Pre-wedding Parties

Do we have to pay for the rehearsal dinner?

My fiance and I are paying for over half of our wedding and are still in school, so we're on a pretty tight budget. I don't know if we'll have a rehearsal or not, but either way, pretty much everyone is from out of town, so I'd like to have some sort of get-together. But if we can't afford to buy everyone dinner (even pizza sounds a little daunting - it would be close to 30 people), is it okay to just reserve a room at a restaurant everyone can afford and tell them they're on their own? I'm worried that otherwise, we might not all get a chance to get together...

Re: Do we have to pay for the rehearsal dinner?

  • banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you have a rehearsal you need a RD.

    And no, you can't tell your guests that their on their own.  That's just not nice at all. 

    What about DIY?
  • edited December 2011
    If you can't afford to pay for dinner, don't invite your oot town wedding party to a restaurant. They will assume you are hosting and things could get awkward.

    If you are not having a rehearsal, skip the dinner. Invite everyone to your place for dessert and coffee or an icecream social a little later in the evening.
                       
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_pay-rehearsal-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:57051a57-a906-49a8-9747-c0781f1a9463Post:68e198ae-5ffb-4361-b8f2-a795d4d18dac">Re: Do we have to pay for the rehearsal dinner?</a>:
    [QUOTE] What about DIY?
    Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

    I like this DIY idea. You could have cold cuts and bread out for make your own sandwiches, or if you don't mind putting things in the oven or on the BBQ, people can make their own pizza and all you need to do is heat it up until the cheese melts (pre-bake the crusts, if you put some oil on either side and throw it on a BBQ it's awesome). Bagels and lox/other toppings is a staple in my family and usually goes over pretty well. I'm a student too, the budget is waaay tight. you'll find a way, don't worry!
  • edited December 2011
    We did not invite out of town guests to our rehearsal. It's a nice gesture, but not mandatory. If you do a rehearsal with your wedding party, you do need to host some sort of dinner after (along with their spouses/significant others).

    Pizza at home can be cheap, use those coupons! What about even something like a Brown's Chicken (KFC, or something if you don't know what Brown's is!) and get a pan of mostocolli, some chicken, and bread? Again, with coupons, it won't cost you an arm and a leg.

    But anytime you are asking your wedding party to cut time out of their day to do something for your wedding (the rehearsal), you host the meal after.
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Yes, you have to pay for the rehearsal dinner.



  • LauraChristinLauraChristin member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Can you do a morning rehearsal? Hosting a brunch is likely less expensive than a dinner.
  • edited December 2011

    I guess I don't really understand the whole, "You MUST have a dinner if you have a rehearsal." thing.  It's really up to you.  My feelings are this: You should definitely have a rehearsal because a wedding could be ridiculous if people don't know what they're supposed to do.  But a dinner isn't exactly necessary if you ask me.  However, if you do have a RD, I feel it may be a bit tactless to have them pay their own way.  I like the idea of doing something different, like having some kind of BBQ or get-together at someone's house afterwards.  My fiance and I are going to have a backyard BBQ with our rehearsal dinner guests.  Although sometimes that can get expensive, too.  Good luck with whatever you decide!

  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Yes, you do need a dinner if you have the rehearsal.

    OP - I couldn't afford squat the first time I got married so I made homade spag sauce, noodles, salad, breadsticks, and cake.  Everyone came to our place and enjoyed some laid back time.  Pretty cheap and gave us an opportunity to thank them.
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