Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Sister not bringing kids

blueeyes62785blueeyes62785
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I had intended for my nephew to be my ring bearer. My sister just informed me that it is too expensive to fly with kids and too long of a drive. She is in N. Carolina and I am in Kansas City. Was it wrong for me to expect her to bring the kids? I get to see my family once a year and the wedding is still a year to a year and a half away. I know I have time to get someone else but I was just so shocked. Anyone else had to deal with this?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Sister not bringing kids

  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment Combo Breaker
    well this is different.
    Report Reply
  • ohwhynotohwhynot member
    First Comment
    1.  You could offer to pay for his plane ticket, I suppose, but perhaps your sister really wants the weekend child-free. 


    2.  Yes, imo you are being unreasonable.  It IS expensive to fly and if your sister doesn't want to spend the $$ to fly her child out for this event, that's her choice.   See also: point number 1.


    3.  For goodness' sake, do NOT replace him!  Just don't have a ring bearer. 
    Report Reply
  • ehathewaehathewa
    First Comment
    I have have felt some dissapointment when family members RSVP'd no to the wedding.  But you can't expect them to either pay for plane tickets or to lug a few kids half way across the country.  It sounds like they plan on coming, which is great and you should be happy for that.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • noodle_oonoodle_oo member
    First Comment
    I'm a bit surprised she's not bringing the kids (I would have assumed that too) but it is her choice, so I would just let it go.  Unless you have another child you are close to, just forget the ring bearer.  You don't need it, no one will notice.
    wedding planning guide
    Report Reply
  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sister-not-bringing-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:661c30ad-337b-4808-8e97-83e4874f301bPost:ebc3cc42-dfdf-4593-ac56-9f720838c313">Re: Sister not bringing kids</a>:
    [QUOTE]well this is different.
    Posted by daffodil_jill[/QUOTE]

    Indeed.  I'm almost confused.

    Report Reply
  • AllAboutTheBenjaminAllAboutTheBenjamin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    Yeah, I agree with OWN.  You can offer to pay if you really, really want him there but maybe she just doesn't want to bring him.  Oh well.

    I actually am dealing with the opposite.  My aunt is traveling from California and my mother told her that she can't come if she's bringing her son (my cousin), who is five.  Nice huh.
    panther
    Report Reply
  • blueeyes62785blueeyes62785
    First Comment
    It just surprised me. I just never imagined not having him there. I am not trying to be overly dramatic but it was kind of a shocker. She had a wedding in Florida and my other sister never blinked an eye and was there with her kids.  And yes it is her decision. If I had the money I would offer to buy the tickets but considering we are paying for this ourselves...It is out of the question. I am just trying to wrap my mind around it. Sounds like the general consensus is I am out of touch with reality.
    Report Reply
  • Belle2BeBelle2Be member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sister-not-bringing-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:661c30ad-337b-4808-8e97-83e4874f301bPost:b7e32edf-a3e2-414a-b7cf-6a811674bc8c">Sister not bringing kids</a>:
    [QUOTE]I had intended for my nephew to be my ring bearer. My sister just informed me that it is too expensive to fly with kids and too long of a drive. She is in N. Carolina and I am in Kansas City. Was it wrong for me to expect her to bring the kids? I get to see my family once a year and the wedding is still a year to a year and a half away. I know I have time to get someone else but I was just so shocked. Anyone else had to deal with this?
    Posted by blueeyes62785[/QUOTE]


    If you want to see your family, you should fly out to see them :) No one says that a wedding has to be the reunion for your family.  And if it's so important for him to be in your wedding, then you should be footing the bill, flights and hotel.
    Report Reply
  • brookelynpaisleybrookelynpaisley member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    I don't know how to answer this. It's like the universe was flipped inside out and girls have penises.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Infertile, living childfree, advocating like a BOSS
    Report Reply
  • squirrlysquirrly member
    Name Dropper First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    If it's really important to you, talk with your sister and find out how much the plane tickets are.  Perhaps you could contribute a couple hundred $$$ and make it feasible, but also consider that having special RB attire would add to the cost, so if he can be in it, maybe let him wear whatever dressy outfit he already has.
    DIY & Planning | Married 

    Married: 2010
    Mom to J: 2011
    Mom to H: 2014

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic



    Dresses may be easier to take in than let out, but guest lists are not. -- kate51485
    Report Reply
  • notquiteblushingnotquiteblushing member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    This happened to me with my SIL.  About a year out I asked her if her kids would be in the wedding - 2.5 year old FG and 6 year old RB.  That was all well and fine but a few months later - still about 9 months until the wedding when she realizes that she can't use her parents' free time share points to book a hotel room she tells me they are only bringing one kid (the RB).  I was pissed to be honest because this was her brother's wedding and wasn't deemed important enough to bring her whole family.  She later almost dropped out because I wouldn't pay for her son's tux.  She sounds like such a peach, doesn't she?

    Anyhoo, I'm in the Get Over It camp just so you can keep the peace and avoid the drama I had to face.  Good luck!
    TTC since 07/11 Me: 32 AO PCOS/DH: 32 Lowish count/motility IUI#1-3 = BFN (Clomid, Clomid-->Femara, Injects) IVF#1 ER on 9/24 19 ER/19 M/9 F w/ICSI Transferred a 5AA and a 5BB on 9/29 Beta 10/9 = 139 Beta 10/11 = 287
    imageimageAlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

    My Blog

    Report Reply
  • Belle2BeBelle2Be member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sister-not-bringing-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:661c30ad-337b-4808-8e97-83e4874f301bPost:f4bb653e-76ab-4cb7-848d-5fe33a5875fb">Re: Sister not bringing kids</a>:
    [QUOTE]This happened to me with my SIL.  About a year out I asked her if her kids would be in the wedding - 2.5 year old FG and 6 year old RB.  That was all well and fine but a few months later - still about 9 months until the wedding when she realizes that she can't use her parents' free time share points to book a hotel room she tells me they are only bringing one kid (the RB).  I was pissed to be honest because this was her brother's wedding and wasn't deemed important enough to bring her whole family.  She later almost dropped out because I wouldn't pay for her son's tux.  She sounds like such a peach, doesn't she? Anyhoo, I'm in the Get Over It camp just so you can keep the peace and avoid the drama I had to face.  Good luck!
    Posted by notquiteblushing[/QUOTE]

    TBH she's not the one that sounds like a "peach"...
    Report Reply
  • notquiteblushingnotquiteblushing member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sister-not-bringing-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:661c30ad-337b-4808-8e97-83e4874f301bPost:94e1e76a-cf38-43a7-a00f-69542cc0765f">Re: Sister not bringing kids</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Sister not bringing kids : TBH she's not the one that sounds like a "peach"...
    Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]

    Care to explain what you mean by that?
    TTC since 07/11 Me: 32 AO PCOS/DH: 32 Lowish count/motility IUI#1-3 = BFN (Clomid, Clomid-->Femara, Injects) IVF#1 ER on 9/24 19 ER/19 M/9 F w/ICSI Transferred a 5AA and a 5BB on 9/29 Beta 10/9 = 139 Beta 10/11 = 287
    imageimageAlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

    My Blog

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards