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guest list etiquette

jw2065jw2065 member
First Comment
in New York-Long Island
I am having a guest list issue...to keep within budget my fiance and i set a cut off point at 18 yrs old. it is a friday night wedding. the issue is that on one side of my family, that leaves out 3 second cousins. in one family the mom, dad and two older siblings are invited by the younger brother is under 18. now i have people saying they might not come if they are ALL not invited. what do i do? try to work them into the guestlist(which means others wont be invited) or stick to my guns?
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Re: guest list etiquette

  • StephBeanWed61502StephBeanWed61502 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    It's generally considered rude to break up siblings.  A cut-off at 18 years old is perfectly sensible, and not bad on its own, but splitting up siblings is not good etiquette.  I think your option here would be to invite the parents only, or to invite all of the siblings in cases where one sibling is under 18 and several others are over 18.  The only way you might be able to get away with inviting an older sibling and not a younger sibling is if the older sibling is grown and no longer lives with the parents, because then they are more "adult" where the younger sibling still living at home is a "child," but even then I don't know if I'd feel comfortable breaking up siblings.
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  • alithebridealithebride member
    Name Dropper 5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    edited December 2011
    how much under 18 is he?

     

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  • ckny54ckny54
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I disagree with StephBean. We are having a 21+ wedding and it's unavoidable to split up siblings. The way I look at it is that if I invite one 15 or 10 year old because he's part of a family with a 21 year old sibling, then I would have to invite all the 10 year olds. It's a slippery slope! I say stick to your guns: if people are mad or aren't going to come b/c they can't bring their kids, then that stinks--but people need to accept that you're the bride and this is your wedding. You make the rules!
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  • jw2065jw2065 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think that if we can fit them into the guestlist without going over our capacity, then i will invite them...but otherwise, oh well!
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