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Trying to gather honest opinions. Please share!

kaenchiekaenchie
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in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
Ok, I have posted about my situation but I don't think I worded myself correctly because I have been getting unexpected responses. I was married on October 5, 2012 at the courthouse. My then boyfriend and I had planned on getting married sometime in the near future, already buying a house almost a year ago now. We had made plans and dreamed about our big day and the ring was in the works on his end. Working in healthcare, I had a very bad week losing patients and whatnot and I realized I was ready to just be his wife. So with a huge change of plans we decided to buy simple bands and attire and became Mr. and Mrs. We told only immediate family members about this and had a simple dinner after. Being in the wedding business myself, have always dreamt of my big day. Dress, pictures, party, all that jazz. We have decided to have a "wedding day"/"vow renewal" on our one year aniversary. The venue and all the details are very laid back and inexpensive, I just want to have all my family and friends there to celebrate and have a good time together I( didn't get any of this going to the courthouse). I have had several people say that this is a terrible idea, sending me links saying that I don't have a right to a "second wedding", a dress, bridesmaids, photographer, etc. I have already made deposits for the venue, photographer, and purchased a dress. Am I completely crazy thinking I deserve to be a bride and have all my loved ones there with us? I need input now that everyone knows the whole story, torn about if I deserve to be excited about this day next year...
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    Winnertag1Winnertag1 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited November 2012
    Having a "wedding day" is a terrible idea, as you have already had a wedding and are married. You can have a vow renewal but you can not have a second wedding. No bridesmaids, no wedding dress, no veil. You were already a bride, doesnt matter what type of wedding you had. You chose to go to the court hosue and get married.

    For a vow renewal I dont see why you cant have a photographer there to take pictures for you to look back on. But you really shouldnt have any of the spot light dances. You can cut a cake to celebrate your one year of being married.

    Do not put up a wedding registry either.

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    renegade gauchorenegade gaucho member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    .You didn't get the responses that you wanted because this is a bad idea, not because you worded your bad idea incorrectly.

    If having all of your family and friends there, and the dress and bridesmaids and photographer were so important to you, you should have done all of that the first time around.  You say that you didn't "get" any of this at the courthouse, but really you CHOSE not to have any of it.  I would be more understanding if there were some urgent reason that you needed to get married sooner, but there wasn't- you simply decided that you wanted to be married ASAP.

    If you just want to throw a big party for your friends and family, keep your venue reservations and throw a big anniversary party.  But don't wear a wedding dress or expect your friends to shell out money for wedding party attire when you are already married.  And if you insist on going forward with this fake wedding business, you must tell all of your guests that you are already married so they know that they aren't actually witnessing a wedding.
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    kaenchiekaenchie
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    Everyone already knows of our situation. I'm not trying to put up a front to sneak gifts or money. Just wanted to have a big party with all my loved ones.. Guess not everyone agress, but thanks for the opinions!
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    TheVirginiansTheVirginians member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    See your cross post on the ceremony board for comments.
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    AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    You can do what you want, but I'm not sure I'd attend this affair.

    If you wanted a wedding, then you should have planned a wedding.  Now you're married and I truly think you got married for the right reasons.  Why isn't that enough?  Why do you need this big to do that is all about you?

    If you want everyone to get together and be with your loved ones, then throw a party.  But it doesn't need to be a wedding because that ship has sailed. 

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    renegade gauchorenegade gaucho member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    Okay, thanks for clarifying- you mentioned in your OP that you only told immediate family about your courthouse wedding, so I figured that no one else knew.
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    mandi195mandi195
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_trying-to-gather-honest-opinions-please-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9fb8eaa5-9619-4630-a059-9f48f24136daPost:8f31c082-f4c6-4257-ad0b-932dfa538647">Re: Trying to gather honest opinions. Please share!</a>:
    [QUOTE]What area of healtcare deals with both losing patients and the wedding industry?
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    I wondered the same thing...
    Praying for a miracle!
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    renegade gauchorenegade gaucho member
    5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary
    Maybe OP has two different jobs.

