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Destination Wedding and Registries

BethellaBethella member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Registry and Gift Forum
So my FI and I are doing a destination wedding to Las Vegas and we originally did not intend on registering anywhere. We figure that it would be a huge gift in itself for those of our friends and family that can be there with us, and I feel it would be in poor taste to have one on top of asking people to spend a lot of money just to show up.

However, a month or so ago, I went to a wedding show and there were a few representatives there saying that it would be a good idea to register somewhere, even though the wedding won't be in the country, because people will want to get us gifts. Since then, I have been on the fence about the whole thing. On one hand, what these people said made sense; i.e. to give my family and friends and idea about what we'd like so they're not left in the dark and possibly end up getting something that neither my FI and I need. On the other hand, were they just saying that so I would register with them? And, most importantly, I don't want to look like I'm all 'gimme-gimme-gimme' and greedy. What are people's take on this situation?
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Re: Destination Wedding and Registries

  • Benny618Benny618
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    Are you inviting guests to the wedding or are you eloping?  If you are inviting guests, I would register.  It's unlikely that everyone you invite is going to attend your destination wedding, and some people might prefer to send a nice gift instead of making the trip.  Also, I've seen bridal showers thrown for DW brides.  If anyone is throwing you a shower you will likely want to register.
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  • BethellaBethella member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_destination-wedding-and-registries?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:01f2a7f1-85c9-4bda-9607-e37af6bc2f7dPost:41f3098a-6863-4c7a-a777-f008fbc1fa54">Re: Destination Wedding and Registries</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are you inviting guests to the wedding or are you eloping?
    Posted by Benny618[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yep, we are inviting people. I just don't want to look greedy by having a registry, you know? On top of that, my FI and I already live together so we have a lot of the things that people would ask for... then again, it would be nice to upgrade a couple of our smaller kitchen electronics <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" /></div>
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  • arrestclementinearrestclementine member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    We also did a DW in Vegas.  We decided not to register, because like you we have lived together for several years and felt bad for the costs associated with attending our wedding.  I also declined a bridal shower.  If you are having a shower, register (and please only invite those that are invited to the wedding). 

    If you decide not to register, I'm sure most guests still gave cards with money.  Most of our guests gave us gift cards or money, we had a couple of random gifts.  So I guess if you want to try to avoid some of the random gifts, you could do a smallish registry to give your guests an idea of what you like and need. 
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  • HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited October 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_destination-wedding-and-registries?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:01f2a7f1-85c9-4bda-9607-e37af6bc2f7dPost:a8758703-a21b-471f-a206-d6c8f09cce71">Destination Wedding and Registries</a>:
    [QUOTE]So my FI and I are doing a destination wedding to Las Vegas and we originally did not intend on registering anywhere. We figure that it would be a huge gift in itself for those of our friends and family that can be there with us, and I feel it would be in poor taste to have one on top of asking people to spend a lot of money just to show up.<strong> However, a month or so ago, I went to a wedding show and there were a few representatives there saying that it would be a good idea to register somewhere, even though the wedding won't be in the country, because people will want to get us gifts. </strong>Since then, I have been on the fence about the whole thing. On one hand, what these people said made sense; i.e. to give my family and friends and idea about what we'd like so they're not left in the dark and possibly end up getting something that neither my FI and I need. On the other hand, were they just saying that so I would register with them? And, most importantly, I don't want to look like I'm all 'gimme-gimme-gimme' and greedy. What are people's take on this situation?
    Posted by Bethella[/QUOTE]

    That's because they were trying to sell you something or get you to register at their store.
     
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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    First Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Definitely make a small registry, especially if you need a few upgrades to stuff you already have.
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  • hoffsehoffse member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I agree with PPs.  I know you don't want to feel greedy (I don't either), but ultimately you can't decide how people will spend their money, and odds are you will be getting presents.  I'm one of those people who doesn't give cash, so you would be getting a nice generic crystal something from me if I didn't see a registry.
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  • brookethebride1brookethebride1 member
    First Comment
    You can do a honeymoon registry.  This will give guests a chance to gift you things to do in Vegas, maybe even as a group.  For instance, a night on the town - purchased through your honeymoon registry allows them to buy you dinner with out a big deal about who is paying while you are all out.  Guests can give a gift and watch you enjoy!
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  • harr0610harr0610
    First Anniversary First Comment
    ^Yeah, no. Honeymoon registeries are tacky, even moreso when you are having a destination wedding. IMO, DW's come with expense for the bride and groom. Asking your guests to cover those expenses (like a dinner out??) is essentially asking guests to pay for your wedding, and to me that's awful.

