October 2013 Weddings

BM Communication Etiquette ?

So, last week I finally asked all of my bridesmaids to be a part of the bridal party and they all agreed!

Yesterday I sat down and wrote an email to them outlining what I expect (bachelorette party and show up in dresses we pick out) and how I see things going - them telling me what, if anything, they want to help with.

I have only heard back from two of the five, and I sent the email yesterday afternoon. Now, I understand that I am insane with email because I check it constantly and that isn't necessarily the norm, but because of it I get impatient if I haven't heard back in 3 hours. (I know it is ridiculous - I KNOW it is!)

I am wondering what the standard normal person's response time expectation is? When is it okay to follow up with them? (I did ask them to let me know what dates will work to go dress shopping so I can make an appointment, and they have all indicated that they want to come to that, which is the response that I am waiting for)
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Re: BM Communication Etiquette ?

  • Hm. Difficult to determine.

    Hearing a response in a few hours is not really something you can expect, but you should hear back within a few days.  

    If you send out information for making an appointment for dress shopping, and only some respond, then just go with the group that does respond. Then, send another email stating the time that has been chosen (by the people that do respond). If some can't come during that time, then they should have responded earlier.

    I have 7 bridesmaids, and I have gone to look at dresses (well, the dress was already chosen) but I have got to look at THE dress a few times, with diffrent groupings of my bridesmaids. It isn't really practical to think that 8 people can all be free at the same time.

    Don't stress about it too much, give the girls some time to respond, and then make plans.


    Also, technically, you shouldn't tell them you want a bachelorette party ;) That is one of those things that they as a group decide if they want to throw, or not. Generally, there is some type of festivity planned, but you really shouldn't "request" it via email. You might want to tell one girl (maid of honor, perhaps) some of your ideas and wishes, but from there, it's all up to them. Same goes for a shower.
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  • I agree with a few days time to hear back from all of them.

    I am like you in that I want answers right away! But not everyone is like that and you should give them some time :)
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  • I would give them some time, a few days at least as not everyone checks their email regularly. 

    What I did with my girls, was make a private, invite-only Facebook page for all of us to communicate with each other, create events (dress shopping, and the like), and post ideas and progress about the wedding. It's been so much fun thus far and it's working out very well for us. Also, on the upside if you're a person who wants to know who has or has not seen something, it tells you how many members have seen each individual post. 

    And yes as stated above, it's not proper etiquette to dictate, demand, or outline a bachelorette party or shower for yourself. That's up to your girls :)
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  • The facebook group is a great idea! Thanks for the suggestion!

    With regard to the bachelorette party, the only reason I said something is because my MOHs and one of my bridesmaids are already planning it. :-) I read plenty of articles that told me I can't expect anything so I was aware of that piece!
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  • I would give them at least a few days. I myself typically don't answer eMails until the weekend even if I've read them simply because I don't have the brain power to do anything after work on the weekdays and my day off is always crammed with appointments. Unless it's something that's truly time sensitive, I will let it linger until the weekend.

    I've toyed with the idea of making a Facebook group for our wedding party simply because most of them don't know each other and I'd like for them to all get to know each other better. I think it would also be helpful for the ladies when they're picking their dresses because they can all share links and their dress ideas, as they're all picking their own dresses in fall colors.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_bm-communication-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:43910e56-53bf-41e1-a421-4fcb8d23dd3fPost:3d2f70fd-9314-44f7-a5c1-2faa57e1fbb4">Re: BM Communication Etiquette ?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would give them at least a few days. I myself typically don't answer eMails until the weekend even if I've read them simply because I don't have the brain power to do anything after work on the weekdays and my day off is always crammed with appointments. Unless it's something that's truly time sensitive, I will let it linger until the weekend. I've toyed with the idea of making a Facebook group for our wedding party simply because most of them don't know each other and I'd like for them to all get to know each other better. I think it would also be helpful for the ladies when they're picking their dresses because they can all share links and their dress ideas, <strong>as they're all picking their own dresses in fall colors.</strong>
    Posted by ahstillwell[/QUOTE]

    <div>YESSS!  That is what my girls are doing.  I am glad I am not the only one.  I hope it works out nicely!  May I ask what color the men are wearing?  I want to do suits, but I am not sure what color to pick.</div>

  • Ro041Ro041 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2013
    Also, to OP, it took my best friend from college three days to respond to an email requesting his new address.  I didn't alert him that the email was coming, so he just came across it when he checked his email.  I would give everyone a few days, and if you haven't heard anything from a few of them, you can ask them the next time you talk to them if they had a chance to look at your email.  

  • I honestly don't see it necessary to have a fb page or even e-mail thread. Use a phone. All my BM's have each other's phone numbers and that has been working out pretty well. They don't all know each other either.

    Wait a few days to a week before getting irritated. I have an e-mail adress I check once every two weeks, if I remember I have that one.

     

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_bm-communication-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:43910e56-53bf-41e1-a421-4fcb8d23dd3fPost:459bbfd4-4546-4a0d-a906-22468dfb3a17">Re: BM Communication Etiquette ?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: BM Communication Etiquette ? : YESSS!  That is what my girls are doing.  I am glad I am not the only one.  I hope it works out nicely!  May I ask what color the men are wearing?  I want to do suits, but I am not sure what color to pick.
    Posted by Rochelle041[/QUOTE]

    I think we're gonna wait to see the general color scheme the girls choose and then pick the suits based on that :D.

  • EmilyTorkEmilyTork member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    edited January 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_bm-communication-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:43910e56-53bf-41e1-a421-4fcb8d23dd3fPost:d9a7baee-ad07-4326-8a45-680b50483e0e">Re: BM Communication Etiquette ?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I honestly don't see it necessary to have a fb page or even e-mail thread. Use a phone. All my BM's have each other's phone numbers and that has been working out pretty well. They don't all know each other either. Wait a few days to a week before getting irritated. I have an e-mail adress I check once every two weeks, if I remember I have that one.
    Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]

    <div>This. My girls don't even know each other (well they have heard me mention each other) but other than that they aren't friends. But there is no need to rush out for dresses right now. We have a little bit :)</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_bm-communication-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:43910e56-53bf-41e1-a421-4fcb8d23dd3fPost:4f1225b6-084c-4ffe-b8f5-ec343cc62a0d">Re: BM Communication Etiquette ?</a>:
    [QUOTE]You girls have a real 'gem' of a member on this board.  <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gem-from-my-month-board">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_gem-from-my-month-board</a>  
    Posted by MissDramaQueen[/QUOTE]

    YGPM

     

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2013-weddings_bm-communication-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:1925524f-fa8b-432f-a7b5-be486ce756efDiscussion:43910e56-53bf-41e1-a421-4fcb8d23dd3fPost:f260c1d9-5f6d-4461-bea4-64858a8e6904">Re: BM Communication Etiquette ?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: BM Communication Etiquette ? : YGPM
    Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]
    Ditto. :) 
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