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Addressing Invitations

Jana711Jana711
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in Wedding Invitations & Paper
I'm planning to start addressing my invitations in the next few days and am a bit confused.  I've seen many ways to address invitations for different situations and want to make sure that I address them properly.  Is there a link or website that any of you have used to do this properly with all examples listed together?  I'm afraid of making a mistake and offending anyone on the guest list. 

Because of my profession, I have many guests that are doctors whereas their spouse many not be.  If the wife is the doctor, how should this be addressed, Dr. Hername and Mr. Hisname Lastname? TIA.
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Re: Addressing Invitations

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    slpankuchslpankuch member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Here is a link to address the Dr. question:
    http://www.ehow.com/how_4443129_address-envelope-doctor-wife.html

    It would be (using your example of the woman being the doctor):

    Mr. and Dr. Hisname Lastname

    (Husband always first.)

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    ehenry010ehenry010
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_addressing-invitations-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:baf2b838-4336-41d4-a040-e78ab3239ff3Post:4ef1b34f-accb-44bc-bce4-2c65a296783f">Re: Addressing Invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]Here is a link to address the Dr. question: <a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_4443129_address-envelope-doctor-wife.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.ehow.com/how_4443129_address-envelope-doctor-wife.html</a> It would be (using your example of the woman being the doctor): Mr. and Dr. Hisname Lastname (Husband always first.)
    Posted by slpankuch[/QUOTE]

    <div>This!</div>
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    Jana711Jana711
    First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_addressing-invitations-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:baf2b838-4336-41d4-a040-e78ab3239ff3Post:4ef1b34f-accb-44bc-bce4-2c65a296783f">Re: Addressing Invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]Here is a link to address the Dr. question: <a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_4443129_address-envelope-doctor-wife.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.ehow.com/how_4443129_address-envelope-doctor-wife.html</a> It would be (using your example of the woman being the doctor): Mr. and Dr. Hisname Lastname (Husband always first.)
    Posted by slpankuch[/QUOTE]

    <div>I read somewhere that the lady is always listed first?  Is this not true?  </div>
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    Jana711Jana711
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_addressing-invitations-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:baf2b838-4336-41d4-a040-e78ab3239ff3Post:6fe830b4-f0b1-44d2-ae17-f71a0b225c15">Re: Addressing Invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]I disagree.  My sister-in-law is a doctor, and socially she prefers to be Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.  Alternatively, she is Dr. Mary and Mr. John Doe.  (She hates medical talk at parties.)
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    <div>How would you formally address this couple in this situation?  I have many friends that are doctors and their husbands are not.  </div>
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    Jana711Jana711
    First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_addressing-invitations-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:baf2b838-4336-41d4-a040-e78ab3239ff3Post:2b507009-1505-419f-a57f-8b79bed478b8">Re: Addressing Invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]I would use the Dr. Mary and Mr. John Doe format, assuming that they share the same last name.  If not, Dr. Mary Jones and Mr. John Doe.  This is only for medical doctors or college professors.  PhD's so not use the title Dr.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thanks so much.</div>
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    tenofcups4metenofcups4me member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    According to Crane's, it would be

    Doctor Jane Smith [full name, first and last] and Mr. John Smith

    Their other option is to to skip the Doctor title entirely and do Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, which I would never do.

    Unlike CMGr, the doctors I know DO choose to use their title (Why on earth wouldn't they? Have you ever heard of a male doctor who prefers to use Mr.? I never have.) Unless you have good reason to believe your friends don't want to use their titles, I would absolutely address them as doctor and include their full names.

    And Doctor should be spelled out, not abbreviated.

    Crane's is extremely traditional, but generally perceived as the expert on this. I don't go by most of their advice since it's too traditonal for my taste, but if you want to see their rules, go to http://www.crane.com/etiquette/wedding/marriedcouples?RPL.
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    Jana711Jana711
    First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_addressing-invitations-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:baf2b838-4336-41d4-a040-e78ab3239ff3Post:bdeeee80-63ed-427e-a6ff-e811491a5475">Re: Addressing Invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]According to Crane's, it would be Doctor Jane Smith [full name, first and last] and Mr. John Smith Their other option is to to skip the Doctor title entirely and do Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, which I would never do. Unlike CMGr, the doctors I know DO choose to use their title (Why on earth wouldn't they? Have you ever heard of a male doctor who prefers to use Mr.? I never have.) Unless you have good reason to believe your friends don't want to use their titles, I would absolutely address them as doctor and include their full names. And Doctor should be spelled out, not abbreviated. Crane's is extremely traditional, but generally perceived as the expert on this. I don't go by most of their advice since it's too traditonal for my taste, but if you want to see their rules, go to <a href="http://www.crane.com/etiquette/wedding/marriedcouples?RPL." rel="nofollow">http://www.crane.com/etiquette/wedding/marriedcouples?RPL.</a>
    Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Thank you. For guests with no professional title, it seems wierd to me to address them as Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.  I'm sure that there are some women that don't like going by their husband's name and I'm trying to avoid offending anyone (may not be possible).  To include the woman's first name, would it be Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe?  I've seen so many variations!

    </div>
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    Jana711Jana711
    First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_addressing-invitations-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:baf2b838-4336-41d4-a040-e78ab3239ff3Post:4f7195da-4419-414c-9bd3-f138f803478e">Re: Addressing Invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, but remember, there are traditional ladies who will be offended by Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe.  (I am one of them.)  Unless you know differently, the default wording is Mr. and Mrs. John Doe - especially for older couples! You are right.  It is confusing.  It was easier in the 1950's, before women's lib.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    <div>Thank you for all of your input.  I think that I'm finally ready to tackle these invitations. </div>
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    kristinanddankristinanddan member
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_addressing-invitations-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:baf2b838-4336-41d4-a040-e78ab3239ff3Post:4ef1b34f-accb-44bc-bce4-2c65a296783f">Re: Addressing Invitations</a>:
    [QUOTE]Here is a link to address the Dr. question: <a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_4443129_address-envelope-doctor-wife.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.ehow.com/how_4443129_address-envelope-doctor-wife.html</a> It would be (using your example of the woman being the doctor): Mr. and Dr. Hisname Lastname (Husband always first.)
    Posted by slpankuch[/QUOTE]

    <div>This is not correct. </div>
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    AurorasEnvyAurorasEnvy
    First Comment
    Whoever is the doctor is always first.  IE, if the wife is the doctor -
    Dr. Jane and Mr. John Smith

    I am a doctor, a lot of my friends are doctors, and for something formal like a wedding invite I would use "Dr." in the invite.  To be perfectly honest I personally don't even notice/pay attention much when I get a wedding invite or something that uses titles whether it says "Dr." or "Ms.", but if you are going to do it, why not do it right?  Who knows, some of them may be the type to be offended over that sort of thing.
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