    We are having a destination wedding and have a small registry. People wanted to get us gifts even if they aren't coming. We're also having an "at home reception" (our actual wedding is immediate family only) so we registered in case someone wants to get us something (although we're not expecting it)
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_destination-wedding-and-registries?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:01f2a7f1-85c9-4bda-9607-e37af6bc2f7dPost:90e82f16-3400-497e-bd7e-ef021e178cdb">Re: Destination Wedding and Registries</a>:
    [QUOTE]You can do a honeymoon registry.  This will give guests a chance to gift you things to do in Vegas, maybe even as a group.  For instance, a night on the town - purchased through your honeymoon registry allows them to buy you dinner with out a big deal about who is paying while you are all out.  Guests can give a gift and watch you enjoy!
    Posted by brookethebride1[/QUOTE]

    <div>Ick!  Please skip this awful advice.  Honeymoon and other cash registries are very rude an inappropriate.</div><div>
    </div><div>I agree with the sane PPs.  A small registry for guests that want to give a physical gift is fine.  Remember, a registry is not asking for gifts, it's just guidance for people that want it.  Guests that don't want to buy a gift won't ask about the registry, and won't even need to know it exists.  </div>
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  • brookethebride1brookethebride1 member
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    I'm really trying to understand why some posters are so negative - specifically with remarks suggesting some are not sane or attacks on what works for some given our circle and guest expectations.

    Here's a post from another thread... It is not a cash registry:

    The gift funds are sent directly to Sandals.  We use them for the activites that the guest pay for by charging them to our room credit.  

    In one of the respondent analogies, we recieve a horseback trip - we take a horse back trip.  Even if we go snorkeling instead, we are using the gift funds for our honeymoon.  To compare, what about getting two or three toasters?  What are you going to do with them?  Rotate them on the counter depending on who is visiting or take one back?  Either way you aren't using the gift as it was orginally intended.  

    Also, our guests are charged 7% fee up front - we nor Sandals hides this information.  Most of us our use to paying service/handling fees or taxes at check out.  This is not decietful nor a rip-off.
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  • SKPMSKPM member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    In Response to Re:Destination Wedding and Registries:[QUOTE]I'm really trying to understand why some posters are so negative specifically with remarks suggesting some are not sane or attacks on what works for some given our circle and guest expectations.Here's a post from another thread... It is not a cash registry:The gift funds are sent directly to Sandals. nbsp;We use them for the activites that the guest pay for by charging them to our room credit. nbsp;In one of the respondent analogies, we recieve a horseback trip we take a horse back trip. nbsp;Even if we go snorkeling instead, we are using the gift funds for our honeymoon. nbsp;To compare, what about getting two or three toasters? nbsp;What are you going to do with them? nbsp;Rotate them on the counter depending on who is visiting or take one back? nbsp;Either way you aren't using the gift as it was orginally intended. nbsp;Also, our guests are charged 7 fee up front we nor Sandals hides this information. nbsp;Most of us our use to paying service/handling fees or taxes at check out. nbsp;This is not decietful nor a ripoff. Posted by brookethebride1[/QUOTE]
    I can't bold from my phone... But "Most of us our use to paying service/handling fees"? I hope your registry isn't some knockoff site that can't communicate properly in written English.

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  • brookethebride1brookethebride1 member
    First Comment
    You feel like a big girl attacking my typos?  Jeez guys, all I did was point out it was working for me and ask you to not attack.  Good job with that.  Pardon my typos.  
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  • soontobehasrounisoontobehasrouni member
    First Comment
    the only people ive ever heard bash registries from your HM resort are people on theknot. We set up one thru secrets but cant figure out how to put it on our website. obviouslym our HM is paid for by ourselves. If people are offended by it...dont buy it. I would rather send a couple horseback riding instead of buying them the crappy toaster tey registered for that theyll use once a month. but thats just me.
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