Wedding Reception Forum

garter toss alternatives

I've always, always, always hated the idea of a garter toss.  I'm super-conservative (read: prudish) and I'm just mortified at the idea of my new husband digging up my skirts in front of everyone I know.  I pretty much vetoed it before letting my fiance know, and he's upset--he really wants to be able to toss something.  I told him that if he didn't think it was fair, then I wouldn't toss my bouquet either, but he doesn't want that either.  How should be compromise?  Am I being too picky?  I just don't want to be uncomfortable at my own wedding reception, and from lurking the internet, I've gathered that bouquet and garter tosses aren't very "done" anymore.  Does anyone have any suggestions for garter tossing alternatives?

Re: garter toss alternatives

  • Apologies, I just realized that I posted this in the wrong spot!
  • If you don't feel comfortable doing a garter toss, then don't. It's as simple as that. You're not being picky and your FI needs to respect your wishes.  I personally think garter and bouquet tosses are horribly tacky and outdated, but to each his or her own.

    The only other alternative that I've heard of is giving your bouquet to the couple who has been married the longest that is in attendance at your reception.
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  • You can skip it... 

    Garter tosses don't have to be raunchy.  I had my garter at my knee and DH took it off with his hands, not teeth, and we didn't have "the Stripper" or anything suggestive playing. 

    He could also just have a garter in his pocket and not take it off of you and toss that. 
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  • I'm not into the "hands up the skirt" either.  We are doing the anniversary dance, and I'm giving the tossing bouquet to the longest married couple.  If your FI wants to toss something, though, just let him toss a garter that you don't wear - have it in his pocket instead.
  • I'm in a similar situation, absolutely doing flower toss, but think if single girls get shoved on floor, single guys need to too, but don't want his hands up my skirt in front of everyone (and in his family the teeth is the tradition... no way).  So we're looking for something different.  Main thing we've come up with is buttoniere.  Although all the guys will be wearing kilts, and he's wanting the full-formal one with a fly-plaid over the shoulder, so we're thinking of having him toss that instead.  After all, the bouquet toss is me throwing something of mine, why doesn't he throw something of his?  Just a thought.

  • Honestly I think a guy tossing flowers is kind of....weird.   But if he wants to toss something to his single friends, then I guess anything is better than your garter. 

    We're not doing tosses.  My sister did the anniversary dance at her wedding two years ago, and the longest-married couple was my grandparents, who would still be the longest-married couple at my wedding, so instead of doing that I think I might present my bouquet to my mom.
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  • If he wants to do it, either just hand it to him without having him take it off your leg, or like PP said have it just on your ankle/calf so he can grab it quick.  I think your compromise can be that he gets to toss something, but that he doesn't get to paw you in front of everyone.
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  • Thanks, everyone!  I think we've compromised on him throwing a garter from his pocket.
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