Is this too much???

Re: Is this too much???

• CassieeK

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  I  personally wouldn't be annoyed b/c they are all different kinds of events/parties.  Some people may decline to come, though.  Did you throw your own engagement party? If so, you shouldn't have, and you should not throw your own showers or bach parties, either.  

  

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  An invitation is not a subpoena. The invitees are free to accept or decline.
  Since the shower is the only gift giving event, I think your okay.
  
  

                     

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• DylansBride77 member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  I agree - the dinners are fun for everyone involved and if they dont want to come or have other plans, dont be offended. 

  

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• joeandmichelle2012 member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  Thanks for the advice everyone!  We did not host our own engagement party.  I do not plan to host my own bridal shower, I just wanted to get ideas from people because my bridesmaids have started to ask what I wanted to do, but don't want to do the typical bridal shower.

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• gananoque

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  You should totally do this. And I love the idea of co-ed showers. It can be tough cause it essentially doubles the guest list which can create a burden for the hosts...
  
  But if the hosts are on board (or if there are many people collaborating) and they have the physical capacity for a large guest list, it's a lovely idea.
  
  Personally, I think it's great when the groom is just as involved in wedding stuff as the bride!
  

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• lenergyrlah member

  

  November 2011 edited December 2011

  I like the idea of co-ed bridal showers (my FI is always complaining how weddings seem to be all about the bride and not about him).  However for my friends, I doubt many of the male guests would show up if we did this (or come without gifts, which is fine although not traditional).  

  
  

  In our circle of friends, if it's someone's birthday they throw themselves a party and everyone pays for their own food and some bring gifts.  Another recently engaged couple threw themselves an engagement party (technically a dinner, just for friends and no family invited) where everyone met at a restaurant, paid their own way and I don't think anyone brought gifts.  A huge breach of etiquette, but I'm probably the only one who noticed and it's just what my crowd does.

  
  

  Either my sister or my best friend from school (who isn't in this crowd) will hopefully throw me a shower (if I have one) so at least there is as chance that it will not be a "pay your own way" breach of etiquette!

  

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• KaileenT

  

  December 2011 edited December 2011

  My FI and I recently had our engagement party, and we were the hosts. It was a tremendous success and it wasn't tacky at all. We did not want gifts, so no one brought them. We cooked our own food, supplied the drinks, and hosted the event at my parents' house, since my FI and I do not live together yet. Basically, it was a party we had at our house, where we invited only a few of our close friends that we were going to invite to the wedding, and our parents.
  
  I write this only because, IMO, there are other affordable, fun alternatives to the "emily post" ish ettiquette that requires you to do nothing while people throw parties for you. As long as you make it clear that you're not requesting people bring gifts, I see nothing wrong with organizing a casual event with friends to celebrate your own engagement.
  
  To answer the original post, I think the more your attendants become comfortable with each other, the better. I think you've got a great idea in having a "couples" bridal shower. Great thinking!

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• banana468 member

  

  December 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_this-much?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:332b64f1-6187-4d74-b719-a6e85cb58ca6Post:264bcf12-c1fe-4459-a73c-2eb33cf715c5">Re: Is this too much???</a>:
  [QUOTE]My FI and I recently had our engagement party, and we were the hosts. It was a tremendous success and it wasn't tacky at all. We did not want gifts, so no one brought them. We cooked our own food, supplied the drinks, and hosted the event at my parents' house, since my FI and I do not live together yet. Basically, it was a party we had at our house, where we invited only a few of our close friends that we were going to invite to the wedding, and our parents. I write this only because, IMO, there are other affordable, fun alternatives to the "emily post" ish ettiquette that requires you to do nothing while people throw parties for you. As long as you make it clear that you're not requesting people bring gifts, I see nothing wrong with organizing a casual event with friends to celebrate your own engagement. To answer the original post, I think the more your attendants become comfortable with each other, the better. I think you've got a great idea in having a "couples" bridal shower. Great thinking!
  Posted by KaileenT[/QUOTE]
  
  It's not about the gifts.  You just shouldn't throw any party in your own honor.
  
  BUT, don't let that discourage you from throwing a party. 

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