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what would you do?

JandA7406JandA7406 member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Rhode Island
So we went to see Crestwood Country Club last night.  The only reason I am considering it is because my parents are members.  I do think the grounds are really pretty and they are letting me do a tent outside because the inside is really outdated (yuck!).  I think it could be pretty because I would have a blank slate...but I don't know.  It doesn't have the wow factor for me and something about saying I got married there throws me off (:/) My mom/stepdad would be happier with it for obvious reasons, my dad could care less on the place.  We haven't been to other places yet, but I know I am going to fall in love somewhere else.  My other thing is we would have to rent tent, chairs, linens, etc at Crestwood because I don't like what they offer BUT they are waiving the site fee right now so that saves money but if I have to rent it all anyways, it may be easier to go some place where it's all included (except food).

What would you do?? Get married there because it would make your parents happy or see the price differences with having more included?
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Re: what would you do?

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    rachelaedwardsrachelaedwards
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would definitely keep looking! There are SO many options that will probably be around the same price after including all the rental fees!! If your heart is saying you dont love it, you should listen! It is so hard when you want your family to be happy with all of your choices, and I do think you should try to make your parents happy as much as you can, but the venue is the most important decision, so make sure youre in love with it!
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    URIsweetheartsURIsweethearts
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    keep looking!!! you should love the place you are getting married at. don't settle. it may be tough with your parents- but I agree with the previous post - it is the biggest choice!
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    RoyalOrientRoyalOrient member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I say you should keep an open mind. However, definitely look into other venues and compare what you like and don't like about each place. 
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    JandA7406JandA7406 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are defnitely going to keep looking and it isnt that I don't like Crestwood, but I dont LOVE it.  My concern is not only do I want to make, mostly my mother happy, if she likes the venue she will be more willing to help pay and we don't mind paying at all for things but...this is tough.  Thanks ladies. 
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    LOMLBOATLOMLBOAT
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I worked at Crestwood Country Club years ago (it's actually where I met my FI!) and having an inside opinion, I would say go elsewhere if your heart is not set on it.  I worked there for 2 summers and we did probably 10 weddings the whole time.  They do not exclusively do weddings and you are spot on about it being outdated.  They do not cater to weddings, so there's not a lot of options if that's what you want.  I think you should look around at other places and at the end of the day just sit down with your parents and let them know that you can only do this once and you want to do it right, while still staying within the budget.

    I know that your date is important to you and has significance, but if you were willing to have a Fri or Sun wedding (like you had asked about on a previous post) that is one way to get your dream venue at an afforable cost.  That's what my FI and I had to do and we couldn't be happier because we are doing it our way in our budget.

    Good luck with the decision though, I felt like the venue was the toughest one!
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    JandA7406JandA7406 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I haven't quite decided on changing the date, I am really set on our date.  But for my parents looking at Crestwood and not paying a site fee to the places we are looking at which are anywhere from 3500-8500 is a lot to take in.  

    The inside of Crestwood is dated but they are slowly updating and my parents company has also helped in that regard (they own a painting company) and Crestwood is also under new management.  The outside though is a lot prettier and with a tent I could make it my own but it still doesn't have that WOW factor inside or pulling up ya know?  It is just isnt where I pictured us getting married.  

    FI thinks if it make my mother happy and have her contribute more we should do it but IDK.  Thanks for the advice.  
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    AmandaLeigh1014AmandaLeigh1014
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    KEEP LOOKING! I almost did the  same thing as you with "settling" and I'm glad that i didn't. Both my Fi and i are much happier that we kept looking and found a place that we loved! You do not want to regret later on that you didnt have everything you want for your special day!

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    dberrettdberrett
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Definitely keep looking! My parents wanted me to use Glen Manor House in Portsmouth b/c, as residents, they get a break on the site fee. I laid out a spreadsheet of their site fee and the expenses of renting EVERYTHING else (chairs, plates, etc.) and compared that to other venues that included chairs etc. We found that Glen Manor was actually more expensive than other places because you have to rent everything. They can't argue with the bottom line! Plus, the added stress on you for having to coordinate all of that - that should play on your parent's sensibilities, too.
    Your venue has to speak to you. There are loads of options in the area, many with reasonable site fees. Shop around, or ask us! I'll give you a hint - because mine was a Sundy like someone previously posted, my site fee was on the low end of the range you posted above ;-) The truth is, venues will almost always work with you. Just because they post a fee online or on paper, doesn't mean that's the final number. And you won't know that until you go talk to them.
    Good luck!
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    LOMLBOATLOMLBOAT
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I have to second what dberrett said - Belle Mer brought the site fee down $2k for us and gave us the 'off-season' rate (Nov-April) even though we are having our wedding in May (the 4th).  They wanted our money and business more than a couple extra thousand, they need to rent the space to make money, especially with the economy.  Almost everyone I have talked to has been willing to reduce price or add something in so that what we are paying is worthwhile to us.
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    JandA7406JandA7406 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I will definitely keep looking and look for those price cuts or ask because I am only doing this once and want to do it right and love my wedding!
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