Newbie with questions! (kind of long)

PrincssGS · January 2010

Hi everyone! I'm new to the military brides board, as my fiance has just been called to active duty from IRR. He's due to report at Ft Benning on Feb 28 and our wedding is planned for August 28. He has filed for a delay/exepmption since his contract was due to expire in April and we've already made all of the deposits for our wedding. We're keeping our fingers crossed but aren't getting our hopes up that his orders will change. We're both kind of in shock, since it was soooo close to his contract being up and we had both let ourselves think that nothing would happen and his obligation was finished. Big mistake!

I want to be prepared for if and when he has to deploy. I don't know the first thing about being an army wife so I definitely have some questions! I feel like if he does deploy that I would want to get married before he left. Is this common? I know there are some financial benefits attached to this, and although we're getting by, it would really help me while he is gone. I just finished grad school and we're trying to save up for a house so I feel like the extra income would help us build up some savings. Please don't take this as I want to get married for the benefits, it would be helpful but really I just want to do it because of all of the 'what ifs' attached to deployment...I'd regret it forever if the worst happened and we didn't marry before he left. I'd like to be able to join the FRG or Wives Club for support during this time, and I don't know if that's eligible to me as a fiancee. I don't plan on relocating and since we live about 20min from Ft Belvoir (our wedding is supposed at the Officers Club there), am wondering if I'd be able to gain access and join the groups there?

Do you all have any recommendations on websites or other resources where I could find answers to all of my questions? I've learned a lot already from MarriedToTheArmy.com and have tried joining ArmyWifeChat.com for the message boards, but I can't view any of the boards or post anything. I got the email validation but I think the moderator needs to approve me as well.

TIA for any and all advice that can be given!!!!

meltoine · January 2010

Well first, congrats on your marriage! It sucks that he got activated so close to the end of his contract.

As for the wedding stuff, if he doesn't get the delay/exemption, do you have military clauses in your contracts? If not, I would call you vendors and see if they'd be willing to add them.

As for getting married before he gets deployed, a lot of people do it. Clearly you are already planning to get married, so moving up the date a little is not a big deal. It's not like you just met and are thinking, "we should get married just in case". See if your vendors have any dates available before his deployment (you may have to settle for an off day or time since it's so close, but the O club may be more flexible since they're used to this)

Also, honestly, getting married before he leaves makes a lot of sense for reasons you'd never think. Aside from the extra money, health insurance, etc... it also makes it a TON easier to take care of his finances / bills while he's gone, and you'll be able to get on base to do anything that might be necessary also. Generally, it just makes life easier. It's completely possible to get most of that stuff done without being married, it's just a lot more complicated.

Good luck!!

Newbie with questions! (kind of long)

Re: Newbie with questions! (kind of long)

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