Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Pre-wedding Parties
Pre-wedding Parties
New Discussion
Options

Is the bridal shower about the BRIDE or the HOST?

BetsyFletcherBetsyFletcher member
First Comment
in Pre-wedding Parties
So my sister is suppose to be throwing my bridal shower my April. My only request is the location. I want to make sure that I am comfortable; I'll have a 2month old by then! However, she is stuck at having it at a location of her choice (Moose Lodge). I am NOT interested in this option at all! I feel it is not a good representative of who I am, nor would I feel comfortable there. When I mentioned this to her; she told me, "It's not about you! It's about the host and what the host wants!"!! I was dumbfounded! Isn't a bridal shower about the bride?? Am I being out of line!? Help me out girls, what's you opinion!

UPDATED:
My FML is actually doing the actual "planning" (hiring caters, organizing the event and what-not) but due to her job she is super busy till after tax season and asked my sister for help finding a location.

My sister is NOT paying for anything due to "hard economic times" and my FML has offered to pay for all expenses.
The location is not acceptable for many reasons. 
1. Has a very strong political side; one in which is not my nor my future husbands view point. 

2. It's a bar; and we don't drink (she and her husband are heavy drinkers and there is some fear that she will get trashed (as she normally does) and cause drama)

3. There are dead animal heads all over the walls. Would you REALLY want that in your bridal shower pictures?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Is the bridal shower about the BRIDE or the HOST?

  • Options
    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Retread. It's what the host wants but a good host listens to the bride if she isn't crazy-demanding. What's wring with the place?
    Report Reply
  • Options
    BetsyFletcherBetsyFletcher member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My sister is NOT paying for anything due to "hard economic times" and my FML has offered to pay for all expenses.

    The location is not acceptable for many reasons. 
    1. Has a very strong political side; one in which is not my nor my future husbands view point. 

    2. It's a bar; and we don't drink (she and her husband are heavy drinkers and there is some fear that she will get trashed (as she normally does) and cause drama)

    3. There are dead animal heads all over the walls. Would you REALLY want that in your bridal shower pictures?

    Report Reply
  • Options
    MistyEyeBrideMistyEyeBride member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I can totally see where you're coming from.  I wouldn't want my shower at a place with dead animals on the wall either.  Yuck!

    I think your sister should listen to you and change your location.  But if she doesn't, then I think your only real option is to just tell her thanks but no thanks for the shower and skip it.  That sucks, for sure.  But, I'd be worried that if I kept arguing with her about the shower location, it might backfire and make me, the bride, look bad.  I know that now that I am planning my own wedding, I realize that things aren't nearly as cut and dry as they appear from outside, but not everyone is going to know that.

    I'm so very sorry you're having to deal with this.  It's just not fair to have stress like that over what is supposed to be a happy occassion!Frown
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • Options
    rknox88rknox88
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm glad you gave a little more explanation about why you don't prefer the location - it makes your request for a different location much more reasonable.

    Maybe suggest a location with a cheaper price tag-spin it to the fact that it would save FMIL a little money. If she still won't agree decline the shower.

    Also, why is she calling all the shots while someone else is footing the bill? Just curious-seems strange.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • Options
    BetsyFletcherBetsyFletcher member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FML is actually doing the actual "planning" (hiring caters, organizing the event and what-not) but due to her job she is super busy till after tax season and asked my sister for help finding a location.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    midgetthemightymidgetthemighty
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow...she should change the location and listen to your request. You have logical reasons why you don't it there, so it sounds like she's being a little childish. I would never think of having a bridal shower at a bar. The only ones I've ever been to are at someones house or a church hall, and I've been to a lot of showers.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards