Is it REALLY that crazy???

LindzMarie19 · February 2012

I really like this board because i can totally relate to most of the post about school and hating it/ loving it! lol

sooo here is my situation.

My FI graduated one year ago from collect and got a pretty good job. I'm a junior in nursing school. We went back and forth for a while trying to decide wheither or not to get married before or after i graduated. We finally decided to get married this june one year beforei graduated.

My parents were pretty upset. My mom acted like it was the end of the world and like she was dying slowly on the inside ( this is NOT exaggerated ). My whole life i have always done good in school all A's and B's. I don't party, i study and do work. I have one more year left....it's like they have so little faith in me.. even though i have made it thus far.

I dunno, i don't see the big deal. I'm still gonna graduate on time. Its not like i'm taking off to get married. I love my parents, but i think they are acting rediculas.

what do yall think... anyone in a similar situation?

FaithCaitlin · February 2012

I'm getting married 2 weeks after my graduation. And it's just to keep my parents calm and quiet.

Do what's best for you but remember that a few more months of waiting might just be worth the support of your family (at least you won't have to hear about it, lol!).

misssunshine17 · February 2012

FI and I got engaged Christmas of our junior years and I graduate this May and he graduated May 2013. We won't be getting married until at least October 2013, but that's what works for us. Between finances and the stress, I can't imagine doing it right after/during school.

My best friend got married right after she graduated and she said she wouldn't do it again. She obviously happy she's married, but she was so busy with school and planning her wedding (tons of DIY) that a lot of stuff fell through the cracks.

It's all depending on works for you and your FI.

snuff9861 · February 2012

I feel your pain!

We got engaged last May, right after I decided to go back to school for nursing. It's my second degree so I'm not getting any younger haha. My parents said wait til you're done school blah blah blah. Three weeks ago we told them we're getting married in October. They flipped out and made a huge deal about it. But we went ahead and starting booking stuff. They've come around. At the end of the day they're your parents and they want you to be happy. If you're ready to get married then go for it...which is what my mom just told me today.

HopefulLife · February 2012

We had thought about getting married this year but it didn't work of us since we're both in school (in different cities), so we're waiting until I'm finish - which was my motivation to finish early.

My parents are still unhappy because we're not waiting for him to finish, but this is our choice. They'll come around and so will yours. Happy planning and good grades!

cshoaf1 · February 2012

We will be getting married two weeks after I graduate from pharmcy school. For us, it was easier and less stress to wait until after I graduate. I don't work while I'm in school (I'd get too stressed out) and I didn't want to put the full financial responsibility on FI (he has graduated and has a full time job).

My next couple of months are going to be super busy with graduating, getting married, and starting a new job. But I didn't want to wait any longer after I graduated to get married. It will be a couple crazy months coming up, but I can't wait!

Bay21 · February 2012

I was engaged as a freshman and only this year (my sophomore year) told our families. Their main concern was that we wait until we graduate. Parent's just worry that with planning and married life you'll not be able to keep up with school work. An understandable if not frustrating worry.

If it works for you and your fiance then get married when you want. That being said, if your mother and rest of your family really throws a huge fit and are determined to die because of your choice, would waiting another year really hurt? In all honesty, it might even be less stressful for you, not because of your family, but because of having to balance school, nursing duties, and wedding planning at the same time.

Whatever you decide, I'm sure your parents will come around, they always do

svanculin · February 2012

We were originally planning on doing it before graduation, but it felt like we just had too much on our plates. We are waiting until 4 months after we finish, so we can both have time to establish ourselves. We didnt want to wait too much longer though, I got engaged as a sophomore in college, and I'm ready to be his Mrs. =]

mrandmrsbrist · February 2012

We got married when my H still had 2 years of school left. I'll be in school for a while (online and part time) so we would have gotten married before I graduated no matter what.

Starqueg · February 2012

I'm getting married next January, and finishing graduate school in May 2013. My fiance is finishing law school in May 2012. No one has said anything about us getting married while I'm still in school. Personally, I'd be more worried about getting pregnant before I graduate than married. At least weddings don't require weeks off.

laughingalot1618 · February 2012

I didn't find out I was going to be able to graduate until after we picked our wedding date. My mom was fine either way, but I can tell she is really excited for me to graduate before we get married.

MMRoberts11 · February 2012

We are getting married before I start my next program but after I finished my undergrad.

