FMIL

bethsmiles · January 2011

You don't deal with it, your FI does. Its his mother so its his job to sit down and talk with her about what your plans are for the wedding and the guest list. You should NOT be put in a situation where you have to tell her who she can and can't invite. Its not fair to you and can make for some serious issues down the road.

As a side note, if your parents agreed to pay for immediate family's accommodations, inviting your FMIL's sister wouldn't really effect that seeing that she isn't immediate family. There could be room for compromise here.

AutumnFair · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_passive-aggressive-fmil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:2f2eaf1f-1e23-4542-857d-5bbb4c99f94bPost:f62f055a-6e73-438a-a5f9-8f5db9a867dc">passive aggressive FMIL?</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding is still over a year away, but we have confirmed that we want it to be a very small ceremony, and likely a destination wedding. My FMIL has already mentioned numerous times that her sister will come no matter where we host the wedding. I feel like this is her way of getting involved already and saying, "these are the people I want at your wedding." I have no intentions of inviting anybody outside of immediate family, nor does my fiance. I have not met FMIL's sister, and I feel that if I invite her, that opens the door to inviting my parents' siblings as well as FMIL's remaining FIVE siblings! This becomes problematic because my parents have intentions of paying for all accommodations for immediate family, which weighs heavy on the budget. <strong>How do I politely deal with FMIL's expectations that I invite her sister? </strong>
Posted by futuremrsl6[/QUOTE]

In this case I would definitely have your FI handle it. It's his mother and his family. Basically, he needs to say, "Mom, we have decided to do just an immediate family guest list and if we invited Aunt Sarah we would have to invite aunts and uncles on both sides of the family and that is not in our budget." (or you can just stick with the immediate family).

ichellemay1 · January 2011

I agree with pp - FI needs to have a sit down with his Mom.

RiRi157 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_passive-aggressive-fmil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:2f2eaf1f-1e23-4542-857d-5bbb4c99f94bPost:f62f055a-6e73-438a-a5f9-8f5db9a867dc">passive aggressive FMIL?</a>:
[QUOTE]My wedding is still over a year away, but we have confirmed that we want it to be a very small ceremony, and likely a destination wedding. My FMIL has already mentioned numerous times that her sister will come no matter where we host the wedding. I feel like this is her way of getting involved already and saying, "these are the people I want at your wedding." I have no intentions of inviting anybody outside of immediate family, nor does my fiance. I have not met FMIL's sister, and I feel that if I invite her, that opens the door to inviting my parents' siblings as well as FMIL's remaining FIVE siblings! This becomes problematic because my parents have intentions of paying for all accommodations for immediate family, which weighs heavy on the budget. How do I politely deal with FMIL's expectations that I invite her sister?
Posted by futuremrsl6[/QUOTE]

Sounds like you are telling FMIL that you are having a destination wedding and she is saying don't worry my sister will come where ever it is.

You need to say we are having a destination wedding and only having immediate family.

From your post it doesn't sound like you have made yourself clear on who is invited.

What is passive aggressive about your MIL if you didn't make your wishes clear and from your post you have not?

Muffin'sMom · January 2011

Your FI needs to step up and stand with you and explain EXACTLY who will be invited and why.

orangecrush32 · January 2011

Why did you delete? You were getting helpful feedback.

ckonidak · January 2011

Why the delete? :-( Thanks for quoting in your post Autumn and RiRi. Posts like this make me so thankful for both my mom and his mom. They are amazing, albeit a little under-involved if that's actually something to complain about. After reading the last few posts on this board though, I'll take what I've got over OP's mess any day. LOL

jenmitens · January 2011

Not sure since you deleted if you'll read this but, I'll try anyway.

If you want a small intimate wedding with just immediate family, they have your FI talk to his mom.

If more family members were willing to pay their own way, would that make a difference on who was invited? So it would not come out of your parents budget? Just thinking maybe she thought that more would be invited if they payed for it themselves.
Just a thought.

futuremrsl6 · April 2011

Omgosh, sorry about the delete! I meant to edit in more information and ended up deleting the entire post! Sorry about the late response; I'm such a newbie at navigating this site! Very belated thank you for the help, if any of you see this, ladies!! :-)

FMIL

Re: FMIL

Choose Another Board

Search Boards