Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Pre-wedding Parties
Pre-wedding Parties
New Discussion
Options

Location for bridal shower - who decides?

xoEmilyRosexoEmilyRose member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Pre-wedding Parties
While I'm quite early to be throwing some dates around for the bridal shower, I've been thinking in advance about how this works.

My FI's family lives about an hour away, and a lot of my family are from out of state. We have a ton of family friends here locally that would most likely make it to the shower, but I'm not sure about the out of state ones. I know it's not uncommon to have two or more wedding showers, but I'm really wanting to keep it to just one.

I've been looking at some locations online and am trying to get an idea of a decent location that isn't too far for my FI's family. So my question is, does the MOH and bridesmaids pick the location for you (since the shower is in the bride's honor) or am I able to pick the location and let them do the planning?
Wedding Countdown Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: Location for bridal shower - who decides?

  • Options
    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    The bride shouldn't plan her own shower. The MOH and BMs are not obligated to throw a shower, either. Anyone, except the bride or groom may volunteer to host a shower. The host gets to decide on the location and number of guests.
                       
    Report Reply
  • Options
    sierraberry32sierraberry32 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    I disagree... Some brides are very pushy and know what they want, so to save their "host" from making them feel bad, a Bride and Groom will plan their own shower!

    To answer your Q, Pick where you would like it to be! Just make sure it has enough room for your guests, this includes parking, and try making it somewhat easy to get to! Nobody likes confusing directions while driving in unfamiliar territory!
    ~Soon to become Mrs. O'Kane!~
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TheVirginiansTheVirginians member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_location-for-bridal-shower-who-decides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:95cb2bbd-d5c0-475e-9386-3b9a945b34f6Post:738e39ca-4f7d-41cd-b777-1d54e81ad212">Re: Location for bridal shower - who decides?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I disagree... Some brides are very pushy and know what they want, so to save their "host" from making them feel bad, a Bride and Groom will plan their own shower! To answer your Q, Pick where you would like it to be! Just make sure it has enough room for your guests, this includes parking, and try making it somewhat easy to get to! Nobody likes confusing directions while driving in unfamiliar territory!
    Posted by sierraberry32[/QUOTE]

    No to this. No to all of this. Yes to marie's post.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_location-for-bridal-shower-who-decides?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:95cb2bbd-d5c0-475e-9386-3b9a945b34f6Post:738e39ca-4f7d-41cd-b777-1d54e81ad212">Re: Location for bridal shower - who decides?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I disagree... Some brides are very pushy and know what they want, so to save their "host" from making them feel bad, a Bride and Groom will plan their own shower! To answer your Q, Pick where you would like it to be! Just make sure it has enough room for your guests, this includes parking, and try making it somewhat easy to get to! Nobody likes confusing directions while driving in unfamiliar territory!
    Posted by sierraberry32[/QUOTE]

    <div>Being pushy and knowing what you want is NO excuse for such poor manners and etiquette.  A bride never ever throws her own shower and waits for someone to offer to host it.  The host plans it and the bride attends.</div>
    Report Reply
  • Options
    xoEmilyRosexoEmilyRose member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited August 2012
    RetreadBride, I don't appreciate your rude comments to me. This was just a simple question and I just wanted to have some information because I've never been in a wedding myself before, so this whole planning thing is new to me. I was NOT planning on throwing my own shower... I was just wondering if I should research some locations that were close to both of our families. I honestly had no clue that it's up to the bridal party (or whoever is throwing the shower) to choose the location, because no one has ever told me. I didn't ask to have a shower, my MOH and BMs have been asking me what I want to do for it a few months ago and I have no clue because it's too early. Maybe I should've been clearer in my post.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited August 2012
    EmilyRose - I could be wrong, but I think Retread was responding to someone else's suggestion that if someone is a pushy bride that she is excused from basic manners.

    If your bridal party asks for your input, it's okay to make suggestions.
                       
    Report Reply
  • Options
    HobokensFuryHobokensFury member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    Emily - Retread was referring to sierra's suggestion to throw your own shower. Sorry you misunderstood.
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    I was kind of in your situation (family spread throughout the country and my mom living over 1,000 miles away), and I decided to just politely decline all showers.

    In contrast, a good friend of mine has close family/friends in 6 different states and is ending up having showers in 3 different states. Crazy.

    If you are offered one shower, it's entirely likely you could be offered several. Unfortunately, once you accept one, it's a very delicate balance to be able to decline any others without hurt feelings.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    librababylibrababy
    First Comment
    My fmil picked the location: I gave suggestions but it was not up to me and I was fine witht hat.  I didn't want anyone spending money on renting a spot but fmil found a nice local hall that was cheap.  Her and my bm are planning the shower.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
    Report Reply
  • Options
    owengirl996owengirl996 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    My hostesses (mom and BMs) all asked me for ideas on where to do it. I'm live in MA, but am from Indiana where all my friends and family are, but my husband's friends/family are from MA. So I just had a small shower with my friends and family, I didn't try to centralize anything. I honestly didn't care where it was and did not want to make a big deal about it. We ended up having it at the church my BM's mom goes to/works at. It is not vital to have everyone at your shower who will be at your wedding- I personally think smaller showers are nicer because they are more intimate.

    So in the end, only choose if you are asked- and don't be pushy about it. Just throw around ideas with whomever is hosting.
    imageAnniversary
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards