second guessing my +ones

dmarkwardt · January 2013

Hey guys,

I thought I had everything all worked out when it came to my guest list, but after reading some posts on here I'm second guessing myself.

My fiance and I have a lot of cousins and friends who would traditionally require a plus one. Adding these guests would put another 40 people on the guest list (potentially another $5,000) that we can't afford. Our rule is 'no ring no bring' for plus ones. We are only making a few exceptions for immediate family members. After reading some posts on here, it seems like people who are in a relationship should get a plus one. If we make an exception for one friend, or one cousin, then I feel like we should make exeptions for everyone and we cant afford that. What is the proper protocol without causing drama?

KatWAG · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:3ef6cac1-2514-4903-b678-6e20a1155e7f">second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey guys, I thought I had everything all worked out when it came to my guest list, but after reading some posts on here I'm second guessing myself. My fiance and I have a lot of cousins and friends who would traditionally require a plus one. Adding these guests would put another 40 people on the guest list (potentially another $5,000) that we can't afford. Our rule is 'no ring no bring' for plus ones. We are only making a few exceptions for immediate family members. After reading some posts on here, it seems like people who are in a relationship should get a plus one. If we make an exception for one friend, or one cousin, then I feel like we should make exeptions for everyone and we cant afford that. What is the proper protocol without causing drama?
Posted by dmarkwardt[/QUOTE]

Here we go...

Your "no ring, no bring" policy is wrong. How would you feel if your Fi got invited to a wedding and you had to stay home. Pretty crappy, i bet.

Any one who has a significant other when you send out invites MUST be invited with a guest. (And you should make every effort to find out his or her name to put on the invite)

Everyone has a budget, so that really isnt an excuse. Find a place to squeeze some money . Cut the programs and favors. DJ instead of a band, etc

kipnus · January 2013

Anyone in a relationship needs to be invited with their significant other (boyfriend/girlfriend, fiance/fiancee, husband/wife, whatever the case may be). Anyone who is single does not need a plus one.

misshart00 · January 2013

In Response to Re:second guessing my ones:[QUOTE]Hey guys,I thought I had everything all worked out when it came to my guest list, but after reading some posts on here I'm second guessing myself. nbsp;My fiance and I have a lot of cousins and friends who would traditionally require a plus one. nbsp;Adding these guests would put another 40 people on the guest list potentially another 5,000 that we can't afford. nbsp;Our rule is 'no ring no bring' for plus ones. nbsp;We are only making a few exceptions for immediate family members. nbsp;After reading some posts on here, it seems like people who are in a relationship should get a plus one. nbsp;If we make an exception for one friend, or one cousin, then I feel like we should make exeptions for everyone and we cant afford that. nbsp;What is the proper protocol without causing drama? Posted by dmarkwardt[/QUOTE]

The proper protocol is to invite everyone with their significant other, no matter how long they've been together, or whether they are engaged/married or not.

Maggie0829 · January 2013

If a guest is truly single then they do not have to be given a plus one.

But if a guest is in a relationship (not just casually dating) and has made that known to others then they should be invited as a couple.

The 'no ring no bring' rule is rude because take H and I. Before we got engaged we had been together 8 years. So if you went by your rule H would not have been included on my invite just because I didn't have a ring on my finger. However, a couple who has only been together 6 months and are engaged would be invited as a social unit. By doing this you are basically judging the seriousness of peoples relationships and are coming off that since I don't have a ring on my left finger that my 8 year relationship is not serious in your eyes but the couple that does have a ring but have only known each other 6 months is serious enough.

That is why we always say that you should invite all couples whether or not they are married/engaged.

KatWAG · January 2013

Your wedding isnt for over a year. You have plenty of time to re work your budget to figure out ways to host your guests properly.