    At any rate, having a pretty princess day after running off to the courthouse because you had a bad week at work is in poor taste.
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    Tabbie11Tabbie11
    First Comment
    edited November 2012
    I personally see nothing wrong with having a vow renewal providing it is worded as such. Hell I had my wedding that exceeded all expectations and it was so fun I wish we could do it again an may do a renewal down the line. Who doesnt love a party. That being said you just have to realize that certain things should be omitted, like a bridal party and registry and just make sure your invites are worded appropriately. You can def have a renewal just not a "wedding" http://wedding.theknot.com/weddingplanning/weddingceremony/articles/howtorenewyourweddingvows.aspx
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    libby18belllibby18bell member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Answer First Anniversary
    I agree with Tabbie.  Who doesn't love a reason to have a party and just phrase it as a vow renewal.  The only thing that would differ your renewal from a wedding would be bridal party which I agree you shouldn't have.  If your girls were so important to you they would have been at your City Hall wedding and stood up beside you there.  I know someone who went to Jamaica and got married, and then threw a huge party when they got back to celebrate with family and friends, but they definitely didn't have a wedding party, so don't see how you can either.  No reason not to have everything else you wanted at your wedding.
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    mcda04mcda04 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_trying-to-gather-honest-opinions-please-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9fb8eaa5-9619-4630-a059-9f48f24136daPost:8a79591e-f4a9-47de-9a69-c2b3e4fbb1f9">Trying to gather honest opinions. Please share!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, Am I completely crazy thinking I deserve to be a bride and have all my loved ones there with us?
    Posted by kaenchie[/QUOTE]

    You've already been a bride. Have your vow renewal but skip the WP, showers, parties, and registries.
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    mefrecklesmefreckles member
    First Comment
    Honestly don't listen to people on here.  They are extremely rude.  I think your wedding idea is fine. Honestly I toyed with the idea of getting eloping and getting having a ceremony a year later.  My fiance and I are beyond ready to be together and tired of jumping through hoops.  For example we can't live together because of church rules, so instead we pay two sets of rent each month.

    We decided now to marry at the end of this year and I am happy with that choice but it is putting a ridculousl financial strain on me.  I'm young, just graduated college, and had to move out of my parents house. That's all great but it deson't put me in the sitatuion to be affording the wedding of my dream.  Not too mention with a brand new job I barely have anytime for wedding planning. I love my wedding but honestly it would have been a lot less stressful to plan the ceremony in a few years from now. Not everyone gets married at the right age when they have a good amount of money saved up.  

     You're probably in a similar situation.  You're fiance and you knew it was time and a wedding didn't make sense last year. I don't think that shouldn't mean you can't have your ceremony and party.  Those that would be offended clearly don't understand that sometimes getting married is more important then waiting to have a ceremony. I don't think you should have to live the rest of your life without that moment that most brides get.

    I would probably call it a vow renewel though. Own up to the awesomeness that you guys knew you were right and married! All your friends and family should know that you didn't get your bridesmaids or cake the first time around so I don't see an issue as long as it isn't a scheme to get gifts which I don't think it is at all.

    Best of luck!
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    MrsGandthebeagMrsGandthebeag member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_trying-to-gather-honest-opinions-please-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9fb8eaa5-9619-4630-a059-9f48f24136daPost:404d9c7f-65be-49b5-a58a-3d91943e29b6">Re: Trying to gather honest opinions. Please share!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly don't listen to people on here.  They are extremely rude.  I think your wedding idea is fine. Honestly I toyed with the idea of getting eloping and getting having a ceremony a year later.  My fiance and I are beyond ready to be together and tired of jumping through hoops.  For example we can't live together because of church rules, so instead we pay two sets of rent each month. We decided now to marry at the end of this year and I am happy with that choice but it is putting a ridculousl financial strain on me.  I'm young, just graduated college, and had to move out of my parents house. That's all great but it deson't put me in the sitatuion to be affording the wedding of my dream.  Not too mention with a brand new job I barely have anytime for wedding planning. I love my wedding but honestly it would have been a lot less stressful to plan the ceremony in a few years from now. Not everyone gets married at the right age when they have a good amount of money saved up.    You're probably in a similar situation.  You're fiance and you knew it was time and a wedding didn't make sense last year. I don't think that shouldn't mean you can't have your ceremony and party.  Those that would be offended clearly don't understand that sometimes getting married is more important then waiting to have a ceremony. I don't think you should have to live the rest of your life without that moment that most brides get. I would probably call it a vow renewel though. Own up to the awesomeness that you guys knew you were right and married! All your friends and family should know that you didn't get your bridesmaids or cake the first time around so I don't see an issue as long as it isn't a scheme to get gifts which I don't think it is at all. Best of luck!
    Posted by mefreckles[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Good lord, there are so many spelling mistakes in this post.  This is crappy advice.  