Mark&Steph · February 2012

We deliberately planned the wedding for after I will graduate from my master's program. We do long-distance (500 miles) while I'm in school, so it made more sense to wait until after I graduate/move. But do what works for you!

violakat03 · February 2012

We originally planned our date for after my graduation. He's been out of school for 4 years but I went back to school after taking "a year" (aka five) off, and right now we're living 2 1/2 hours away from each other so I can follow my dream and finish at the university I've dreamed of graduating from since I was little. Unfortunately, because my transfer credit didn't go the way it was supposed to, I'm graduating a semester later than originally planned, meaning we'll be getting married half way through my final semester. We talked a long time about pushing it back one year (we absolutely want to get married in October) but decided we'd tough out the first few months of living seperately and it will make finally moving in together all the sweeter.

I look at this way - FI is a teacher, and he values education above all else. Without his support, I wouldn't even be in college right now (he's the one that gave me the push I needed to go back), so I know he's 100% ok with the situation, and while our parents weren't fond of it when they found out, they both agree, it could be worse - at least we're not living thousands of miles apart!

ameliah19 · February 2012

FI and I both graduate this year with our BA's (me in May, him in June) and we got engaged in August 2011 but we are waiting until May of 2013 to get married. The reason being is that we wanted to have enough time to find full time jobs, which could possibly not be in Ohio. Move out of our apartment (possibly purchasing a Condo?!?) and then saving enough money to pay for the wedding (which everything that needs a deposit has one thanks to us working all the time). But it really is whatever works for you, personally I could not imagine getting married while I was in school. I just get way to overwhelemed with school, working and all my other responsibilities. But if it works for you and FI then I say do it.

misstomrstodr · February 2012

I already have my MPH and my BA, but I am currently finishing up my 2nd year of doctoral studies. I took my first qualifying exam in January and made sure that I wouldn't have to take any summer classes this summer so I could completely enjoy the summer (and especially my wedding on June 30th and my honeymoon). I have a couple years left, but I don't really know the difference of getting married or being engaged when you are in school. Actually, if the wedding is over with before your 4th year, you can completely focus on finishing nursing school without having the stress of planning your wedding during your senior year. Good luck!

toothpastechica · February 2012

If I could do it over again, I would not be planning and in school at the same time. Full time school takes a lot of energy and planning a wedding on top of it, is doable, but its reallly easy to use as an excuse to be distracted, and I find myself stressing over details that are not that big of deal, but because time is running out and I dont have the time or energy to do a lot of running around, I tend to worry about things earlier and how in the world will they get done. Having said that...if your as crazy as the rest of us on the student board, we are here to support you through those moments of being overwhelmed by trying to do both! (So a month after grad...I wouldnt recommend either...maybe 3-4 months after since thats really when the wedding details start to become bigger priorities.

[Deleted User] · February 2012

originally, my DH and i were going to get married after i had graduated from college, which would have been in June of this year. we got engaged back in 2010, so i originally had no problem with it... that is until I realized just how long our engagement would be. after talking it over with my parents and his parents, we decided to move our wedding date up almost 9 months. i got married right at the beginning of my senior year, and i don't regret it one bit. sure, it is kind of weird being the only one of my friends to be married, but i like it. things haven't changed for me and my friends, and i still go to classes every day. i love the fact that i'm not planning during my senior year, and that i get to enjoy it all.

Bett2012 · February 2012

We both have 12 months of undergrad (including teacher's college) when we get married, but both of our sets of parents got married in university, so we had their full support! so it's not the same thing... not sure.

Sydney91 · February 2012

We will be getting married 2 weeks after my FI graduates university, so in May 2013. I am a semester behind thanks to a failed class and scheduling issues. The next fall, I have to return to school in the town we are currently in, and he will be an hour away at another university, starting his second degree. We will be apart for 4-5 months after we are married, which I am not looking forward to. His parents do not see the problem with this, since they got married and had him while in university, but my parents are worried that I would give up on school once I get my first degree. Once I explained the second degree I'm getting is crucial to us affording FH to be a stay-at-home-dad, worry ceased. I think they just want to know you're planning farther ahead than the wedding date. They aren't used to us being adults capable of doing this yet, and we just need to show off our maturity by planning ahead and talking to them about it.

RandaW · February 2012

I can completely understand where you are coming from! The FI and I originally planned to wait until we are both out of school before we got married. In January we changed out minds and now we are getting married 3 months after I graduate and 9 months BEFORE he graduates. We changed the date because it is what we wanted and ultimately it is our lives.

LeiselEB · February 2012

I'm getting married after undergrad, but I will be starting law school a few months after the wedding.

It's up to you, but keep in mind that changing your marital status can mess up financial aid, loans, etc. in certain states.

Is it REALLY that crazy???

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