Second Weddings

My first...His Second

I've never been married, my fiance has and his first marriage was based on the fact he had a kid with a girl, it didn't work out and they got a divorce a year later, it's been five years since the divorce.

His Aunt has added me on Facebook, I've met her two times. I made a comment about my wedding and where it's going to be. His aunt leaves me this long comment for everyone to see, saying I'm planning too early its still 16 months till the wedding. And evben her daughters had big weddings and they didn't plan this far in advance.

And that her son's wedding was the best of all he went to St Lucia and got married there, instead of spending $$$$$$$$$$$$$ on a SECOND marriage...and thats what we should do.

So far Ive only put a deposit to reserve the reception hall, which I get a discount because I work there. (it's a casino)  I havne't bought wedding dress, flowers, decorations or anything of the other sorts. And don't I deserve to have a wedding day, and my fiance is okay with it, why is his family against it, and telling us to go off and get married.

Re: My first...His Second

  • Mrs0toBeMrs0toBe member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011

    You deserve whatever wedding you and your FI would like to have.  This is FI's first and my second.  He wanted the whole shebang so that's what we're doing.

    Sounds like his aunt is just annoying.  Delete her post and don't worry about what she thinks.  

  • edited December 2011
    I agree to ignoring her.  Depending on how strongly you feel, you could either delete her post, or you could just respond, "Thank you for your opinion." 

    Facebook is a terrible place to  actually communicate.  I would keep your wedding posting to a minimum.  ~Donna
  • coopsbabycoopsbaby member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    For us it's his first, my second, and we're having the wedding that WE want. We're paying for it, and if you don't like it, don't come!

    I'm also quite a ways out (15 months), but you need to plan ahead at least a little bit, just so you can figure budget and such. Don't let it get to you, she sounds like the type who would criticize no matter what you are doing. But I agree woth the others that keeping things off facebook just makes things easier. Posting wedding details is just like asking everyone for opinions! Just so about your planning and enjoy your day!

    editing for spelling!
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ignore negative Nellies.
    Have the wedding you both want.
    Keep wedding info off Facebook (I really hate Facebook).
    When anyone asks what you are planning, just tell them it's still in the planning stages and (if you intend to invite them) they'll know when they get the invitation. Then add "Aren't surprises wonderful?"

    Welcome to the wise and mature board.
  • 2dBride2dBride member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Even under the old traditions, in which any wedding after the first was to be celebrated privately at the courthouse, the determination of whether it was the first was made based on whether it was the bride's first.  So yours would be considered a first wedding.  And these days, you can do anything at a second (or subsequent) wedding that you did at a first wedding.

    I would quietly delete the comment.  And then either not post on FB about your wedding, or set up a specific list on FB to see your wedding posts, so they are invisible to anyone else.

    I have managed my own FB without drama for some time by having my default be to post to a list called "Not Nuts."  Anyone who is obnoxious on my FB gets removed from the Not Nuts list, and thus doesn't see future posts.  I don't have the drama of defriending them, but they cease to be a problem for me.
  • StephanieM22StephanieM22 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ignore her and delete the comment. Its your wedding have the wedding you and your FI want. I woud also recommend not posting wedding details on FB or making lists of friends who can or can not see all of your posts to avoid drama.
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  • Enjoy, and plan it the way you and your man desire it.  Facebook has privacy settings, use them.  You can regulate who sees what on your Facebook page without totally deleting them.  Smile
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