Connecticut

The sister has gone overboard...

Okay, so aside from the dress drama and the change of MOH, my sister has completely lost touch with reality on the wedding issue. She wants a custom cake (hello $$$), she can't decide between TWO caterers, so one is doing appetizers, drinks, and sweets and one is doing dinner, she is planning to go to Kleinfelds to purchase her dress, she has picked yellow and stargazer lillies for her flowers. Oh, and she has invited something like 275 people to her wedding, expecting around 200.

Now the good, money saving news is she is getting married in my father's yard, and my aunt is doing photography. Also, it is a dry wedding, so no alcohol.

Still - her budget for the ENTIRE wedding is $5,000.

No, seriously, you can stop laughing now.

How the heck does the family make her understand the cost of a wedding??? She has no concept of reality!

Re: The sister has gone overboard...

  • wrdgirlwrdgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Actually I think that's doable and a lot of brides actually pulled that off.

    She already cut costs in venue (father's yard), photography (your aunt) and no alcohol.  And these are huge chunks of a typical budget.  Catering-wise if she wants to save more she may want to go with the no-dinner one since she is expect a 200-ppl crowd.
  • edited December 2011
    That does seem like a super tight budget. The giant cost savings though is the backyard and no alcohol, so I think if a lot of it is DIY, it could be doable. You never know! I don't know the whole situation, but I'm sure once she really looks at all the prices and does out the math, it'll be more concrete.
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  • edited December 2011
    Haha, the thing is, there isn't a no dinner option. She wants to have one caterer do appetizers and sweets AND have the other one do dinner.

    I keep trying to do out the math with her because I am here and I am the one dealing with the vendors,  but  she is insisting that she can make this work. I know that the caterers alone are going to run her close to $10,000. Not to mention the dress, the flowers, the table chair and linen rentals, the planner, etc.
  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    And are your familiy drinkers?  With a backyard reception, if they are I see many people making "packie runs".
  • edited December 2011
    Does Kleinfelds even sell dresses under $1000?  Every time I watch "Say Yes to the Dress" the employees seem befuddled when someone comes in with a budget under $2K.  So even if she found a dress for $1000 that's 20% of her budget right there, without alterations or accessories.
  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    And spending that much on a dress when the entire budget is MUCH less doesn't seem to make a lot of sense.

    For example, you can spend $200 on a dress and then with the balance you can afford booze.
  • estegemanestegeman member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    HAHAHAHAHA! I am still laughing about Kleinfelds for dress shopping with a 5K budget for the wedding.  Now 5K for the dress would be doable, but NOT for the whole wedding and with 200 guests.  Thanks for making me laugh!  This is a good one!
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  • wrdgirlwrdgirl member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ahh I see what you mean.  If she wants all that then yea the budget is too tight.  I had wanted to budget a $5000 wedding but ended with about $12000 and that's also with cutting back A LOT in costs and guest number etc.  Getting married is not cheap! 

    A $5000 wedding can be done if the cake is to be made by a friend; dinner is cooked by family and friends; linens not rented; dress is $200 (sample sale?) and minor alterations needed; reuse old things (e.g. shoes, headpiece, jewelry etc); if the wedidng is held at a community center or church basement where they already have tables and chairs available and so on and so forth.  Probably not what she wants?
  • edited December 2011
    My friends did a wedding for under 5k; however, no way in hell did they have any extravegance unfortunately (love them and they had a wonderful day, but they did it for CHEAP so they could save for a house)

    Bride didn't even CONSIDER a designer Kleinfeld's dress...she got her dress on sale at The Wedding Dress in Portland, CT.  (She got lucky and they had just marked it down the day before - the dress shop vendor was so mad about that lol)

    They did backyard of a friend (her MOH)'s parent's house and rented the tent (skimped on the sides, which turned out to be a mistake since she got married in a monsoon lol), tables, chairs...

    Did paper tablecloths and plastic plates/silverware

    Friend who owns a stage production company did the DJ services for free as their wedding present.

    Friends bought the alcohol (beer and wine only) as wedding gifts to them.

