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Etiquette

Follow Up to Ugh. MIL. Vent.

About two weeks ago I created a post involving MIL's temper tantrum when she found out that BIL and SIL might want to spend some time with just DH and me.  (GASP!)

Here's a link to the original:

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ugh-mil-vent

Things were ultimately smoothed over.  She realized that there was no changing of the plans and DH and I loaned BIL and SIL one of our cars so there would be no way that MIL would be able to say, "Oh you can't leave because you didn't rent a car and you can't borrow mine."

And of course, that was not without incident either:

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_nwr-good-deed-goes-unpunished

BIL and SIL came and left.  The visit with them was wonderful and MIL appeared to behave herself for the most part.   Of course there were a few insults here and there at my husband's intelligence (mentioned his college GPA over Thanksgiving dessert!) and she grated on the nerves with her standard comments cutting people down but there were no temper tantrums once BIL and SIL were in town.

I know at some point the behavior needs to be addressed by DH and BIL but for now, we'll just deal with things as they come.    The hardest part for me as a wife is to bite my tongue when she makes these comments in front of DH or when I find out she's manipulated us and lied to us.  We'll still handle things on a case by case basis though.

And of course, let's see what happens come Christmas!

Thanks for all the words of encouragement in the previous post.    I don't know that there's any true solution but it did feel great to be on the same page with BIL and SIL so we know we're not alone.

Re: Follow Up to Ugh. MIL. Vent.

  • Oh boy. Well I am really glad it all 'sort of' worked out. At least you didn't have to contemplate stabbing your eyes out with a meat thermometer. Good lord she is just priceless. You have to learn to let the jabs at her own husband roll off you back though. I remember one time MIL and her bf were commenting back and forth to each other on how they would leave each other if the other one got fat. It was disgusting.

    I didn't have to see mine. Be jealous :)
  • I owe SIL a HUGE hug for saying to MIL  (after we left for the night and after MIL told her that DH had a "bad" GPA), "MIL, that's inappropriate."

    It was short and simple and got the point across that none of us are interested in her attempts to insult one child to the other.
  • Banana, that stinks.  However, you are probably the best equipped of all of us on here to handle it with grace.  Kudos to you for that.  And, just know that karma will, at some point, torment your MIL.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • I'm glad you made it!  Hopefully things only improve for coming holidays!
  • Aww thanks Squirrly!

    I try to learn by the advice I've been given...and having a mom who has dealt with a few things has helped me too.  :-)
  • Banana - did your SN change?
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • I swear, it said you were "FutureMrsSomebody" a second ago.  Had all the other info right, though.  Weird.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
  • Hmm.  I'm not the future Mrs.

    I've always been Banana!

    Still don't know what happened to about 15,000 posts but other than that I'm the same.  :-)
  • It has to do with post age.  If they were past the archived point, they were lost.
    my read shelf:
    Amber Lea's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) image Tell Me A Tale
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