Engagement Party- Do I need to register?

Re: Engagement Party- Do I need to register?

• ElisabethJoanne member

  

  January 2012

  Some people do bring wedding-type gifts to engagement parties, though no etiquette books say it's required or a majority practice. If you don't expect gifts, you don't need to register. But merely having a small registry is not gift-grabby. It's a convenience for those few friends who will want to give you a gift, regardless of whether you're registered. People not interested in giving gifts don't even need to know the registry exists, as no one can volunteer registry information. Let people ask, "Where are you registered?"
  
  FWIW, "Where are you registered?" was one of the first questions I was asked upon getting engaged, so I started a small registry very early, just to have an answer.

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• meganb1977 member

  

  January 2012 edited January 2012

  Maybe I'm out of the loop but I would think I needed to bring a gift to a "couples shower" but not to an "engagement party."
  
  Assuming this is not going to be a gift-giving event, if it's the guests asking, you or your parents could just let people know they don't need to bring a gift.  If it's not your guests asking I wouldn't worry about it.
  
  If this is going to be a gift-giving event, it might be good to refer to it as a "couples shower" and you could register for a few small items like baking pans, kitchen gadgets, etc. but wait on things like china and stemware patterns rather than take a chance that they might be discontinued before your wedding.
  
  Even if people do start asking where you're registered, it's also fine to say you'll be taking care of it closer to the wedding.

  Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.

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• rlavach member

  

  January 2012

  People usually bring gifts to engagement parties around here. Some ask if there's a registry & shop for a lower priced item from there. Most, like myself, get the couple a gift card to one of the stores they're likely to register in (like BBB). 

  

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• Simply Fated member

  

  January 2012

  Sometimes engagement parties are gift giving events, but usually it's a monetary gift. That's how it is in our circle. Either it's no gifts or cash/checks.
  
  My friend's cousin registered for their engagement party and we all side-eyed it. But the cousin's fiancee's family was apparantly okay with it. Or, at least, that was common in her circle from what we gathered.

  
  

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• Chobot member

  

  January 2012

  My wedding party meet and greet which turned out to be a  mini engagement party was 1 year and 3 months before our wedding. Even though we didn't expect gifts, we got several bottles of champagne and 3-4 pairs of champagne glasses. It was a nice surprise. 

  
  

  I say don't register. I am 6 months out and some of my items are already discontinued!

  
  
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• melntaitt member

  

  January 2012

  Engagement presents are always appreciated but not required. Some guests like to bring them but others prefer to wait until the shower/wedding.
  
  I will tell you from experience that it doesn't always matter whether or not you register because guests will bring whatever they so choose to. One of my dear guests brought me a present which could be a duplicate of the ones on my registry but they were...not. I smiled and accepted them graciously; but another guest (who had purchased the ones from my registry) told them it was already purchased. I was then told  I couldn't keep it and to give it back; took it from me and walked away. Yeah...that was great!
  
  I would register to be safe but...you just never know!

  

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• LeiselEB member

  

  January 2012

  We had started our registry before our engagement party (had less than 10 items on it), and if people asked, we gave them the info. We did NOT put anything about it on the invitation. 

  
  

  Some people like to bring gifts and others don't, so I don't see a problem with having a registry available for those who want to ask you or look it up. Just don't advertise it.

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• lilybug6212 member

  

  February 2012

  My mom had an engagement party for us about a month ago, and we had registered about 2 weeks prior.  Of the roughly 50 people there, we received about 10 gifts--mostly bottles of wine, or personal things like ornaments/picture frames and 2 things from the registry... SO definitely not necessary, but people may go looking for it.

  
  

  Hope that helps!

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• AGA7

  

  February 2012

  We did NOT expect any gifts.. however it was suggested to us that if we started a registry before our engagement party, it would give people the option to get us something we needed/wanted.

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