Just Engaged and Proposals

Newly engaged and Bridal Party help/guidance

Hello ladies,

I am newly engaged, it's been 2 months, and I am still on Cloud 9!  We have been together for almost 5 years. 

I need some help ladies!   We have already set a date-- 6/14/2014.  It seems so far away but I keep reminding myself that 2012 is over in 2 months and it will be here before I know it!

I have not yet gone to try on wedding dresses but I wanted to do that and have my bridal party try on bridesmaids dresses at the same time--- which was just a thought.  I am stuck on who I want to be in my bridal party!

My fiance has a total of 4 maybe 6 poeple that would be on his side (2 brothers, 2 friends and 2 of his nephews)  I, on the other hand, have a bigger family!  I have 2 sisters, a sister in law, 5 nieces and nephew. 

My thinking was to have 4 of my nieces as my bridesmaids (we are all very close), my nephew as my ring bearer and my youngest niece as my flower girl.  2 of the other girls I would want are friends on my fiances' side ( 1 of his brothers girlfriend and 1of his friends' wife).  I am stuck on who I want as my MOH. 

I really didnt want to have my sisters and SIL- not only would it be a huge bridal party- but my older sister didn't talk to me for almost 2 years (partly because she doesnt like my FI as he is friends with her ex) and there's a huge family feud going on with my sisters, brother & SIL ( my older sister, bro & SIL are not speaking to my other sister). His best man is his older brother----  My one best friend lives up in the PA Lehigh Valley and we dont really talk that often now but we've been friends ever since we were in elementary school.  My other best friend is a girl that I have worked with the last 2 years but I really feel her and I were sisters in a past life---- its scary how much her and I have in common. 

I just dont know what to do---- I have talked to my fiance about it but he has no clue, love him and all but he was no help, lol.

Any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you everyone!

Re: Newly engaged and Bridal Party help/guidance

  • I think you have a year or so to continue enjoying your engagement before you even start thinking about your wedding party. 

    As for dresses, remember that they change season to season and what's "in" now could very well be dated when you are closer to your wedding date.  I would think it would be easier to try on wedding dresses separate from bridesmaid dresses, but that's just me.  In any event, i'd give it time. . . . at least a year.  If you want to start looking online for dress ideas, terrific, but don't worry about trying them on yet.  Not to mention, if your nieces, etc are younger, they could very well be a different size by the time you should be looking at dresses.

    Enjoy your engagement, don't stress!!!!!
  • Whatever you do, DON'T ask anyone to be in your bridal party for 10-12 months. There's no reason to ask any sooner, and it could just cause problems.
    In my personal experience being in weddings, smaller wedding parties are just so much more fun. When I was in a wedding with 8 bridesmaids, it felt so disconnected, and I barely got to talk to the bride while we were getting ready. When I was in a BP of 4, we got to experience the whole thing together, and I really got to know the other girls who were so important to my friend.
    So I only decided to do 4. It sounds a little different, since you're dealing with all family members, but it's just SO much less stressful the smaller your party is.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_just-engaged-proposals_newly-engaged-and-bridal-party-helpguidance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:683Discussion:e9c06541-adc5-4d22-bce9-f54ce2977aebPost:6609e5b5-cbe6-4a65-9882-648febbf5204">Newly engaged and Bridal Party help/guidance</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello ladies, I am newly engaged, it's been 2 months, and I am still on Cloud 9!  We have been together for almost 5 years.  I need some help ladies!   We have already set a date-- 6/14/2014.  It seems so far away but I keep reminding myself that 2012 is over in 2 months and it will be here before I know it! I have not yet gone to try on wedding dresses but I wanted to do that and have my bridal party try on bridesmaids dresses at the same time--- which was just a thought.  I am stuck on who I want to be in my bridal party! My fiance has a total of 4 maybe 6 poeple that would be on his side (2 brothers, 2 friends and 2 of his nephews)  I, on the other hand, have a bigger family!  I have 2 sisters, a sister in law, 5 nieces and nephew.  My thinking was to have 4 of my nieces as my bridesmaids (we are all very close), my nephew as my ring bearer and my youngest niece as my flower girl.  2 of the other girls I would want are friends on my fiances' side ( 1 of his brothers girlfriend and 1of his friends' wife).  I am stuck on who I want as my MOH.  I really didnt want to have my sisters and SIL- not only would it be a huge bridal party- but my older sister didn't talk to me for almost 2 years (partly because she doesnt like my FI as he is friends with her ex) and there's a huge family feud going on with my sisters, brother & SIL ( my older sister, bro & SIL are not speaking to my other sister). His best man is his older brother----  My one best friend lives up in the PA Lehigh Valley and we dont really talk that often now but we've been friends ever since we were in elementary school.  My other best friend is a girl that I have worked with the last 2 years but I really feel her and I were sisters in a past life---- its scary how much her and I have in common.  I just dont know what to do---- I have talked to my fiance about it but he has no clue, love him and all but he was no help, lol. Any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thank you everyone!
    Posted by jennifer_024[/QUOTE]


    my suggestion would be to wait to ask your bridal party AND go dress shopping... 
    lots of things can change between now and 2014...

    As you read the boards you will see a lot of stories of woman who asked their bridal over a year in advance and then just over time things fell apart and then you are faced with having a virtual stranger in the wedding....

    I waited until I hit my year mark ( and a little later but not much ) to ask my wedding party. I didnt ask anyone until almost 6 months after getting engaged,  

    Dress shopping - the only thing you may run into is if you don't purchase when you find the dress - you may not be able to get the dress 2 years from now - so you will fall in love with a dress and then have to find something else later OR have to store it for 2 years
    Wedding Countdown Ticker ~~December Sept. 2013 Siggy Challenge~~ Now & Then Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I was in the same boat as you, together for 5 years, engaged Dec 2011 and set a wedding date for May 2013. Long engagement. First thing of advise for you is it goes by so fast!!! I cant belive its been 10 months and there is only 7 months left till the big day. However with that said, is I would wait till it gets closer to ask anyone. I asked everyone right away, and though I am happy with everyone I asked. I wish I would have waited alittle bit. And the only reason I say that is I wish I would have had my matron of honor as a bridesmaid and my lil sister as my maid of honor. Oh well its working out for the best. And i would suggest doing the two dresses (bridesmaid and wedding dress) seperate. Thats just my opinion. I had a blast taking my girls who were local and able to go dress hunting. I literally sat back and they showed me what they like., The girls made it like a fashion show, it was so laid back and fun. I just went to do my dress with only my mom and my sister. Kinda like a special moment type thingy for my mom. But again just my preference. Good luck!
  • In addition to waiting a little bit, I would also try to keep your maids to people within a few years of your age. I don't know how old your neices are, but think of things like what kind of bachelorette party you want, and if someone much younger than you would feel comfortable to party with. Even if you don't do anything super risqué, you will need women that you feel totally comfortable with.

    Getting married is a transformation and a rite of passage, no matter how old you are. You never know what emotions or problems will come up, and you'll need women you can vent to and who can give you solid support and advice. People who understand your personal history and your relationship with your fiancé and genuinely share your joy are a must if you want to keep your sanity.
    "I wish yo azz all tha dopest up in yo' marriages"
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