not sure what to expect

Re: not sure what to expect

• mica178 member

  

  October 2010 edited December 2011

  Wedding ceremonies can be done outside of Mass.  In these ceremonies, there is no communion, just the readings, homily and vows.  Many couples and priests prefer that "mixed marriages" are done outside of Mass, since communion is supposed to be unifying, and the symbolism of only one member of the wedding couple taking communion is, well, non-united.
  
  Talk with your FI about what he wants, and then talk with your priest about your combined hopes and expectations.  Don't worry, and congratulations!
  

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• rcj2rcd

  

  October 2010 edited December 2011

  Hi! Congratulations on your wedding!

  I wouldn't worry. You can have a ceremony outside of Mass. Actually, most weddings I've been to recently have been ceremonies like this - its like the normal non-denom ceremony you're used to. There won't be communion, though.
  
  I converted to Catholicism, but was raised in a Non-Denominational church. Most of my family and friends are not Catholic. I was a little worried because we are having a full Catholic Mass and I didn't want anyone to feel like they didn't belong - but I have found that the Catholic community is really understanding and welcoming. I agree with PP - talk with your families and talk with the priest - you'll feel better afterwards
  
  There is a lot of info on the web (and on this board) about ceremonies outside of Mass. I'm not sure about your family but mine was a little confused by the specifics of Catholic ceremonies (words like liturgy, homily, etc are a little foreign to them). I found that using a Catholic-based wedding program has helped. There are some good examples on the web and the girls on this board are super helpful.
  
  Good luck!

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  October 2010 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_not-sure-expect?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:7ed57b69-3941-4ccd-9765-36c3f56daa41Post:05944897-99bc-4a1a-9560-5ee73620a4e2">Re: not sure what to expect</a>:
  [QUOTE]Wedding ceremonies can be done outside of Mass.  In these ceremonies, there is no communion, just the readings, homily and vows.  Many couples and priests prefer that "mixed marriages" are done outside of Mass, since communion is supposed to be unifying, and the symbolism of only one member of the wedding couple taking communion is, well, non-united. Talk with your FI about what he wants, and then talk with your priest about your combined hopes and expectations.  Don't worry, and congratulations!
  Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]
  
  Ditto this. My H and I were both full Catholic, so we had a full Mass. It was something we always wanted and were so happy that we did. This is not to say that a full mass cannot take place between a Catholic and non-Catholic, it is just not normally recommended.
  
  The best thing to do is talk to your Fi as well as your priest, think about it, pray about it, and go from there. Good luck with the rest of your planning.

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• bibliophile2010 member

  

  October 2010 edited December 2011

  Ditto MissySue's ditto of Mica.
  
  You should also try going to mass with your FI some Sundays. That would help you get a feel for the service, even if you choose to have the ceremony outside of mass. The ceremony outside of mass, btw, is like the first half of mass: the readings and the homily, followed by the rite of marriage: vows and prayers.
  
  Also, does your FI want a Catholic wedding for himself or for his family? Does he practice his faith? I think families are important, but a couple really should not get married in the Church unless at least one party is committed to his/her faith (to some degree) and both parties have discussed and determined the role that religion is going to play in their wedding, their marriage, and in the rearing of their future children.

  

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• sandragermany member

  

  October 2010 edited December 2011

  I'm in the same spot.
  I'm Lutheran (but not really practicing) and my FI is Catholic. I haven't been to a Catholic wedding yet, but I went with him to mass on a couple of occasions. There will be no communion at our wedding (as said before, this is usually not done at interfaith weddings).
  Even better: almost nobody in my family speaks English and none of them are Catholic. So it will be interesting for them.
  But I am not worried. We will try to have one of the bridesmaids to a reading in German (also on of the bridesmaids is Hindu, the other also lutheran and the third my FI sister that doesn't speak German). We will do a bilangual programm for the ceremony that will include some explanations about the Catholic service. Maybe you can do the same for your family, so they know what to expect during the service.
  
  In all, don't worry. Talk to your FI about your Concerns and when you both talk to the priest he will be able to explain a lot to you.

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