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Since it is slow

dothenoodledothenoodle member
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in Snarky Brides
DH and I went to dinner with another couple Saturday night.  On the ride back from the restaurant, we somehow got on the subject of a person remarrying after losing their spouse.  Both the husband and wife said they didn't think they would ever get married again.

I asked if they would marry each other again if they had to do it all over.  Both answered NO.

I asked why.  The wife said they should have never gotten married.

I asked why they are still married.  She said it was just easier, with the kids and all.  Probably once the kids are in college (they are 9 and 5 I think) they will get a divorce.

They got married when she was almost 21 and he was 30, after dating for 5 years.  And she gave all the same arguements we hear from bebe brides here on why they didn't need to wait.

Tongue out
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Re: Since it is slow

  • prettypinkypeoniesprettypinkypeonies
    First Comment
    I don't know, given the trackrecord of this board and the old NEY, I hardly think that we can give any advice  to "beebee brides" on why they should wait.
    Pregnancy Ticker Nathan Robert 12.18.08
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  • noisy_penguinnoisy_penguin
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_slow?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b0c55625-0337-4746-b0b9-a0a3a871aab2Post:a85900ed-5da6-467f-bae3-b668608df63f">Since it is slow</a>:
    [QUOTE]They got married when she was almost 21 and he was 30, after dating for 5 years. 
    Posted by dothenoodle[/QUOTE]

    They started dating when she was 15?! and he was 25?!! Yick.

    image

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  • NovemberrocksNovemberrocks
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    Am I missing something?  Were they both in the car together with you?  And they were openly discussion their future divorce?  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy they at least agree on something, but that seems like a little too much to share on a double date.

    image Mabel the Loser.
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  • dothenoodledothenoodle member
    First Comment
    November, both were in the car, both adding to the convo.  It was freaky.  And they were both so adamant about the fact they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

    And yes, she was like 15/16 and he was in his 20's. 
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  • buddhagoudabuddhagouda member
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    That is just not something I would share with others, especially if they don't want the kids finding out. 
    image
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  • dothenoodledothenoodle member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_slow?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b0c55625-0337-4746-b0b9-a0a3a871aab2Post:b8c80ea5-62a5-43e3-9c0a-f149ac3a164d">Re: Since it is slow</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know, given the trackrecord of this board and the old NEY, I hardly <div><p class="MsoNormal">think that we can give any advice  to "beebee brides" on why they should wait.
    Posted by prettypinkypeonies[/QUOTE]

    I don't think being divorced invalidates your advice.  Depending on the situation, it may actually give more weight to the argument.  </p></div>
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  • KristenBtobeKristenBtobe
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    Well, that's just depressing.
    image Ready to rumble.
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  • buddhagoudabuddhagouda member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_slow?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b0c55625-0337-4746-b0b9-a0a3a871aab2Post:1fe40d06-8346-41b9-81f4-90058d3d779b">Re: Since it is slow</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Since it is slow : I don't think being divorced invalidates your advice.  Depending on the situation, it may actually give more weight to the argument. 
    Posted by dothenoodle[/QUOTE]

    <div>Divorce does not invalidate your opinion, but even if it did a few people getting divorces hardly invalidates the opinions of others. </div>
    image
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  • NovemberrocksNovemberrocks
    First Comment

    Stuff like this gets me really annoyed.  Mainly because my ex was so irreparably broken by his parents' crappy marriage.  They decided to stay together 'for the kids' and as a result, all he knew of marriage was anger, resentment, and cheating.  Of course, it all came to a head when his parents had a very acrimonious divorce two months before our wedding.  In retrospect, I should have run for the hills as soon as that stuff came to light, but I was young and in love (not 21, but still young).

    And, the fact that a 25 yr old would be dating a 15-16 yr old is really icky to me too. 

    image Mabel the Loser.
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  • dothenoodledothenoodle member
    First Comment
    I will admit I added the age info because I knew it was creepy.  I am just silly that way.

    I also wonder if her having by pass surgery this spring and losing about 200 pounds has anything to do with them talking about divorcing. 
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  • CaliopeSpidrmanCaliopeSpidrman
    First Comment Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_slow?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:b0c55625-0337-4746-b0b9-a0a3a871aab2Post:b8c80ea5-62a5-43e3-9c0a-f149ac3a164d">Re: Since it is slow</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know, given the trackrecord of this board and the old NEY, I hardly think that we can give any advice  to "beebee brides" on why they should wait.
    Posted by prettypinkypeonies[/QUOTE]
    I believe a number of people who were previously married (and a couple of the recently divorced) have been by people who admitted they married too young and should have waited, so I think that makes the advice to wait that much more valid.

    "Staying together for the kids" is just such a strange concept to me.  It just doesn't seem like it could work. 
    image
    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
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  • AngieP900AngieP900 member
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    Yeah, "staying together for the kids" insinuates that the kids are clueless. My parents tried that, and we grew up in a house where we never saw them hug or kiss. Certainly does not create a healthy attitude towards marraige.

    I imagine it would be preferable to these children to have a happy mother and father who are apart, as opposed to a miserable mother and father who are together.

    Your friends sure sound like oversharers.
    image
    For less then ten cents a day, you can feed a hungry child.
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  • aligrrl80aligrrl80 member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_slow?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:b0c55625-0337-4746-b0b9-a0a3a871aab2Post:f632add2-f6be-4e3a-87c2-cb231e1a02e3">Re: Since it is slow</a>:
    [QUOTE]They decided to stay together 'for the kids' and as a result, all he knew of marriage was anger, resentment, and cheating. [/QUOTE]

    this was my home too. still is. except all the kids are gone now. I rarely saw my parents kiss or hug or show affection either. once when i was a little kid i remember them laughing and kissing each other in front of us and I was SHOCKED. such a shitty example to set for your children. they can always tell, I don't know why some people think kids are so oblivious.
    image
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