NYCMercedes · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:3ef6cac1-2514-4903-b678-6e20a1155e7f">second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey guys, I thought I had everything all worked out when it came to my guest list, but after reading some posts on here I'm second guessing myself. My fiance and I have a lot of cousins and friends who would traditionally require a plus one. Adding these guests would put another 40 people on the guest list (potentially another $5,000) that we can't afford. Our rule is 'no ring no bring' for plus ones. We are only making a few exceptions for immediate family members. After reading some posts on here, it seems like people who are in a relationship should get a plus one. If we make an exception for one friend, or one cousin, then I feel like we should make exeptions for everyone and we cant afford that. What is the proper protocol without causing drama?
Posted by dmarkwardt[/QUOTE]

What you said: "people who are in a relationship should get a plus one" is correct. In addition, if they are in a relationship, their name should be on the invitation.

misshart00 · January 2013

In Response to Re:second guessing my ones:[QUOTE]Your wedding isnt for over a year. You have plenty of time to re work your budget to figure out ways to host your guests properly. Posted by KatWAG[/QUOTE]

I didn't realize it was a year until your wedding. Other than reworking your budget, you could also cut the guest list.

Jen4948 · January 2013

If people are in permanent relationships (married, engaged, or living together-that means no 'no ring, no bring'), they get invited together-by name. Not to do so is rude and insulting.

But if they are just casually dating, you need not invite them with dates.

Maggie0829 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:94ae7097-0f6f-4bf2-8bb4-347f96647b6d">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]If people are in permanent relationships (married, engaged, or living together-that means no 'no ring, no bring'), they get invited together-by name. Not to do so is rude and insulting. But if they are just casually dating, you need not invite them with dates.
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

Or are in a serious, committed relationship but aren't living together. Just becasue two people aren't living together doesn't mean it isn't serious. H and I were together for 6 years before we started living with each other.

Simply Fated · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:3ef6cac1-2514-4903-b678-6e20a1155e7f">second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey guys, I thought I had everything all worked out when it came to my guest list, but after reading some posts on here I'm second guessing myself. My fiance and I have a lot of cousins and friends who would traditionally require a plus one. Adding these guests would put another 40 people on the guest list (potentially another $5,000) that we can't afford. Our rule is 'no ring no bring' for plus ones. We are only making a few exceptions for immediate family members. After reading some posts on here, it seems like people who are in a relationship should get a plus one. If we make an exception for one friend, or one cousin, then I feel like we should make exeptions for everyone and we cant afford that. What is the proper protocol without causing drama?
Posted by dmarkwardt[/QUOTE]
Ya gotta year to come up with that money.

My bf and I have been together for 8 years. But I promise you, we're just as committed to each other and our relationship as some married people are. We're just not legally married.

My mom and her bf have been together for about 10 years. They live together. They have zero intentions of getting married. That's their choice, but according to the rule "no ring, no bling," their relationship isn't valid enough for an invitation. The fact that they're living together and my bf and I aren't doesn't mean they're committed to each other more than me and my bf. It just means they retired and bought a house together lol.

Meanwhile, married people get divorced all the time, but they deserve an invitation more than couples who aren't married, yet? It's just not logical. There is no way to determine how serious a relationship is based on whether or not they're wearing a ring at the moment.

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:c795e629-2a0a-46c9-a09d-585bde5dd50f">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: second guessing my +ones : What is casually dating? Is that dating multiple people? Is it dating one person regularly , but not ready to give them a key to your apartment yet? How can you determine if something casual is going to lead to a ring when the people in the relationship are not sure yet? Don't judge the seriousness of people's relationships. If people consider themselves in a relationship they are in one, jewelry and house keys not withstanding.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

I'd say it's someone who hasn't married, gotten engaged, or moved in together. If someone does one of those things, it's pretty safe to assume that yes, they are a permanent couple and should be treated as such. Beyond that, as you say, who knows besides the couple? So I think that non-living together singles need not be treated as "social units." It's always nice and advisable to do so, but if one has to draw a line somewhere, this is where I'd draw it. That way I don't have to speculate on who is and isn't "serious."