    Stop & Shop did the flowers (and bride's other MOH was able to get a discount because she has worked at the florist dept. of S&S FOREVER)

    Bride had a family member who was able to officiate the wedding because she has some sort of position within a CT town.

    They didn't have professional photography - which they now regret

    I think you see where I'm going with this.  If your sister is expecting custom/designer/top-of-the-line for 5k, she is DREAMING!!!!!!
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  • edited December 2011
    haha. really gives meaning to "champagne taste on a Budweiser budget" Again it most definitely is do-able but not with her expectations. I wanted a 20k wedding and ours is about 28k. food/venue alone is 18k but my dress was 400$ so I guess it depends on were your priorities are. I think when she gets it all down on paper she will wake up and realize that she either needs to make major cut backs or widen her budget. GL to her!
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  • blipsettprblipsettpr member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I bought my dress at Kleinfelds and it was a great experience. They have dresses around $1,000 so it is do-able but probably not on her budget. I would go though just for the experience.
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  • edited December 2011
    I KNOW she's dreaming! I am not getting married for two years, so I have more than DOUBLE her budget, and less than half of the amount of guests (about 75) that she plans to have, I got a great deal on the venue because I booked ahead, my planner has found me a great florist and caterer and photographer (but I can't sign a contract for another year due to pricing - they DO have me down for my date though). I am not doing a sit down dinner, I am doing a champagne toast but no other alcohol, and I am buying a dress second hand because my budget still has no wiggle room.

    For some reason she is refusing to listen to reality. I guess when she spends the next two years paying off the wedding she will learn.
  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_sister-gone-overboard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:8595baf7-6aca-4728-9f4b-a5c2dff70a54Post:fa1a1b76-fa11-4440-a3f9-8aafd3b419e9">Re: The sister has gone overboard...</a>:
    [QUOTE]And are your familiy drinkers?  With a backyard reception, if they are I see many people making "packie runs".
    Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

    Ditto this.. my aunt still talks about a family member's "dry wedding" in which people made "packie runs" and were pouring their own drinks.
  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes your sister is bonkers! Haha.. my friend just had a backyard wedding and was originally on a $10k budget and blew right over that.. and that's without an expensive dress from Kleinfelds, her parents and brother buying all the booze as a gift, no wedding planner, and a guest list of less than 100.

    Is there any way to sit down and have a heart to heart with her to show her how this isn't possible with her vision and to show her how it could be done?
  • Vikki2payVikki2pay member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I hope you can talk some sense in to her, because with a $5000 budget and 275 people she can't even feed that many people on that budget that works out to less than $20pp so even apps are going to be more than that.

    Good Luck!!
  • edited December 2011
    My FSIL had her wedding in her dad's backyard and it cost $20K more than my wedding at Water's Edge and they had roughly 10 people more.  All the rental and catering fees add up. 
  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_sister-gone-overboard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:8595baf7-6aca-4728-9f4b-a5c2dff70a54Post:92ef1cf0-a9b2-4264-85ad-a7ee232ee8cd">Re: The sister has gone overboard...</a>:
    [QUOTE]My FSIL had her wedding in her dad's backyard and it cost $20K more than my wedding at Water's Edge and they had roughly 10 people more.  All the rental and catering fees add up. 
    Posted by nyquinn134[/QUOTE]

    Ditto this.. it all really adds up because things such as on-site catering, tables, chairs, linens, china, silverware, bartenders, liquor, etc.. all need to be rented instead of it being included. Our wedding cake was also included with our venue as well as an on-site coordinator.
  • cmmosley81cmmosley81 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think she is nuts!!!! I have a smaller budget then most but I am not looking at Klienfelds far a dress. I have a 10k budget and I am right on the mark (thank GOD). With a backyard wedding you are just looking for trouble. And with 275 ppl good luck I have 60 ppl and am spending half my budget on the venue and food. You can do a wedding for 5k it is possible. That was my original budget but then I decided to do it at a venue instead of the backyard. I went to 5 different dress shops and of all of them I love the one I got at Davids Bridal better then anything I saw at Klienfelds. You need to break down her budget for her and show her that she isnt going to be able to do it. Show her what the food is  gonna cost her exactly she will see the light hopefully
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