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Attendants--who pays?

ejfleitzejfleitz member
First Comment
in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
I'm just starting to work out a budget, and have been reading lots of websites, magazines, and books about who pays for what...and I'm getting confused.  I have read somewhere before that it is the bride and groom's duty to pay for the hotel rooms of their wedding party, but I read here on the Knot that all attendants normally pay for their own hotel rooms.  So, my question here is, who pays?  Should we expect to pay for the MOH and best man's hotel rooms, or is that theirs to pay for?

Also, what about the rehearsal dinner?  Do we pay for everyone's meal (we are planning to go to a restaurant), or do we pay just for our attendants, or just ourselves?
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Re: Attendants--who pays?

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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    At the rehearsal dinner, you pay for everything. 

    On hotels, you don't have to pay, but if you can afford it, it would be nice, especially if you're having a destination wedding or something where the hotel is going to be pricey.  It's not uncommon for a close friend too have to skip a wedding because they simply can't afford the travel.  Please keep their budgets in mind with anything you plan.  If they are traveling to your city, you can always offer them a place to stay with you to help them cut costs.  
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Ditto pp. Typically FI family pays for RD, but if they cannot, then yes, you guys have to pay or not do one.

    Secondly, as far as the hotels go, if you can afford it, go for it, but if not, they will pay for it if they want to be a part of your big day. But it is important to keep budgets and distance, etc in mind when planning where your wedding will be.
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    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    If you're not paying for hotel, make sure they have cheap options.  I had my wedding at a fairly upscale hotel, most of my guests (including wedding party) stayed at its cheaper sister property.  If your wedding location doesn't have hotels in your attendants' price brackets (within a reasonable distance), you may need to either plan to pitch in or look for a different location.  We actually changed our wedding destination because our original plan didn't have sufficient hotel options and we couldn't pay for everyone.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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