She lives a few states away so I am going to keep an eye on flights and maybe head up there one weekend to do some shopping with her.

Mother/Grandmother dresses

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