PS - I'm in the same kind of relationship as you. My BF and I are not engaged and do not live together, but we've dated a long time and consider ourselves "serious." But I don't think we constitute a "social unit" and we aren't treated as one in terms of invitations.

aurianna · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:54f6bf87-16d3-4009-832e-d9dc58ec37e9">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: second guessing my +ones : I'd say it's someone who hasn't married, gotten engaged, or moved in together. If someone does one of those things, it's pretty safe to assume that yes, they are a permanent couple and should be treated as such. Beyond that, as you say, who knows besides the couple? So I think that non-living together singles need not be treated as "social units." It's always nice and advisable to do so, but if one has to draw a line somewhere, this is where I'd draw it. That way I don't have to speculate on who is and isn't "serious."
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

My husband and I only lived in the same STATE for a combined total of 2 of the 7 years we were together before we were engaged. A year of that we weren't even on the same continent.
Heck, we were married for 6 months before we finally got jobs in the same city.

But by your logic, despite being together for 7 years, because we didn't live together, we weren't committed enough? No dice.

Also, what about couples that choose not to co-habitate because of religious reasons, and wait to get engaged for personal reasons. They don't count because they don't want to shack up?

Anyone who considers themselves in a relationship is in one.

misshart00 · January 2013

In Response to Re:second guessing my ones:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: second guessing my ones:In Response to Re: second guessing my ones : What is casually dating? Is that dating multiple people? Is it dating one person regularly , but not ready to give them a key to your apartment yet? How can you determine if something casual is going to lead to a ring when the people in the relationship are not sure yet? Don't judge the seriousness of people's relationships. If people consider themselves in a relationship they are in one, jewelry and house keys not withstanding.Posted by Liatris2010I'd say it's someone who hasn't married, gotten engaged, or moved in together.nbsp; If someone does one of those things, it's pretty safe to assume that yes, they are a permanent couple and should be treated as such.nbsp; Beyond that, as you say, who knows besides the couple?nbsp; So I think that nonliving together singles need not be treated as "social units."nbsp;nbsp; It's always nice and advisable to do so, but if one has to draw a line somewhere, this is where I'd draw it.nbsp; That way I don't have to speculate on who is and isn't "serious."PS I'm in the same kind of relationship as you.nbsp; My BF and I are not engaged and do not live together, but we've dated a long time and consider ourselves "serious."nbsp; But I don't think we constitute a "social unit" and we aren't treated as one in terms of invitations. Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

What about people who choose not to live together before they're married?

Jen4948 · January 2013

I do not speculate as to how "serious" any dating couple who are not married, engaged, or living together are other than myself and my BF.

Also, as I said, it is nice and even advisable to invite such couples together. There certainly isn't an etiquette rule against it. There just isn't an etiquette rule mandating it either. When it comes to such couples, etiquette backs off precisely because it isn't possible for anyone other than the couple themselves to tell how "serious" they are.

So, this is the end of my participation in this discussion.

Simply Fated · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:54f6bf87-16d3-4009-832e-d9dc58ec37e9">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: second guessing my +ones : I'd say it's someone who hasn't married, gotten engaged, or moved in together. If someone does one of those things, it's pretty safe to assume that yes, they are a permanent couple and should be treated as such. Beyond that, as you say, who knows besides the couple? So I think that non-living together singles need not be treated as "social units." It's always nice and advisable to do so, but if one has to draw a line somewhere, this is where I'd draw it. That way I don't have to speculate on who is and isn't "serious." PS - I'm in the same kind of relationship as you. My BF and I are not engaged and do not live together, but we've dated a long time and consider ourselves "serious." But I don't think we constitute a "social unit" and we aren't treated as one in terms of invitations.
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]
That's so arbitrary.
What about couples that live together out of conveniece, but don't consider themselves as serious as other couples who don't live together because that's what's convenient for them?

My friend moved in with her bf, but that was because she worked in the area, not because she was jumping up and down with excitement to live with him.

