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HELP with mother/son dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soooo my fiance's mom (and dad, for that matter) is/are most likely NOT attending our wedding or reception...very long and emotional story, but it involves cultural issues, and that she is just crazy and totally non-supportive of us for a variety of reasons.  Our wedding coordinator asked me today about a traditional mother/son dance for him, and I need some advice!  He has an aunt that he is very close to, but I'm not 100% sure she'll even be at the wedding becasue of his mother (they are sisters and his mom is extremely manipulative...).  Her daughter (my fiance's cousin), is also very close to him (practically raised him and is a bit older than we are) and she will definitely be at the wedding.  OR, he could dance with my mom (she has already said she would like that if that's what he wanted).

Any thoughts?  Has anyone run into this issue and if so, how was it handled?  I think we'd be fine to not do the traditional "mother-female relative/son" dance if it stepped on toes (no pun intended!), but I kinda just want things to be equal and for him to have a chance to have that experience.  We have only casually discussed it a while ago, and I don't get the feeling that he feels too strongly about it.

Thanks for your help!

Re: HELP with mother/son dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • liz745liz745
    100 Comments
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    edited December 2011
    honestly i would just skip it, no one will notice and if they do and ask about it (which would be rude) just say since his mother could not attend we decided to not give away the honor to someone else and be done with that. You dont HAVE to have the mother/son dance.
  • pandasquishypandasquishy
    1000 Comments
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    edited December 2011
    These dances are never necessary, so really you can just skip it.
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  • kls114kls114
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    edited December 2011
    Sorry you are going through this.

    What does FI think??

    It is not necessary to do the dance at all, but if you want to & were to pick from the people listed I would say your Mom or FI's cousin.
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  • edited December 2011
    I would skip it unless your FI feels really strongly about doing it.  If that's the case, I'd go with his cousin, as she's the one who practically raised him.  Your mom, as his new MIL, would be a second pick IMO.
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  • cukimerrydollcukimerrydoll
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    edited December 2011
    You can skip it.  Most of the weddings I've been to haven't had it anyway (I didn't realize there was a mother/son dance until 2 or 3 years ago).
  • edited December 2011
    Just for the record it is an important part of the reception.  Her Dad dances with her and his cousin that raised him should dance with the fiance.  You can many songs on the internet that reflect thier relationship.  He should be included in this. Absolutely!
  • edited December 2011
    We're skipping the father-daughter dance since I'm not very close to my dad and it'd be awkward. I personally wouldn't want him to set me up with anyone else because I'd be self conscious about people pitying me. My FI will dance with his mother, but we will just naturally progress to it after our first dance without announcements. Not a huge part of the wedding day unless you make it out to be.
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