Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

I didn't know I was Pregnant.....Baby Shower for 1 Year Birthday?

Okay, so this question is probably better suited for TB, but I like it over here better.  I haven't posted much about it, but about 5 months ago I gave birth to a gorgeous little girl.  

I was actually really shocked about the pregnancy.  I could have been one of those "I didn't know I was pregnant" people because I literally found out when I went to the doctor at about 7 months with what I thought was just indigestion and a huge food-baby, and it turned out I was in labor!  (I know this makes me sound crazy, but I have had irregular cycles for years.....and honestly I just thought I was getting fat). 

Well, FF to now and DD is gorgeous. I am so happy to be blessed with such a cutie. The thing is though, I just feel really bad because she had an emergency birth and was premature and because of the fact that she was a huge surprise we never got to have a shower to celebrate her coming into the world and get all the cute photos and stuff that all my friends on PInterest and FB have for their bundles of joy.  

Don't get me wrong, now that DD is 5 months old we've got most of the "baby gear" covered and this isn't about getting gifts or anything. I just think that it sucks that I missed out on the "being pregnant" experience that everyone else got to have because I was totally in the dark about it! 

Would it be completely out of line to have a baby shower for DD for her 1 year birthday?  It would just be a great opportunity to get all the friends and family together to celebrate the baby and welcome her into the world.    And, while gifts would TOTALLY be optional, is it tacky to register?  I just feel like it's not DD's fault that she was born premature and we didn't know about the pregnancy...

Ahhh! Please help!

Re: I didn't know I was Pregnant.....Baby Shower for 1 Year Birthday?

  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited November 2012
    NOLA I had no idea you had a baby. Congrats!

    As for the shower I'm sorry I'd side eye it. I know it's no fault of your own but the baby shower ship has sailed much like the wedding ship has sailed to those that choose to get married by a JOP.  Remember the advice we always give around here- showers are a gift not a right. They should be thrown for you not by you.  Someone could have thrown you a baby shower soon after the baby's birth.

    If you want to have a get together throw a huge 1st birthday for DD.  I know places like Toys R Us actually make birthday registries so you can fill out one of those but please don't call it a baby shower.
     
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  • Congratulations on the birth of your daughter.

    Baby showers are not thrown by the parents, so that would be out of line. Why couldn't you just have a great 1st birthday party for your DD? You could invite whoever you would have wanted at your shower. Take lots of pictures for her baby album.

    It's not typical in my social circle to have gift registries for birthday parties. If you decide to do it, don't include the registry information on the invitation.





                       
  • Congrats on the birth of your daughter!   

    I would let that stuff go.  You did have the experience of being pregnant - whatever it was, THAT was your experience.    That ship has sailed.  Give your daughter a first birthday and move on.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • NOLA, congrats on your baby!  I'm so glad that everything turned out okay and you now have a healthy little girl:-)

    I agree about the shower.  Heck, my family already knows that I am pregnant, but I highly doubt that I will get a baby shower considering that I live on another continent from my family and won't be going back home before the birth (and baby showers aren't common here).   Like you know, showers are a gift and not right.  

    I think a kick-ass first birthday party would be awesome:-)  You can put together a small Amazon wish-list if you want (don't advertise, but you can tell people if they ask) for things for the baby, like toys she might like or whatever.   I'd stay away from "parent" stuff like baby monitors, but it sounds like you already have all of that covered anyway.
    DSC_9275
  • I agree with PPs.  Just make it a huge 1st birthday.  
  • Congratulations on your baby!

    But yes, it's too late for a baby shower, and in any case, someone else would have to throw it for you. 

    A first birthday party would be in order, but yes, it's tacky to register for gifts for that.
  • Congrats Nola!!!  Don't worry - I know someone else this happened to.  She was full term and went to the hospital thinking she had kidney stones.  A few hours later, she had a healthy baby girl.  Her and her boyfriend were SHOCKED!

    I will echo all the previous posters, however.  A baby shower is about welcoming a woman into motherhood by getting together, helping her pull everything together for the baby and just generally being there for her.  That ship has sailed for you.  I'm sorry you feel like you missed something, but you didn't.  You have a beautiful baby girl and that is all that matters.  It's the similar to a PPD vs a courthouse wedding.  The point is the marriage/baby, not how you got there. 

    Throw her an awesome one year old birthday party.  Make it as big as you want.  Don't register and don't make it about you - make it all about her!

