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telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding

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Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding

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    mica178mica178 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    Whoops, I missed the part about the GM backing out.  I can't say I blame him.  I don't think my FI would be a GM in a wedding where I wasn't invited.   The thing is, your FI already told his friend not to bring his wife.  And his friend already backed out of being the GM.  It's done.  Plan your wedding and move on.

    Btw, your background story actually seems pretty complicated to me.  I hate the use of the C word, but from what you've told us, it looks like you were in the wrong to begin with.
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    ShanaFryShanaFry
    First Comment

    Well first of all "C U Next Tuesday" should be saved for reality tv and not used by young ladies! Secondly in no way shape or form regardless of back story or any horrific thing you may or may not have done to her should she be at your wedding. I cannot imagine feeling tension on my wedding day! Sorry FI but looks like you need to find a new GM quickly.

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    TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    Well, sure you can not invite her, but the consequence is that the GM will choose not to attend. It's either/or.
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    NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:19d20080-594c-441d-b5d9-4b1a0994ad01">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : What satisfaction? I, personally, don't like attending the weddings of people I don't like. <strong> I get no "satisfaction,"</strong> from that.
    Posted by wadingmoose[/QUOTE]

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    aral2003aral2003 member
    First Comment
    the background story is not even that important.  the heart of the matter is she screamed the C-word at me and i cannot have someone like that at my wedding.  i am getting married at one of the classiest, and most elegant places in Saratoga, NY.  i cannot be having this kind of trash there. 
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    scurtis07scurtis07 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:94b70fed-adce-4924-9981-c30ed71b42fc">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]yeah, i did pull the "she used to be atracted to my fiance" card because it is true.  this woman is 30 and a new mother<strong>.</strong>  i am 29.  other girls that run in this same circle have told me s<strong>he is notorious for being a troublemaker</strong>.   oh, and when my fiance told her husband about her yelling the C-word, he said she claimed to have never said that... even though we both heard it. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

    <div>then why even bother?!</div>
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    Stackeye210Stackeye210 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:94b70fed-adce-4924-9981-c30ed71b42fc">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]yeah, i did pull the "she used to be atracted to my fiance" card because it is true.  this woman is 30 and a new mother.  i am 29.  other girls that run in this same circle have told me she is notorious for being a troublemaker.   oh, and when my fiance told her husband about her yelling the C-word, he said she claimed to have never said that... even though we both heard it. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

    Of course the husband would deny it.  He's trying to be your FI's friend and still have a wife.  He's stuck in a hard spot - you just have to ask yourself how good of a friend is this guy to your FI?  Chances are if you as a couple decide she can't be invited, then you both of to be aware that the reprocussions will be the friend not being a GM - and he may even distance himself as a friend. 

    It sounds as if you have already made your decision about inviting the wife, just understand that you may not be happy with the outcome that way either. (i.e. losing a friend). 

    GL
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    laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:09589171-f926-469d-96fc-67a8fc6a2db8">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well first of all "C U Next Tuesday" should be saved for reality tv and not used by young ladies! Secondly in no way shape or form regardless of back story or any horrific thing you may or may not have done to her should she be at your wedding. I cannot imagine feeling tension on my wedding day! <strong>Sorry FI but looks like you need to find a new GM quickly.</strong>
    Posted by ShanaFry[/QUOTE]
    Excellent advice. No rly.
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    jnic0319jnic0319
    First Comment
    I think you are both wrong.  However, I would have kicked someone out who called me a C too.

    I'm also having a really hard time believing that is the reason she hates you...are you sure that's it?? there has to be more to this story.
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    NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:09589171-f926-469d-96fc-67a8fc6a2db8">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Well first of all "C U Next Tuesday" should be saved for reality tv and not used by young ladies!</strong> Secondly in no way shape or form regardless of back story or any horrific thing you may or may not have done to her should she be at your wedding. I cannot imagine feeling tension on my wedding day! Sorry FI but looks like you need to find a new GM quickly.
    Posted by ShanaFry[/QUOTE]

    Thanks, Emily Post. 
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    AmoroAgainAmoroAgain member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    You look old enough in your pictures to know better than to act lak dis.

    Also, please rewrite your proposal story in the first person.  It's exceedingly pedantic to write it in the third. 
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    georgia_bride09georgia_bride09 member
    First Comment
    [QUOTE]the background story is not even that important.  the heart of the matter is she screamed the C-word at me and i cannot have someone like that at my wedding.  i am getting married at one of the classiest, and most elegant places in Saratoga, NY.  i cannot be having this kind of trash there. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

    Oh, I just bet you are!
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    wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:312b4035-947c-49dc-846e-135306ccae0c">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]the background story is not even that important.  the heart of the matter is she screamed the C-word at me and i cannot have someone like that at my wedding.  i am getting married at one of the classiest, and most elegant places in Saratoga, NY.  i cannot be having this kind of trash there. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]


    No, the backstory is incredibly relevent.  You're pointing the finger at her for how awful she is and the reality is you created that situation.  Now you want to cry and uninvite this woman from your wedding.

    Funny thing, that backstory STILL doesn't really explain why she called you the c word.  I suspect there is, yet, more to the story, but it doesn't go along with your conclusion that she's doing this because she wants your man!

