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RANT Mean girls!

Heather WoodHeather Wood
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in July 2012 Weddings
Some of the women on the knot are so judge mental and mean it's driving me CRAZY!!! All of the July 2012 brides are amazing but the other boards are awful. It's mostly the girls who are already married and think they know more than everyone else. I VOW that the day I get married is the last day of the knot for me...I'll move on to the nest. I just am so sick of their mean and quick to judge opinions. Any of you feel this way?


Oh and P.S.
Some of the boards like Snarky brides or wedding woes witch could be totally fun are all NWR because it's all the women who have been married forever and have three kids!
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Re: RANT Mean girls!

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    littlemoments324littlemoments324 member
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    There is a reason I stay away from the Etiquette board....Feel free to post here and the 7-11 board...the ladies are great here and over there! 

    As a MOD, that is something I will not put up with.  Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion, however, to the extent the other boards may take it.  But it doesn't always have to be puppies and rainbows...
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    ChanelShadesChanelShades
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    Hi HeatherWood! I was just thinking the same thing. I put up a post about FMIL and the women attacked FI. I just thank them for the comments and vow never to put another post up in that particular board. 

    Many of us have experienced it. Let them say their opinions. Don't fire back. Move on. Honestly, many of the married ones who ALWAYS have crass remarks are most likely UNHAPPILY married. :) Feel betterrrrr!
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    courtney1188courtney1188 member
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    ChanelShades, I actually agree with what you were told on that post. I know it was probably hard to hear, but your FMIL is being absolutely horrible to you and has threatened you in front of your fiance, and he has not stood up for you at all! So I kinda see where they were coming from.

    But I do think the board titled 'snarky brides' is kind of a giveaway that there's going to be a lot of sarcasm and not-so-niceness going on. Kinda the definition of snark.

    But I would say just stick to the boards where you feel comfortable, and lurk a bit first to get a feel for how nice the people on them are.
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    littlemoments324littlemoments324 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_rant-mean-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:217a8e47-a008-471a-82f5-ec0e8d768ba2Post:8c3af17a-5c75-4600-ba10-386097ee0a6f">Re: RANT Mean girls!</a>:
    [QUOTE]ChanelShades, I actually agree with what you were told on that post. I know it was probably hard to hear, but your FMIL is being absolutely horrible to you and has threatened you in front of your fiance, and he has not stood up for you at all! So I kinda see where they were coming from. But I do think the board titled 'snarky brides' is kind of a giveaway that there's going to be a lot of sarcasm and not-so-niceness going on. Kinda the definition of snark. But I would say just stick to the boards where you feel comfortable, and lurk a bit first to get a feel for how nice the people on them are.
    Posted by courtney1188[/QUOTE]

    I went back and read the post and actually agree with what they were saying.  Your FI is the one that needs to defend you and talk to his mother.  If he isn't going to defend you, then as time goes on, it isn't going to change.  He is being controlled by her.  I've heard this scenrio time and time again.  If FI won't defend you, then you both really need to sit down and really see if this marriage is going to work 

    It is hard to hear the comments sometimes because you know that they're right deep down and making these hard decisions is hard to hear and realize. 
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    ChanelShadesChanelShades
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    FI does defend me. People assumed that he didn't. When I said I have a FI problem it is that he is a people pleaser. He doesn't like conflict. Me on the other hand....I don't care about pleasing others. Sooo when I told him I would NEVER EVER EVER EVER go over his mom house....he didn't want to be involved in it...especially since his mom kept asking why I wasn't coming around anymore. 