    </div>
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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_trying-to-gather-honest-opinions-please-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9fb8eaa5-9619-4630-a059-9f48f24136daPost:8a79591e-f4a9-47de-9a69-c2b3e4fbb1f9">Trying to gather honest opinions. Please share!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, I have posted about my situation but I don't think I worded myself correctly because I have been getting unexpected responses. I was married on October 5, 2012 at the courthouse. My then boyfriend and I had planned on getting married sometime in the near future, already buying a house almost a year ago now. We had made plans and dreamed about our big day and the ring was in the works on his end. Working in healthcare, I had a very bad week losing patients and whatnot and I realized I was ready to just be his wife. So with a huge change of plans we decided to buy simple bands and attire and became Mr. and Mrs. We told only immediate family members about this and had a simple dinner after. Being in the wedding business myself, have always dreamt of my big day. Dress, pictures, party, all that jazz. We have decided to have a "wedding day"/"vow renewal" on our one year aniversary. The venue and all the details are very laid back and inexpensive, I just want to have all my family and friends there to celebrate and have a good time together I( didn't get any of this going to the courthouse). I have had several people say that this is a terrible idea, sending me links saying that I don't have a right to a "second wedding", a dress, bridesmaids, photographer, etc. I have already made deposits for the venue, photographer, and purchased a dress. Am I completely crazy thinking I deserve to be a bride and have all my loved ones there with us? I need input now that everyone knows the whole story, torn about if I deserve to be excited about this day next year...
    Posted by kaenchie[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>You got to be a bride.  That happened on the day you got married.</div><div>
    </div><div>You're a grown adult.  You decided to skip the planning and anticipation in favor of getting married right away.  That's fine, but as an adult, you have to accept the consequences of that decision.  The consequences of a quick courthouse wedding means that you gave up the big wedding with all the trimmings.  </div><div>
    </div><div>You cannot have a second wedding unless you divorce your H between now and then.  It's physically impossible.  Pretending that it is a wedding is delusional and childish.  Would you pretend to have another graduation if you got sick and couldn't attend the ceremony?  Would you pretend to re-do the birth of your child if you'd had an emergency and had to be put under?  Of course not!  That would be ridiculous.  What on earth would make you think it would be any less ridiculous with a wedding?  </div><div>
    </div><div>You can have a vow renewal if you want to, but most people (likely including most of your guests) feel they're best reserved for a milestone anniversary, like 20th or 25th.  On the other hand, a party is always appropriate.  In your circumstances, throwing a kick ass first anniversary party including cake, dancing, champagne, etc would be great.  </div><div>
    </div><div>It's not the wording that's your problem.  It's the concept.  Keep your venue and vendors, but invite your guests to celebrate your first anniversary.  

