I judge..

louisvillebride21 · December 2011

I'm just saying that you can't know the intricacies of anyone's life. I knew the type of shiit I grew up with. The judgement, the getting made fun of.But you know what? I wouldn't have eaten if it weren't for food stamps. So, I'd rather 100 people fuuck the system and just ONE kid get to eat at night.

You have NO idea how hard it is to survive like that. You only get to make a certain amount of money to qualify for state aid. But that amout of money? It isn't enough to survive on without the aid. It's a vicious cycle.

eorea · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:13b0ac27-f014-4864-8107-2566df98a37a">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]This is an irrational irritation more than an I judge, but it really pisses me off when people judge EVERYTHING about people because they're on foodstamps. You don't know that person's story based on their handbag, and you don't know jack shiit about them, so back off them. Not every person on welfare is milking the system, in fact, most of them are not. If someone judged me based on ONE THING they saw me do, and assumed to know everything I've done in my life, I would think that'd be a little unfair, don't you? Or are we all perfect...I forget.
Posted by crfische[/QUOTE]

<div>This! Thank you. </div><div>
</div><div>Also, I judge anyone who pays that close attention to the person checking out in front of them at grocery store. </div>

KellyBrian2013 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:31b98266-673b-40bd-8e44-70f721835696">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I judge.. : It would have been so hard for me not to punch that person.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

It was a good thing FI was with me... he pretty much grabbed my arm and walked me away. I was ready to have it out.

The Mel and Todd Show · December 2011

So. Now I also judge people who would not give a child a gift simply because others are doing do, as well. My kids made out well this year. We wherein a position to give a little more than we have in years past, so we did. I'm glad my relatives aren't so shitty as to give them nothing next year because of it.

crfische · December 2011

Unfortunately, no one makes graphs and news stories about the people who ARENT abusing the system. Everyone knows THAT PERSON who may be abusing the system. There are abusers of every system, welfare and otherwise, but talking about your best friend's sister's neighbor who this one time had a nice purse and was still on food stamps OH MY GOD isn't much of an argument in my world.

Loopyseven · December 2011

I have no judges. I was gonna swoop in here and defend tanning before going to Mexico, because I do it every year for 3 weeks before I go to Mexico (but I also wear 30+ suncreen while IN Mexico), but then I decided it wasn't worth defending. I could just wear like 100+ sunscreen and skip the tanning and probably be better off LOL.

Rosie109 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:362cae23-a075-4226-b307-9da3259485a8">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I judge.. : As in, you don't get to judge someone working FT who is on welfare/food stamps? <strong>Because I hardcore judge my coworker who parties regularly, lives at home with her parents (admits its for free), doesn't pay for childcare (because her parents watch her kid), and who regularly shows up to work with her newest bag/accessories from the Coach outlet and her perfectly maintained professionally colored hair, acrylic nails, and pedicures....</strong> I judge people who side-eye parents of children with exceptionalities. They're people too. (Overheard someone at the grocery store yesterday make a remark about why a parent would bring "a child like that" to a public place... referring to a parent with a little girl with down syndrome who was minding her own business, quiet, and smiling.)
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]

Did you leave a part of this out? Because if you didn't, you sound like you are judging her for not really doing anything.. well wrong.

ErinG93 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:31b98266-673b-40bd-8e44-70f721835696">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I judge.. : It would have been so hard for me not to punch that person.
Posted by midgetthemighty[/QUOTE]

I would have punched them. I CANNOT put up with that shiit.

lyndausvi · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:9c0b677c-d762-41f5-ab36-e59b8071fc6e">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I judge.. : The kid has a hard time keeping his mouth closed. His rent was about $300 a month, and utilities and other bills (groceries, cell phone, etc) added up to about the same. He never spent money anywhere else. He was always the first to call himself a cheapass. I actually do know about the guy's life. It is a random I judge. I admit, I probably should have generalized in my OP about it.
Posted by crfb87[/QUOTE]

<div>I actually do not have a problem judging someone your know. </div><div>
</div><div>I have a problem judging someone you do not know. There are many ways to have a LV bag and be on Food Stamps. Those 2 things do not go hand and hand. They might have had the bags for years before going on food stamps, it might have been a gift, they might have scored a find a the local thift shop. </div>

whitsy · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:45a5a397-2ab5-4a31-be3d-a1d6c83d396f">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm just saying that you can't know the intricacies of anyone's life. I knew the type of shiit I grew up with. The judgement, the getting made fun of.But you know what? I wouldn't have eaten if it weren't for food stamps. So, I'd rather 100 people fuuck the system and just ONE kid get to eat at night. You have NO idea how hard it is to survive like that. You only get to make a certain amount of money to qualify for state aid. But that amout of money? It isn't enough to survive on without the aid. It's a vicious cycle.
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

<3

gct2010 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:27329529-360e-4862-a2ca-defe9a596979">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]No way can you tell a real from fake without inspecting it. I mean, yes, you can tell a bad fake right away. But a good one? No. There are tells that you have to really look for. Usually inside the bag.
Posted by louisvillebride21[/QUOTE]

Not entirely true with Louis bags. The real ones do not cut the L & V initals across the seam.