KatWAG · January 2013

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:8b812537-d8b3-4d93-b84a-e3ead85dd618">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]I do not speculate as to how "serious" any dating couple who are not married, engaged, or living together are other than myself and my BF. Also, as I said, it is nice and even advisable to invite such couples together. There certainly isn't an etiquette rule against it. There just isn't an etiquette rule mandating it either. When it comes to such couples, etiquette backs off precisely because it isn't possible for anyone other than the couple themselves to tell how "serious" they are. So, this is the end of my participation in this discussion.
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]
You do realize you are posting on an etiquette board, correct? So etiquette doesnt ever "back off" because the whole point of etiquette is to ensure that all guests (not just social units) are comfortable and hosted properly</div>

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:1b072eff-ee58-4a38-a4ad-679167cee0cf">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: second guessing my +ones : You do realize you are posting on an etiquette board, correct? So etiquette doesnt ever "back off" because the whole point of etiquette is to ensure that all guests (not just social units) are comfortable and hosted properly
Posted by KatWAG[/QUOTE]

Of course. But I don't think that being made "comfortable" or "hosted properly" necessitates inviting a date for someone who isn't half of a social unit.

By "backing off," all I meant is that etiquette doesn't define whether or not a non-SO couple of whatever degree of "seriousness" of their relationship is a "social unit."

KatWAG · January 2013

<div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:3449bf34-3fce-4e24-b2c3-c94bac8fb7a3">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: second guessing my +ones : Of course. But I don't think that being made "comfortable" or "hosted properly" necessitates inviting a date for someone who isn't half of a social unit. By "backing off," all I meant is that etiquette doesn't define whether or not a non-SO couple of whatever degree of "seriousness" of their relationship is a "social unit."
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

You are missing the point.

It isnt for you to decide whether or not someone is a couple or social unti. Only the 2 people in the relationship get to decide how serious they are. You should decide for them by drawing some arbitary line, like living together or having a ring.</div>

[Deleted User] · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:c795e629-2a0a-46c9-a09d-585bde5dd50f">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: second guessing my +ones : What is casually dating? Is that dating multiple people? Is it dating one person regularly , but not ready to give them a key to your apartment yet? How can you determine if something casual is going to lead to a ring when the people in the relationship are not sure yet? Don't judge the seriousness of people's relationships. If people consider themselves in a relationship they are in one, jewelry and house keys not withstanding.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

To me that's the key. I have friends who are very adamant that they are NOT in a relationship with someone until a certain point - often will be willing to date other people or be open to the possibility. FI and I were in a relationship after about a week. So I think if the person defines themselves as in a relationship, they should be considered a social unit. If they do not, they are casually dating and are not a necessary social unit.

mlg78 · January 2013

Oh sweet Jesus.

Given that your wedding is a long ways out many of your single people may end up in relationships by then. Some of your relationships may also split up. It's a little too soon to be too concerned about some of this so focus on saving where you can so you can include more people in your day.

And since everyone has their definition of a social unit on here... If a couple simply refers to each other as boyfriend/girlfriend then it's not your place to judge -- they're a social unit. That's my two cents.

AddieCake · January 2013

I think it is rude to pass any kind of judgment on the seriousness of someone's relationship based on its length or "status." If a couple considers themselves to be a couple, they should be invited together.

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:66f949af-54f1-4509-82eb-f50c9e344253">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: second guessing my +ones : You are missing the point. It isnt for you to decide whether or not someone is a couple or social unti. Only the 2 people in the relationship get to decide how serious they are. You should decide for them by drawing some arbitary line, like living together or having a ring.
Posted by KatWAG[/QUOTE]

This is exactly what etiquette does and what I was suggesting above! The rule etiquette mandates is that couples who do live together or are engaged or married are invited together. That's where the rule stops. It says nothing at all about who else is invited together. It certainly doesn't say that they can't be invited together.

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:1cac6eac-5971-4549-8b74-522831c63f2b">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it is rude to pass any kind of judgment on the seriousness of someone's relationship based on its length or "status." If a couple considers themselves to be a couple, they should be invited together.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

Then someone could declare himself or herself a new "social unit" 365 days of the year if they simply announce every single day that they're a "couple" with a completely different person.

Yes, this is an extreme example, but it does show how the idea can be abused.