    </div>
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    AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited November 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_trying-to-gather-honest-opinions-please-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9fb8eaa5-9619-4630-a059-9f48f24136daPost:404d9c7f-65be-49b5-a58a-3d91943e29b6">Re: Trying to gather honest opinions. Please share!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly don't listen to people on here.  They are extremely rude.  I think your wedding idea is fine. Honestly I toyed with the idea of getting eloping and getting having a ceremony a year later.  My fiance and I are beyond ready to be together and tired of jumping through hoops.  <strong>For example we can't live together because of church rules, so instead we pay two sets of rent each month.</strong> We decided now to marry at the end of this year and I am happy with that choice but it is putting a ridculousl financial strain on me. <strong> I'm young, just graduated college, and had to move out of my parents house. That's all great but it deson't put me in the sitatuion to be affording the wedding of my dream</strong>.  <strong>Not too mention with a brand new job I barely have anytime for wedding planning. </strong>I love my wedding but honestly it would have been a lot less stressful to plan the ceremony in a few years from now. Not everyone gets married at the right age when they have a good amount of money saved up.    You're probably in a similar situation.  You're fiance and you knew it was time and a wedding didn't make sense last year. I don't think that shouldn't mean you can't have your ceremony and party.  Those that would be offended clearly don't understand that sometimes getting married is more important then waiting to have a ceremony. I don't think you should have to live the rest of your life without that moment that most brides get. I would probably call it a vow renewel though. Own up to the awesomeness that you guys knew you were right and married! All your friends and family should know that you didn't get your bridesmaids or cake the first time around so I don't see an issue as long as it isn't a scheme to get gifts which I don't think it is at all. Best of luck!
    Posted by mefreckles[/QUOTE]

    All the bolded is part of growing up and, well, LIFE.  They aren't excuses to throw a second wedding in a few years.  If this were true, then I'd go back to all the major milestones in my life and re-do them because I sick during my college graduation and I couldn't afford an excellent outfit for my thesis defense.  C'mon.  We all make choices with what's in front of us, weigh the options, and go with the best one.  She chose to marry now she accepts the consequences. 

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    SmallenForeverSmallenForever member
    First Comment
    Do what you want. Who cares what people on the Internet think? You may offend some of your guests and you may have a low turn out, but if you want to throw a party, then do it. My friends had a courthouse wedding and then threw a first year anniversary party that was basically a second wedding. It was weird and uncomfortable for the guests, but they were happy in the end.
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    s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_trying-to-gather-honest-opinions-please-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9fb8eaa5-9619-4630-a059-9f48f24136daPost:404d9c7f-65be-49b5-a58a-3d91943e29b6">Re: Trying to gather honest opinions. Please share!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly don't listen to people on here. <strong> They are extremely rude.</strong>  I think your wedding idea is fine. Honestly I toyed with the idea of getting eloping and getting having a ceremony a year later.  My fiance and I are beyond ready to be together and tired of jumping through hoops.  F<strong>or example we can't live together because of church rules, so instead we pay two sets of rent each month</strong>. We decided now to marry at the end of this year and I am happy with that choice but it is putting a ridculousl financial strain on me.  I'm young, just graduated college, and had to move out of my parents house. That's all great but it deson't put me in the sitatuion to be affording the wedding of my dream.  Not too mention with a brand new job I barely have anytime for wedding planning. I love my wedding but honestly it would have been a lot less stressful to plan the ceremony in a few years from now. Not everyone gets married at the right age when they have a good amount of money saved up.    You're probably in a similar situation.  You're fiance and you knew it was time and a wedding didn't make sense last year. I don't think that shouldn't mean you can't have your ceremony and party.  Those that would be offended clearly don't understand that sometimes getting married is more important then waiting to have a ceremony.<strong> I don't think you should have to live the rest of your life without that moment that most brides get.</strong> I would probably call it a vow renewel though. Own up to the awesomeness that you guys knew you were right and married! All your friends and family should know that you didn't get your bridesmaids or cake the first time around so I don't see an issue as long as it isn't a scheme to get gifts which I don't think it is at all. Best of luck!
    Posted by mefreckles[/QUOTE]

    1) Posters here aren't rude, they're blunt. There is a difference. OPs ask for honesty and that's what they get.
    2) How about you get a roommate? There are plenty out there, plenty of recent grads just like you. You'd both have to pay half the rent anyways... Getting married doesn't magically give you extra money- getting married is (financially) like getting a roommate. Some churches understand the financial strain of living separately and may overlook that fact.
    3) What moment are you talking about? The PPD where all eyes are on you? If that's what you want, then save for it, OP. Keep working your butt off and plan your wedding for several years from now. You don't "deserve" a re-do just because you couldn't afford it. There were plenty of things I can't afford, but I don't whine about it and pout (well, a little, but I get over it quickly). I take it like an adult. Ish happens, so deal with it.