    But thanks anyway for your comments. And everyone is entitled to their own opinions....so I don't have a problem hearing them at all. I just didn't want to paint him in a negative picture. He can't change how his mother was since she was a kid. As I said, all of my FSIL DHs deal with her madness too. It is her personality. Even when FI does defend me....she still is WHO SHE IS. It is frustrating, but I don't want to make it seem like FI doesn't have a backbone...he does. He just didn't want to get involved with me cutting strings with his mom forever....and I am not sure I could do it if it were the other way around. 
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    ChanelShadesChanelShades
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_rant-mean-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:217a8e47-a008-471a-82f5-ec0e8d768ba2Post:8c3af17a-5c75-4600-ba10-386097ee0a6f">Re: RANT Mean girls!</a>:
    [QUOTE]ChanelShades, I actually agree with what you were told on that post. I know it was probably hard to hear, but your FMIL is being absolutely horrible to you and has threatened you in front of your fiance, and he has not stood up for you at all! So I kinda see where they were coming from. But I do think the board titled 'snarky brides' is kind of a giveaway that there's going to be a lot of sarcasm and not-so-niceness going on. Kinda the definition of snark. But I would say just stick to the boards where you feel comfortable, and lurk a bit first to get a feel for how nice the people on them are.
    Posted by courtney1188[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>He stood up for me. But I guess I should have just said the reason that I chose to stand up for myself too is because I had been silent for so long. And as soon as she said my household will be hell... it came rippling out.....I didn't mean to paint him in such a negative manner. I guess I was focusing on my moment of 'striking back'....</div><div>
    </div><div>But thanks girlie for your words of wisdom.  I truly appreciate it. :) </div>
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    littlemoments324littlemoments324 member
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    Well I am glad he defends you...and she is just a difficult woman.  I can understand why you wouldn't want to surround yourself with such negativity.  In the end you're marrying your best friend, and yes his family too, but it will just be you and him!
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    LADY324LADY324
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    how can i search for the post and read it so I know what everyone is talking about?
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    littlemoments324littlemoments324 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_rant-mean-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:217a8e47-a008-471a-82f5-ec0e8d768ba2Post:dbf636d2-f872-4c16-87f7-7b22154afe68">Re: RANT Mean girls!</a>:
    [QUOTE]how can i search for the post and read it so I know what everyone is talking about?
    Posted by LADY324[/QUOTE]

    here ya go:

    <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_took-time-out-fmil-long" rel="nofollow">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_took-time-out-fmil-long</a>

    All you have to do is click on the persons name, it brings you to their bio, click on message boards and search for the post.  It'll take a few because you may have to really search for it depending how long ago the post was.
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    LADY324LADY324
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_rant-mean-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:217a8e47-a008-471a-82f5-ec0e8d768ba2Post:926fcd73-2b49-4cfb-9cd3-79f5c1eadb45">Re: RANT Mean girls!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: RANT Mean girls! : here ya go: <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_took-time-out-fmil-long" rel="nofollow">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_took-time-out-fmil-long</a> All you have to do is click on the persons name, it brings you to their bio, click on message boards and search for the post.  It'll take a few because you may have to really search for it depending how long ago the post was.
    Posted by littlemoments324[/QUOTE]

    Thanks!
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    littlemoments324littlemoments324 member
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    You're welcome! =)
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    LADY324LADY324
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_rant-mean-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:217a8e47-a008-471a-82f5-ec0e8d768ba2Post:b9738825-6f7e-4e6a-9f76-534eb39e9c1a">Re: RANT Mean girls!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: RANT Mean girls! : He stood up for me. But I guess I should have just said the reason that I chose to stand up for myself too is because I had been silent for so long. And as soon as she said my household will be hell... it came rippling out.....I didn't mean to paint him in such a negative manner. I guess I was focusing on my moment of 'striking back'.... But thanks girlie for your words of wisdom.  I truly appreciate it. :) 
    Posted by ChanelShades[/QUOTE]

    All I have to say is wow!!  I can't believe that your FMIL actually threatened you physically.  This is NOT ok and not something that you can just brush aside.  Once you marry your FI you are stuck with this woman for the rest of your life.  If your FI does not want to take sides then you are going to have battles through your whole marriage when you don't want to spend holidays with his mom.  I don't know how you would even want to step foot under her roof with the things that she has said to you. 
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    ChanelShadesChanelShades
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_rant-mean-girls?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:217a8e47-a008-471a-82f5-ec0e8d768ba2Post:b4b13785-c834-46c0-900d-3592b7c8083d">Re: RANT Mean girls!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: RANT Mean girls! : All I have to say is wow!!  I can't believe that your FMIL actually threatened you physically.  This is NOT ok and not something that you can just brush aside.  Once you marry your FI you are stuck with this woman for the rest of your life.  If your FI does not want to take sides then you are going to have battles through your whole marriage when you don't want to spend holidays with his mom.  I don't know how you would even want to step foot under her roof with the things that she has said to you. 
    Posted by LADY324[/QUOTE]

    <div>Lady, so so true! </div>
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    Joanne1984Joanne1984
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    HeatherWood, I am so happy you posted this. I have thought the same thing for some time now. I am amazed at how bitchy and judgmental some of these women are. I actually made a comment once about how rude they were being and I got a whole bunch of responses attacking me. I am happy that we are all so level headed. We should be empowering and supporting each other, not criticizing. 
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