    I'm afraid that at this point excluding her isn't going to keep the trash out of your wedding.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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    emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:312b4035-947c-49dc-846e-135306ccae0c">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]the background story is not even that important.  the heart of the matter is she screamed the C-word at me and i cannot have someone like that at my wedding.  <strong>i am getting married at one of the classiest, and most elegant places in Saratoga, NY.  i cannot be having this kind of trash there. </strong>
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

    Well why didn't you say so from the beginning?! Silly ex-GM, not understanding that your venue requires a certain level of good breeding. Because of course it's the venue that should dictate who you invite to your wedding, not how that person treats you.
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    NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:312b4035-947c-49dc-846e-135306ccae0c">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]the background story is not even that important.  the heart of the matter is she screamed the C-word at me and i cannot have someone like that at my wedding. <strong> i am getting married at one of the classiest, and most elegant places in Saratoga, NY.</strong>  i cannot be having this kind of trash there. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

    GROSS.  Now you sound like a snotty twat.  And I just gave myself a really nasty mental image. 
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    aral2003aral2003 member
    First Comment

    there really is nothing more to this story.  when i reached out to her in January, i was not apologizing for anything.  it was more of an "ok we had our differences, let's put them aside."  even our mutual friends have been like, why the hell is she is angry. 

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    laurenclaire1386laurenclaire1386
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:312b4035-947c-49dc-846e-135306ccae0c">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]the background story is not even that important.  the heart of the matter is she screamed the C-word at me and i cannot have someone like that at my wedding.  i am getting married at one of the classiest, and most elegant places in Saratoga, NY.  i cannot be having this kind of trash there. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]
    So you just came here to get a pat on the back for your decision? Good strategy.
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    Whatever you hatters be hattin. -Tay Prince
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    georgia_bride09georgia_bride09 member
    First Comment
    Nuggs, Shana Fry shoots rainbows and puppies out of her ass. You'll see.
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    georgia_bride09georgia_bride09 member
    First Comment
    anal, why do you keep talking?
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    NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:23fcd500-47d7-41de-bbb3-9107af70fe91">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]there really is nothing more to this story.  when i reached out to her in January, i was not apologizing for anything.  it was more of an "ok we had our differences, let's put them aside."  even our mutual friends have been like, why the hell is she is angry. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

    I don't like people like you, who just think that because you're ready to get over it you assume everybody else is and if they aren't, then you're all "ZOMGWTF why is she so meeeeeeeeeeeeeeean yo???///!11"

    You both are the suck.
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    wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:084f2d57-b411-4326-b336-70cd61d4b189">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding : GROSS.  Now you sound like a snotty twat.  And I just gave myself a really nasty mental image. 
    Posted by NuggetBrain[/QUOTE]


    Ew.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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    aral2003aral2003 member
    First Comment
    actually i came on here to find put what other people would have done if faced with the similar situation. 
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    NuggetBrainNuggetBrain member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:aa99de46-96af-4abc-8e98-fb96dc555fed">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Nuggs, Shana Fry shoots rainbows and puppies out of her ass. You'll see.
    Posted by georgia_bride09[/QUOTE]

    She already reminds me of a not-so-crazy Kristin#s.
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    Stackeye210Stackeye210 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:23fcd500-47d7-41de-bbb3-9107af70fe91">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]there really is nothing more to this story.  when i reached out to her in January, i was not apologizing for anything.  it was more of an "ok we had our differences, let's put them aside."  even our mutual friends have been like, why the hell is she is angry. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

    Maybe you should have apologized for telling someone it was wrong for them to be a wh*re.  That's their business, not yours.  If you wanna keep things classy and elegant in Saratoga, NY then worry about yourself and let wh*res be wh*res on their own. 

    I figured out life is much better when I stop worrying about who's getting a$$.
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    aral2003aral2003 member
    First Comment
    i also dont think it is fair to pay $150.00 for this woman to be at my wedding
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    MattsPenguinMattsPenguin member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:8d7e49ad-c6da-4bec-97de-1da52d6e93dd">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]You look old enough in your pictures to know better than to act lak dis. Also, please rewrite your proposal story in the first person.  It's exceedingly pedantic to write it in the third. 
    Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

    Not gonna lie, I looked up the definition of "pedantic" (NEW VOCAB FOR THE DAY). I concur with your assessment on the proposal story.  The use of the word is very apropos!
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    smokeybaileysmokeybailey member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Maybe she has Tourette's and couldn't help herself.  Now look at you all discriminating against the disabled!
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    georgia_bride09georgia_bride09 member
    First Comment
    I've never been a situation where someone called me a c*nt, so I can't help you.
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    wadingmoosewadingmoose member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:ddce00d9-f4de-46b5-ac7c-da35dce4b2c1">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]actually i came on here to find put what other people would have done if faced with the similar situation. 
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]


    I would not have had a woman calling me the C-word at a wedding, for starters.  But, I tend to not stick my nose in other people's business.

    I also would not have uninvited the wife.  That's rude.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
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    Stackeye210Stackeye210 member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_telling-groomsman-his-wife-not-invited-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d3c4ed31-7b33-4350-b5f5-e31e428a9188Post:31be1dfc-c67b-4903-93b7-597f8a32c6d2">Re: telling a groomsman his wife is not invited to the wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]i also dont think it is fair to pay $150.00 for this woman to be at my wedding
    Posted by aral2003[/QUOTE]

    See I've been trying to help you out and then you go and throw out the plate price.  Come on - if anyone needs classy lessons it's you.

    Stop acting like you're better then her when it was your fault to begin with.  Goodness gracious.  You're cute, but not classy. 
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