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help with my mom's MOB dress

SB1512SB1512 member
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in Moms and Maids
My wedding is in June.  My mom started shopping a bit late, so she missed the boat on ordering a dress from any sort of bridal shop.  That's sort of ok by her, since the few we went to she didn't really see anything she liked.  So, she's gone to Macy's, nordstrom, lord and taylor and a couple boutiques.  There are currently 10 MOB dresses in her closet.  10.  I understand her wanting to look her best for the day, but she seems to be really hung up on what other people will think/other people scrutinizing every last detail of her dress and how it looks. 

I mean this to come across in the least AWish way possible, but honestly, it's mine and my FI's day, I'm pretty sure that the majority of attention and eyes will be on us, and no one will have the focus of scrutinizing every detail of the MOB dress.  Is there anything I can say to her so she has an easier time making a decision?  She tried on every dress for me last night and with the exception of 1 or 2 they all look wonderful.  But she seems to find something with everyone one that she is sure the guests will notice and now she wants to go 2-3 more boutiques.  Again, this is fine, but I feel like it's going to be the day of the wedding and she's still going to have a rack of dresses that aren't "perfect" and no idea what she is going to wear and then take it out on everyone else.
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Re: help with my mom's MOB dress

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    SB1512SB1512 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_help-with-my-moms-mob-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:2b7bec31-c246-427d-b6c0-228e3ca9e547Post:3c091eff-af1a-4e96-8fc4-752e2d17ca34">Re: help with my mom's MOB dress</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm sure she'll find something.  New attire is appearing every day.  She'll find something that makes her feel beautiful.  She's still got a couple of months. Does she have an evening or cocktail dress that could be "freshened up" with new jewelry or accessories?  The dress doesn't have to be new.<strong> Nobody will outshine you or your fiance.  Mom should feel fabulous that day, too.</strong>
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    I completely agree, and I didn't want to come off as AWish, and as I said I do want her to feel fabulous.  FI and I are pretty shy, private people, so honestly not being hte center of attention is A-OK by us!  I just feel ilke the way my mom is approaching this dress thing is stressing her out because she really seems to feel like every single person is going to be paying super close attention to her and be critical of what she is wearing, and I think she is overworrying.  As much as I don't want to be the center of things, fact is I'm the bride and people are going to want to pay close attention to my dress and details, not necessarily my mom's.  That doesn't mean she shouldn't feel fabulous, but at the same time she needs to stop worrying that people will be looking for "fat rolls and bulges" (her words, not mine.  And, she's skinny as heck so she doens't even have bulges!) on her.

    Mom will not go with an old dress.  She is very easily swayed by the wedding industry.  As it is, she is upset with me for not buying new dresses for my shower and rehersal dinner!  She thinks I should't be wearing what is already in my closet, but I'm in grad school and I don't have $$ to blow on new dresses especially when I already like what I own.
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    NYCMercedesNYCMercedes member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Whether or not she's the hostess, she wants to look her absolute best. She may have been dreaming of this day since the day you were born. If it all bothers you, withdraw yourself from any discussion of the issue with her. Sounds as if you have no problem with any of the dresses, so let it go.
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    SlothGoalsSlothGoals member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    Is it possible that she's looking for some sort of direction from you? Or "approval" for lack of a better word? My mom does stuff like this until I look at all her options and let her know what I like best.
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    winelover123winelover123 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_help-with-my-moms-mob-dress?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:2b7bec31-c246-427d-b6c0-228e3ca9e547Post:3260bddd-839a-47b1-bb85-5da78177582d">Re: help with my mom's MOB dress</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is it possible that she's looking for some sort of direction from you? Or "approval" for lack of a better word? My mom does stuff like this until I look at all her options and let her know what I like best.
    Posted by kristbot[/QUOTE]

    This. It sounds like she may be looking for your opinion on them - is any one of her dresses your favorite? Maybe let her know which one you like best (she obviously likes all 10 of her dresses if she bought them!) and she might make a decision. I'd honestly just appease and indulge my mom and go shopping with her (if she invites you) and give my opinion on the dresses she likes. Then again, my mom usually buys lunch when we go shopping so I love shopping with her! :-D GL!
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    SB1512SB1512 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to Re:help with my mom's MOB dress:[QUOTE]Oh, then it sounds like she'll be overlyanxious regardless of what you say or do, especially in light of what you said about her insistence that YOU get new dresses for your shower good grief!.nbsp; I agree with what someone else said....withdraw and let her handle it.She'll keep secondguessing right up until the moment you walk down the aisle if allowed.nbsp; Smile, nod your head now and then, and say, "I'm sure you'll look great in whatever you pick, Mom."nbsp; Then change the subject. Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    It's probably this exactly. I said that to her and told her to not worry so much and she responded with "if the dress shows the back fat rolls of the mob people are going to talk." For goodness sake the woman wears a size 4 petite there are no fat rolls! I think there is clearly a body image issue coupled by the fact that she is more than just a guest at the wedding. Problem is that if I withdraw from situation she will have no one to help her choose. I have seen all the dresses, she literally looks great in all 10. She still wants to shop more so I will go, but it's going to take a lot for me to not lose my cool and tell her she needs to get out of her own head and not be so overly critical of herself
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