So if you see one where the Ls and Vs are chopped off, it is fake. Although with fakes being as good as they are now who knows! :p

baystateapple · December 2011

I judge my cousin (the same one who was cheating on her husband) for constantly ignoring her family so she can go party, jet off to NYC for the day, go to the movies every time she has a free minute off, etc. And then she defends it by saying "I deserve some 'me' time." Yes, every parent does, but holy shiit, every single day is "me" time. For God's sake, parent your kid, stop leaving her at home and throwing your iPad in her bed so she'll "entertain herself." The poor kid is two and doesn't speak, at all, because her father is almost always working and her mother barely interacts with her because she's too busy cheating on her husband and ignoring her.

Rosie109 · December 2011

Also? only poor people shop at the coach outlet. she isn't milking the system right if she has to go to the outlets.

Nickivegan · December 2011

I live in section 8 housing. Anyone want to judge that? I always forget that we are using a program. Granted it's for artists, but it's really helpful. Not only can we afford a better place, but we are surrounded by other artists and get jobs from being apart of the Artist Co-op.

crfische · December 2011

Well, next time I see someone pay with food stamps and have a nice person, I PERSONALLY am going to ask to inspect it. Because that's the kind, human thing to do.

Serendipty11 · December 2011

What I want to know is how do you all think the scammers work? After Katrina rolled through I helped people apply for state aid ( via an organization) and it really is NOT as easy to scam as people seem to think. The state can see where you have worked, any bank accounts you have, anything tax related etc. etc. So unless droves of people are somehow making buttloads of money and putting it under their mattresses they are legitimately qualifying for it. And if you want to judge that then I would have to say go fuuck yourself and let's see how YOU do living at povery level with no help.

louisvillebride21 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:e088ef99-73fa-4ed6-aee7-9d76901574f5">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]What I want to know is how do you all think the scammers work? After Katrina rolled through I helped people apply for state aid ( via an organization) and it really is NOT as easy to scam as people seem to think. The state can see where you have worked, any bank accounts you have, anything tax related etc. etc. So unless droves of people are somehow making buttloads of money and putting it under their mattresses they are legitimately qualifying for it. And if you want to judge that then I would have to say go fuuck yourself and let's see how YOU do living at povery level with no help.
Posted by Serendipty11[/QUOTE]
Thank you.

amys325 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:08905708-96b3-4bff-b971-d4019f34c35a">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I judge.. : I actually do not have a problem judging someone your know. I have a problem judging someone you do not know. There are many ways to have a LV bag and be on Food Stamps. Those 2 things do not go hand and hand. They might have had the bags for years before going on food stamps, it might have been a gift, they might have scored a find a the local thift shop.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

Lynda, I completely agree with you on this.

With that said, I want to judge someone, but she could be lurking on these boards....grrr.

emilyinchile · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:82517a9a-a19e-46c0-b30f-44bc38a8e7da">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I judge.. : Not entirely true with Louis bags. The real ones do not cut the L & V initals across the seam. So if you see one where the Ls and Vs are chopped off, it is fake. Although with fakes being as good as they are now who knows! :p
Posted by gct2010[/QUOTE]

<div>Right, because there's only ONE kind of fake LV bag, and there's no way that someone out there has figured out exactly what you've figured out and is making them look like the real ones by cutting the seams correctly.</div>

Rosie109 · December 2011

I judge ring picture signatures tbh.

The Mel and Todd Show · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:b0db4264-9b55-41bf-88f1-470b520cdd12">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I judge.. : I don't think a 6 month old needs 150 toys for Christmas. Sorry. Or maybe they do, but FFS don't post it all on FB.
Posted by yaga13[/QUOTE]

Children don't need any Christmas presents. At all. But I guess you've realized that by no longer giving them. Good for you. Doing your part.

Rosie109 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:5cbde56c-16d5-4329-9270-bef1bcaf630a">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I judge.. : Children don't need any Christmas presents. At all. But I guess you've realized that by no longer giving them. Good for you. Doing your part.
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]

Jesus is the reason for the season mel. Not 150 presents. DUH.

KarleeKrause35 · December 2011

I judge a good friend of mine for being irresponsible as fuuck.

She and her boyfriend both still live at home with their parents.
They decided to buy on a dalmation that they are picking up this weekend on the way home from vacation. She says the dog will be living between both homes. (How they are going to train it effectively, I'm not sure.)
The kicker is that neither set of parents know about the dog. She said "I'm hoping they'll see it and think it's so cute and won't be mad."