    You've already put down deposits, so there isn't much you can do now, OP, without losing your money. Try a lower-key affair- no pouffy dress, no WP/pre-wedding parties, no "wedding" ceremony- only vow renewal. Make sure everyone knows it's a vow renewal.
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    HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    OP you do realize posting this on multiple boards is not going to change the responses right?
     
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    mcda04mcda04 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_trying-to-gather-honest-opinions-please-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9fb8eaa5-9619-4630-a059-9f48f24136daPost:404d9c7f-65be-49b5-a58a-3d91943e29b6">Re: Trying to gather honest opinions. Please share!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Honestly don't listen to people on here.  They are extremely rude.  I think your wedding idea is fine. Honestly I toyed with the idea of getting eloping and getting having a ceremony a year later.  My fiance and I are beyond ready to be together and tired of jumping through hoops.  <strong>For example we can't live together because of church rules, so instead we pay two sets of rent each month. We decided now to marry at the end of this year </strong>and I am happy with that choice but it is putting a ridculousl financial strain on me.  I'm young, just graduated college, and had to move out of my parents house. That's all great but it deson't put me in the sitatuion to be affording the wedding of my dream.  Not too mention with a brand new job I barely have anytime for wedding planning. I love my wedding but honestly it would have been a lot less stressful to plan the ceremony in a few years from now. Not everyone gets married at the right age when they have a good amount of money saved up.    You're probably in a similar situation.  You're fiance and you knew it was time and a wedding didn't make sense last year. I don't think that shouldn't mean you can't have your ceremony and party.  Those that would be offended clearly don't understand that sometimes getting married is more important then waiting to have a ceremony. I don't think you should have to live the rest of your life without that moment that most brides get. I would probably call it a vow renewel though. Own up to the awesomeness that you guys knew you were right and married! All your friends and family should know that you didn't get your bridesmaids or cake the first time around so I don't see an issue as long as it isn't a scheme to get gifts which I don't think it is at all. Best of luck!
    Posted by mefreckles[/QUOTE]

    1. People were not being rude. we were all just telling her that she's already been a bride, therefore her plans sound like an over the top vow renewal.

    2. What religion are you? If you're Catholic, a civil marriage will still prohibit you from co-habitating. you'd still be living in sin until you receive a marriage Convalidation. (Religious Ceremony in the church). If you care so much about your religion, have ONE wedding. get married through your church and avoid the double wedding stress.
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    PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    You know, I always kind of want to be a fly on the wall at these events. It would be comically awkward, and the conversations at the tables HAVE to be interesting. I personally would DIE before doing something embarrassing in public for attention. But then again, some girls get drunk and dance naked on bartops just to have people stare at them, and i've never understood that either.
    Don't make me mobilize OffensiveKitten

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    Ali092011Ali092011 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_trying-to-gather-honest-opinions-please-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9fb8eaa5-9619-4630-a059-9f48f24136daPost:38f38b52-7cc6-44f1-805f-777ac0cfce19">Re: Trying to gather honest opinions. Please share!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe OP has two different jobs. At any rate, h<strong>aving a pretty princess day after running off to the courthouse because you had a bad week at work is in poor taste.</strong>
    Posted by renegade gaucho[/QUOTE]

    Yup. I mean, I work in healthcare. I see people deteriorate and then pass away, and it blows. But maybe you should rethink the field you're working in if you are going to make such rash, drastic decisions after a bad day at work.

