Bridesmaids issues

chelseydunphy6 · January 2013

.Yeah, I realized afterwards what I wrote wasn't very mature. I let my emotions get the best of me! I tried to delete it, but I didnt know how. Sorry to upset everyone!

AddieCake · January 2013

She is indeed being difficult, but kicking her out is a friendship ending move, so if you do that, be prepared that you will most likely no longer be friends.

Your wedding is over a year away. You really shouldn't have picked your WP so soon, especially with such a rocky friendship to begin with. Getting the girls together to discuss colors and who is walking with whom this far out is a little premature.

OliveOilsMom · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_am-i-right-for-firing-this-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4fea91d2-6230-4dd5-886e-de323eea7740Post:d2944ad6-34ea-44aa-b14c-302e4cb355cf">Am I right for firing this bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]So Ive had this girl as a best friend since hs. Over the years our relationship has changed a bit. She can be mean to me, and rude, <strong>and has also developed somehwat of a drinking problem</strong>. shes also moved in next door to me, making it impossible to get away from her. so ive kind of just accepted the fact that shes that best friend that I cant stand but you cant help but love her like a sister. when I first got engaged, my other best friends ( they all know each other, weve all been together since hs) werent exactly there right away, but she was and makes a huge deal about it, how she is the better friend and they arent (?), but a week or so after my friends did come around and started the whole celebratory process. it was like she wanted me to hate them for not showing up at my door right away. okay.. youre probably like wtf... but hear me out. Regardless, shes been my friend for 10 years, whether it be a good friend or a bad friend. Last night she came over because the other girls were here and we were discussing some plans such as dress colors, whos walking with who, and so on and so forth. long story short she isloated herself across the room, got extremely negative and whiney very quickly "I dont want to wear blue, I want to wear yellow. I dont want to walk with josh I want to walk with mike." I calmly looked at her and maybe a little out of anger "youll do what i ask you to do, because its my wedding" she got mad, left, and soon after sent me a barrage of angry messages about how awful i am, im a b**ch, im two faced, whatever, and then i told her maybe she should just forget it and not be in the wedding? Am I wrong? Because a part of me feel like it,
Posted by chelseydunphy6[/QUOTE]

To the bolded: have you ever tried to get her help? It sounds like she may have low self-esteem and may drink to make herself feel better. This is obviously a guess, since I don't actually know her. But the way you described her wanting to be a better friend because she congratulated you right away, while your other friends did not. And also, by the way she separated herself from the group, when you say that you all have been friends. I think she is in need of some help.

Kicking her out of your wedding, will be a friendship ending move. You are over a year out. There is nothing that your BMs need to do. Don't order their dresses until less than 6 months out.

GoodLuckBear14 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_am-i-right-for-firing-this-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:4fea91d2-6230-4dd5-886e-de323eea7740Post:d2944ad6-34ea-44aa-b14c-302e4cb355cf">Am I right for firing this bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]So Ive had this girl as a best friend since hs. Over the years our relationship has changed a bit. She can be mean to me, and rude, and has also developed somehwat of a drinking problem. shes also moved in next door to me, making it impossible to get away from her. so ive kind of just accepted the fact that shes that best friend that I cant stand but you cant help but love her like a sister. when I first got engaged, my other best friends ( they all know each other, weve all been together since hs) werent exactly there right away, but she was and makes a huge deal about it, how she is the better friend and they arent (?), but a week or so after my friends did come around and started the whole celebratory process. it was like she wanted me to hate them for not showing up at my door right away. okay.. youre probably like wtf... but hear me out. Regardless, shes been my friend for 10 years, whether it be a good friend or a bad friend. Last night she came over because the other girls were here and we were discussing some plans such as dress colors, whos walking with who, and so on and so forth. long story short she isloated herself across the room, got extremely negative and whiney very quickly "I dont want to wear blue, I want to wear yellow. I dont want to walk with josh I want to walk with mike." I calmly looked at her and maybe a little out of anger <strong>"youll do what i ask you to do, because its my wedding"</strong>she got mad, left, and soon after sent me a barrage of angry messages about how awful i am, im a b**ch, im two faced, whatever, and then i told her maybe she should just forget it and not be in the wedding? Am I wrong? Because a part of me feel like it,
Posted by chelseydunphy6[/QUOTE]

The bolded part should never be said to anyone in your wedding party. "You will do it because I said so" is something you tell a difficult child.

I would put your wedding aside for the moment and concentrate on the friendship. If she has developed a drinking problem, that needs to be the main concern here, not your wedding that is a year away.

renegade gaucho · January 2013

You both sound really immature. It's probably best that this "friendship" comes to an end.

AddieCake · January 2013

OP, it was pointless to delete your post. You were quoted, so everyone can still see what you wrote. Plus, changing the title to a "period" calls attention to it and makes people want to look.

You yourself said you were worried you were wrong, and when people agreed that you were, you deleted? That makes no sense.

KatWAG · January 2013

the only reason I clicked on your post was bc I saw it was titled "." you just drew more attention to this post.

Peledreamsofrain · January 2013

The amount of immaturity storming around in OPs post is making me disappointed that the weatherman didn't notice it on doppler and warn me about it this morning. Oy vey.

chelseydunphy6 · January 2013

Yeah, I realized afterwards what I wrote wasn't very mature. I let my emotions get the best of me! I tried to delete it, but I didnt know how. Sorry to upset everyone!

Peledreamsofrain · January 2013

Listen to Retread. If your truely believe that she's becomming alcoholic, then that is the primary item of importance here. Alcoholism can kill someone where disagreeing about colors can't. Don't let your wedding overwhelm your common sense or your kindness to those you love. Your friend is a truely good one if she's struggling so hard to support you despite the hardships she's going through

Bridesmaids issues

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