I think it's awful. They are also currently on this vacation with his parents, and didn't bother to pay for the gas to get there. Since they're driving with his brother, surprise! He has to be the one to drive them 4 hours home with a brand new puppy that isn't housebroken. When I asked why, she said that they couldn't afford the gas to get there since she's a student. Why the hell does she think she can handle the expense of a dog then?!

I told her I thought she was being completely irresponsible and that a dog is not just a toy to play house with. We are not speaking anymore. Oh well.

ErinG93 · December 2011

I don't care if my nieces get 1,000 presents for Christmas. I love giving them gifts and watching them play with their new toys.

whitsy · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:fe4bed8a-486a-4240-ae0b-24ab26ff0bd8">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I judge.. : Jesus is the reason for the season mel. Not 150 presents. DUH.
Posted by Rosie109[/QUOTE]

Which is why saying happy holidays breaks my poor little baptist heart. Keep CHRIST in CHRISTmas y'all.

StephBeanWed61502 · December 2011

I used to volunteer at a legal clinic helping women who were leaving abusive husbands/boyfriends. Pretty much all of them were on public assistance when I met them, because the abusive @sshole they were leaving made sure they had no means of supporting themselves. Many of them did have nice things, which were paid for by abusive hubby before they found the courage to leave (since, you know, expensive presents totally make up for spousal abuse), and if you saw these women in the grocery store, you'd probably think "how the hell does she qualify for food stamps?" But the public assistance was the only thing saving them from going back to truly nightmarish living situations because they couldn't afford to eat. Whatever a person may appear to have or not have, you don't know their story, and the fact is that many people on public assistance are decent, hardworking people who are trying to provide for themselves and their kids in any safe way possible. It makes me crazy when people judge others for taking public assistance.

And on an unrelated note, I judge when people use "walla" when what they really mean is "voila."

The Mel and Todd Show · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:fe4bed8a-486a-4240-ae0b-24ab26ff0bd8">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I judge.. : Jesus is the reason for the season mel. Not 150 presents. DUH.
Posted by Rosie109[/QUOTE]

Technically, the solstice is the reason for the season. But let's not split hairs here. Let's just do our part to right the wrongs of these terrible parents.

Rosie109 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:d10faacb-5db0-45d9-bf40-d857f09cd594">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I judge.. : Technically, the solstice is the reason for the season. But let's not split hairs here. Let's just do our part to right the wrongs of these terrible parents.
Posted by The Mel and Todd Show[/QUOTE]

Shall we steal presents then? Maybe burn them in front of said children to teach them valuable life lessons?

The anti-christmas. I like the sound of this. I bet Obama celebrates for sure.

baystateapple · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:dd892d82-b871-48fa-94ed-b67ccd0eac03">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]I used to volunteer at a legal clinic helping women who were leaving abusive husbands/boyfriends. Pretty much all of them were on public assistance when I met them, because the abusive @sshole they were leaving made sure they had no means of supporting themselves. Many of them did have nice things, which were paid for by abusive hubby before they found the courage to leave (since, you know, expensive presents totally make up for spousal abuse), and if you saw these women in the grocery store, you'd probably think "how the hell does she qualify for food stamps?" But the public assistance was the only thing saving them from going back to truly nightmarish living situations because they couldn't afford to eat. Whatever a person may appear to have or not have, you don't know their story, and the fact is that many people on public assistance are decent, hardworking people who are trying to provide for themselves and their kids in any safe way possible. It makes me crazy when people judge others for taking public assistance. And on an unrelated note, I judge when people use "walla" when what they really mean is "voila."
Posted by StephBeanWed61502[/QUOTE]

All of this.

The church I work for hands out food baskets at Christmas and Thanksgiving. Many of the women who come to pick them up are from the local center for battered and abused women. They come in nice cars, are dressed nicely and have quality purses, but their husbands or boyfriends have cut them off, or they're in jail, or the women are trying to make a fresh start. You can't judge.

I mean, you could, I guess. But why.

ILoveToRobot · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_judge-34?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:091f5f26-5755-4751-b8e6-8678f0f634d2Post:08905708-96b3-4bff-b971-d4019f34c35a">Re: I judge..</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I judge.. : I actually do not have a problem judging someone your know. I have a problem judging someone you do not know. <strong>There are many ways to have a LV bag and be on Food Stamps.</strong> Those 2 things do not go hand and hand. They might have had the bags for years before going on food stamps, it might have been a gift, they might have scored a find a the local thift shop.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

I would argue that if someone on food stamps had a real LV bag that was in good shape that they should sell it. Obviously they need the money more than they need the bag. And the whole argument against that "but it's the one nice item they have for themselves blah blah blah" is baseless. If you're THAT hard up for cash that you have to use other peoples money to buy your groceries then you should be doing everything humanly possible to get yourself out of that situation.

I judge..

Re: I judge..

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