MrsMack10612 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:54f6bf87-16d3-4009-832e-d9dc58ec37e9">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: second guessing my +ones : I'd say it's someone who hasn't married, gotten engaged, or moved in together. If someone does one of those things, it's pretty safe to assume that yes, they are a permanent couple and should be treated as such. Beyond that, as you say, who knows besides the couple? So I think that non-living together singles need not be treated as "social units." It's always nice and advisable to do so, but if one has to draw a line somewhere, this is where I'd draw it. That way I don't have to speculate on who is and isn't "serious." PS - I'm in the same kind of relationship as you. My BF and I are not engaged and do not live together, but we've dated a long time and consider ourselves "serious." But I don't think we constitute a "social unit" and we aren't treated as one in terms of invitations.
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

I've been lurking on this thread. It's all been said, so I have nothing to really add to the topic at hand, but per the bolded:

I find it really odd that you don't consider yourself a social unit. Do you not attend functions as a couple? You clearly call him your BF, therefore you are in fact, a social unit.

ETA: I have no idea why TK is centering this. Grrrr...

aurianna · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:4df06f94-037b-471b-b71a-486370493aa1">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: second guessing my +ones : Then someone could declare himself or herself a new "social unit" 365 days of the year if they simply announce every single day that they're a "couple" with a completely different person. Yes, this is an extreme example, but it does show how the idea can be abused.
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

And the beauty of that, is if you follow proper etiquette, get your guest's SO's name, and invite that person by name, then you aren't committed to having the new "relationship" should one form after RSVPs are due.
There's a proper way to handle it.

And no, "living together" isn't the line. The line is "Are they in a comitted relationship", not "do they have rings or the same number on their mailbox".

AddieCake · January 2013

It's so extreme that it is pointless to even bring up. That isn't going to happen. And even if someone was only with someone, say, a week, I would be fine with it. My husband and I were friends 10 years before we dated and then dated a year before we got engaged. My cousin broke off an engagement to one man and became engaged to another a month later. Who has known each other/been together longer? SHE would get to bring new "fiance" but I would not be allowed to bring new "boyfriend"? That's messed up.

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:d497be80-1485-4d6e-aff4-a182b041b42f">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: second guessing my +ones : I've been lurking on this thread. It's all been said, so I have nothing to really add to the topic at hand, but per the bolded: I find it really odd that you don't consider yourself a social unit. Do you not attend functions as a couple? You clearly call him your BF, therefore you are in fact, a social unit.
Posted by kjhowd[/QUOTE]

We date each other exclusively and have been doing so for a long time. We might get engaged one day. But because my family is scattered all over the place, he hasn't met my family and I've met only his parents.

We haven't been invited to any weddings or other "social unit" functions together-it might or might not happen. But my skin is thick enough to take not being invited together, if that happens, and I think his is too.

MrsMack10612 · January 2013

So because you've had limited family introductions and have yet to be invited to something together, that doesn't make you a social unit?

If that's the way you want to roll, but I find that a very peculiar thought process.

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:8dfd2b73-a900-496f-898b-34b17a52f6d3">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]It's so extreme that it is pointless to even bring up. That isn't going to happen. And even if someone was only with someone, say, a week, I would be fine with it. My husband and I were friends 10 years before we dated and then dated a year before we got engaged. My cousin broke off an engagement to one man and became engaged to another a month later. Who has known each other/been together longer? SHE would get to bring new "fiance" but I would not be allowed to bring new "boyfriend"? That's messed up.
Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]

It's a gray area. But unfortunately, sometimes people, for whatever reason, cannot accommodate everyone with dates. Why is their own business.

Jen4948 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_second-guessing-my-ones?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:54ea745b-358a-42d7-b2b9-a5701497b299Post:fb20e2be-49ad-42d9-a09f-03f36214d32b">Re: second guessing my +ones</a>:
[QUOTE]So because you've had limited family introductions and have yet to be invited to something together, that doesn't make you a social unit? If that's the way you want to roll, but I find that a very peculiar thought process.
Posted by kjhowd[/QUOTE]

You can think whatever you like, but as noted elsewhere in this thread, all unmarried, unengaged, and living apart singles who date have their own ideas about how "serious" their relationship is and whether or not they feel like a "social unit." Some people are fine with long-term dating and don't consider themselves social units. We happen to be among them.

second guessing my +ones

Re: second guessing my +ones

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