how often to you talk to your in-laws (parents, siblings, etc)?
Now granted we have ALWAYS lived far from both families, I've only seen my MIL 4-5 times since I met DH 6 years ago. So we are a little different.
I call MIL about once a month to say hi. BIL and I swap text messages every few weeks. 1 SIL text every so often and the other one on holidays/birthdays.
I don't think anyone in my family calls DH.
DH calls/text/FB my family on birthdays.
Never once did we think there was anything wrong with that. We like each other, just don't have the need to be best buddies.
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.