    And, I wouldn't recommend asking this on The Bump.  I post on the Baby Shower board - you will get flamed to high heaven for this.
  • I agree with the ladies.  I just wanted to say Congrats!  I had no idea you had a baby.  
  • Congrats!  I agree - no baby shower, just a wonderful 1st birthday to celebrate her.
    Anniversary
  • edited November 2012
    I feel like this was an epic sarcasm fail, but I actually have not had a kid...I was trying to make a point about PPDs a year after the wedding. I'm sorry for sucking in that regard, but wow, everyone was REALLY nice about what I thought was a radically rude idea (shower after a kid is born). I guess I haven't been regularly posting enough recently . New girls: this post is PROOF that people are not "mean" or "rude" on this board!!!
  • Even though it's moot, can I still just vote for a big party?
  • No baby? No birthday cake? You've ruined my day.


                       
  • Hmmm, I thought this was a little odd.  
  • As a mother to a baby girl that was a preemie. I find it rather insulting to lie about such a thing to begin with.  I pray that you never have to experience that. 
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-didnt-know-i-was-pregnantbaby-shower-for-1-year-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:2f0c477d-fc58-4774-8ec9-85021bfcbcbdPost:42506720-a647-47f0-bbf6-ce780a939c59">Re: I didn't know I was Pregnant.....Baby Shower for 1 Year Birthday?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>As a mother to a baby girl that was a preemie. I find it rather insulting to lie about such a thing to begin with.  I pray that you never have to experience that. </strong>
    Posted by melissanjoe21[/QUOTE]

    <div>Are you kidding? This has nothing to do with your expirience. I hope your child is healthy and happy, but come on, way to turn it around on yourself. You sound like a mother on the STFU parents blog. </div>
  • edited November 2012
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-didnt-know-i-was-pregnantbaby-shower-for-1-year-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:2f0c477d-fc58-4774-8ec9-85021bfcbcbdPost:186c25fc-7457-49b5-afdc-2c0317abfdd1">Re:I didn't know I was Pregnant.....Baby Shower for 1 Year Birthday?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I feel like this was an epic sarcasm fail, but I actually have not had a kid...I was trying to make a point about PPDs a year after the wedding. I'm sorry for sucking in that regard, but wow, <strong>everyone was REALLY nice about what I thought was a radically rude idea</strong> (shower after a kid is born). I guess I haven't been regularly posting enough recently . <strong>New girls: this post is PROOF that people are not "mean" or "rude" on this board!!!
    </strong>Posted by NOLAbridealmost[/QUOTE]

    Sorry NOLA but if this was your point, you should have created an AE and then posted this on CC and E.  We know you and were willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.  I highly doubt these would have been the responses if somebody new came here to post this.</div>
    Proud to be an old married hag!! image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-didnt-know-i-was-pregnantbaby-shower-for-1-year-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:2f0c477d-fc58-4774-8ec9-85021bfcbcbdPost:32b8ace4-08a2-4ad5-9073-8d2d18f5fc99">Re:I didn't know I was Pregnant.....Baby Shower for 1 Year Birthday?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re:I didn't know I was Pregnant.....Baby Shower for 1 Year Birthday? : Sorry NOLA but if this was your point, you should have created an AE and then posted this on CC and E.  We know you and were willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.  I highly doubt these would have been the responses if somebody new came here to post this.
    Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

    I have to agree. Since I know you I gave you the benefit of the doubt.
     
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  • I completely agree and stand corrected about the fact that if I had been a newb on a more active board this would have been different.  I honestly wasn't expecting the responses I got....I really figured that most regs would have known I was kidding and trying to make a point about PPDs (that was the sarcasm fail....I clearly, clearly don't post often enough these days) and I thought that even some of the newer girls considering a PPD would have noticed how ridiculous my suggestion was and possibly seen how silly PPDs are.

    It was a failed attempt all around though.  Humor fail. Sarcasm fail. Credibility fail. =( 
  • I am curious what if the baby showers and everything are already planned then the baby comes early
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_i-didnt-know-i-was-pregnantbaby-shower-for-1-year-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:2f0c477d-fc58-4774-8ec9-85021bfcbcbdPost:14551199-e55e-4639-90a0-88370a1894dd">Re:I didn't know I was Pregnant.....Baby Shower for 1 Year Birthday?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am curious what if the baby showers and everything are already planned then the baby comes early
    Posted by bripratt2[/QUOTE]

    That happened to me. My SIL planned a surprise baby shower a week before my due date. My daughter was born the day before the shower. The party went on as planned. My husband went to the shower, in my place, opened the gifts and visited with the guests. Judging from the pictures, it looked like everyone had a great time.
                       
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