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Engagement Party & Save the Dates

thebtflbridethebtflbride
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in Pre-wedding Parties

Ok, here goes...

We got engaged 3/2010. Shortly thereafter, I found out I was pregnant. Wedding plans were put on hold and planning for a baby shower began.

We set up a date to be married, 3/2013.

We never sent out engagement cards, had an engagement party, or anything.

I'm planning on sending out my STDs by Valentine's Day (2/2012). 2 reasons for this - It gives everyone more than a year notice (for planning of trip, finances, work....) and because it would be a romantic gesture to arrive on Valentines Day.

My hubby to be wants to have an engagement party. I haven't told many people our wedding date so that the STDs would be more of a surprise.

Ok..The Questions-

Should we have an engagement party (even though our engagement was a long time ago)?

If so, should we have the engagement party before or after we mail out our STDs?

I'm not sure what proper ettiquette is...Please help!

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Re: Engagement Party & Save the Dates

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    kimberlyb122kimberlyb122 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Typically an engagement party is thrown for you and not by you... same with showers. I'm pretty certain it would be considered a faux pas/ porr etiquette to throw either for yourself.
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    hboo2011hboo2011
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-party-save-dates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:016f0011-d47d-4f29-8976-bdc7db52f034Post:59a119cd-27b7-4405-aac9-652c14d294f9">Engagement Party & Save the Dates</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, here goes... We got engaged 3/2010. Shortly thereafter, I found out I was pregnant. Wedding plans were put on hold and planning for a baby shower began. We set up a date to be married, 3/2013. We never sent out engagement cards, had an engagement party, or anything. I'm planning on sending out my STDs by Valentine's Day (2/2012). 2 reasons for this - It gives everyone more than a year notice (for planning of trip, finances, work....) and because it would be a romantic gesture to arrive on Valentines Day. My hubby to be wants to have an engagement party. I haven't told many people our wedding date so that the STDs would be more of a surprise. Ok..The Questions- Should we have an engagement party (even though our engagement was a long time ago)? If so, should we have the engagement party before or after we mail out our STDs? I'm not sure what proper ettiquette is...Please help!
    Posted by thebtflbride[/QUOTE]

    You have been engaged for over a year and a half already.. Engagement parties are typically within just a few months of the actual engagement. I would side eye an engagement party invite knowing the couple has been engaged for that long, baby or no baby. (congrats, btw!)

    Proper etiquette states that you do not throw your own engagement party. If someone offers, (which it sounds like they haven't, seeing as you got engaged on March 2010,), then you have an egagement party. Otherwise, you don't get one.
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    SCogs18SCogs18 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it's too late to have an engagement party at this point.  Also, it is not appropriate for you to host your own.

    I personally think Valentine's Day is a little early for the STDs to arrive (unless you are having a destination wedding, then a full year is entirely appropriate!) but maybe that is just me.
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    thebtflbridethebtflbride
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Both my Matron of Honor and my future MIL have offered for the Engagement Party. As far as timing is concerned, they don't see it as a bad thing...However, I kinda do (why I wrote on here). My future hubby also wants to have one. I agree with you ladies though....

    As far as the STDs, we are having a local wedding, but have a lot of out of town family. That's why a year in advance sounded appropriate.

    Thanks for the words of wisdom.
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    thebtflbridethebtflbride
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_engagement-party-save-dates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:016f0011-d47d-4f29-8976-bdc7db52f034Post:e05b9c2b-d045-4fd2-b7ab-9d1f716735ac">Re: Engagement Party & Save the Dates</a>:
    [QUOTE]A year out for STDs is fine if you've got a lot of OOT guests. What about a family reunion instead of an e-party? That lets everybody celebrate and truly visit.  Weddings are a whirl and you get to greet your guests, but you don't get close, personal time with all of them.  Take along a video camera and get interviews with everyone, especially the older relatives. It'll be a priceless memento for your child, and you can edit it and play it in a loop at your wedding.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    absolutely LOVE it! :) thank you!
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