    I just don't see why you think it's acceptable for you to "get married" after you're already married. YOU'RE MARRIED. I was married on October 4, 2012, one day before you were. I can't even imagine what would make me feel the need to perform the ceremony again to "make us" husband and wife. Doesn't it seem at all silly to you?
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    carlynkevincarlynkevin
    First Comment
    I don't understand people on this website that think there are any rules to weddings anymore.   They are just mean.  I think we are allowed as many weddings and as many ways to celebrate as we want.  (I am having one wedding, but if I wanted more I say it'd be between my FH and I.)
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    BeachyBride1224BeachyBride1224
    First Comment First Anniversary
    Wow - I guess two of my best friends are completely selfish for having their vows renewed.. and with wedding parties to boot (both of which I'm in).

    According to most of you ladies, their choice to get married so they could go over seas with their husbands (who are bravely serving this country) nullifies their desire to celebrate with more than a courthouse ceremony. Shame on them for wanting to be with their significant others while they are stationed in the Pacific for years on end. How dare they want to celebrate their love with friends and family when they return to the States?

    By the way - if you haven't guessed I'm being sarcastic.

    If the OP and her husband want to celebrate their love with friends and family, who are you to say anything? Guests aren't required to attend - especially if they would "feel uncomfortable" but those that do - are the ones that want to celebrate with them. Not because they've been "tricked" into going to a wedding, but because they want to be there.

    Everyone has different circumstances and the way I'm reading it, you all seem to be of the mindset that OP should be punished for having been married sooner by not being "allowed" this vow-renewal. Really? Punish people for being in love and wanting to share that excitement? Awesome advice.
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    TurtlesAllTheWayDownTurtlesAllTheWayDown member
    First Comment Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    No one  "deserves" a huge wedding with a pouffy white dress and a first dance and a cake cutting and a sit down dinner and 8 bridesmaids in matching dresses. Those are all choices.

    That might be what some women picture, but it's not always reality.

    Sometimes being a grown up means making hard choices. Choices where there is no perfect option. Like getting married with a smaller ceremony/reception you can afford now so you can live where your FI is stationed, or else waiting for him or her to return and having a larger wedding, while not being able to live together. There are major downsides to both. But those are your choices. Suck it up, Buttercup.

    In the OP's case, I actually think it's great that she decided the important part was being married, rather than the bells and whistles of the wedding. Except... then she decided that one important part was the bells and whistles of the wedding. Sorry. That ship has sailed.

    You can have a lovely vow renewal/anniversary party with a kickass evening gown and a nice dinner, drinks, cake and dancing. You could wait and go somewhere exotic in 5 or 10 years for your anniversary and have a fancy party then.

    You would look foolish to re create a wedding, though.
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    Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    This exactly:
    "You had your wedding, if you want to host a party, that is fine, but wedding re-enactments are offensive."

    Oh, and consider changing jobs.  Because if a bad week at work makes you drop all wedding planning and get married at the courthouse, what will you do next when you have another bad week at work?

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    indecisivebride14indecisivebride14 member
    First Comment
    Honestly, who cares what everybody else thinks?! You had your reason for not doing it "right" the first time. Honestly I thought about this before but never was convinced to do it. I don't see why you can't. Nobody knows what your feelings where and are presently and nobody can tell you that you can't do this and this isn't right. Do what you want and what makes you happy. If your husband agrees with it then don't worry about other people telling you no. It isn't their wedding or their situation.
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    CheckeredGroomCheckeredGroom
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_trying-to-gather-honest-opinions-please-share?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:9fb8eaa5-9619-4630-a059-9f48f24136daPost:6c98f7c8-d8d2-4842-82b7-4a2e91620121">Re: Trying to gather honest opinions. Please share!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't understand people on this website that think there are any rules to weddings anymore.   They are just mean.  I think we are allowed as many weddings and as many ways to celebrate as we want.  (I am having one wedding, but if I wanted more I say it'd be between my FH and I.)
    Posted by carlynkevin[/QUOTE]

    DO IT! Go all out and over the top. you "got married" at the court house, thats not a "wedding"
    everyone deserves to have the WEDDING of their dreams. Dont listen to any of the mean things other people are saying, its your day, not theirs. and if you send out the invites and some people dont agree with what you are doing then the worst thing that happens is the dont come and you have one less person to bring you down on your special day.
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