Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Honeymoon Discussions
Honeymoon Discussions
New Discussion
Options

Honeymoon as much as the Wedding!

miranda hollymiranda holly member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Honeymoon Discussions
We have booked an amazing 2 week honeymoon to the south pacific.  It however, is costing ALMOST as much as our wedding.  We are doing a elegant yet budget friendly DIY wedding for under 10K. 

The problem is, when most people find out where we will be honeymooning, they make remarks that I take offence to.  Some people think we are being selfish spending so much money on ourselves for after the wedding, and think guests shouldn't contribute gifts or money to our wedding.  My FH wants to keep the honeymoon quiet due to this, because he doesn't want people's preceptions bothering me. 

Any advice what to say to people when they have negative input on our honeymoon plans?
Wedding Countdown Ticker
Report Reply to Post

Re: Honeymoon as much as the Wedding!

  • Options
    JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited December 2012
    We also went to the South Pacific and it was expensive!  Nobody should be sticking their head in your financial decisions, however I understand what you're going through.  We would usually tell people we've been saving hard and long for this once in a lifetime trip to celebrate our marriage.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Summer2011BrideSummer2011Bride member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Yeah, people are rude to make those comments. It is your prerogative how you delegate your money. As long as you are properly hosting your guests (offering a full meal if it's at a meal time, etc), then I see no problem with taking an expensive HM and having a more budget-friendly wedding. I would rather spend more money on travel than parties as well!

    I wouldn't hide where you're going on your HM but probably wouldn't boast about it either (not that you are!) just to keep the naysayers at bay. If asked, be honest about it and if anyone offers rude comments, either ignore or say something like PP suggested: you've been saving for this dream trip for years and are excited to finally take it.


    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Vacation
    Report Reply
  • Options
    dazyabbeydazyabbey
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment
    People made similar comments to us. Specifically my mother-in-law. We didn't wnat a huge fancy wedding though and we were really looking forward to our honeymoon more than our wedding honestly. I think you should just prepare a basic answer like PP said.

    "Oh don't worry! We have been saving and working hard so we can go on a great honeymoon and we can't wait to take our first trip as newlyweds" or something like that.

    image
    06.09.2012

    Report Reply
  • Options
    MrsGandthebeagMrsGandthebeag member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    OMG, who the hell makes comments like that?  That is so rude.  
    Report Reply
  • Options
    mmccolpinmmccolpin
    First Comment
    you just got married!  make yourselves happy!  you can't put a price on celebrating your lives together.  People with those remarks are just jealous.  I can honestly say that I'm a little jealous lol  Have a wonderful time on your honeymoon, you deserve it!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    VJones1981VJones1981 member
    First Comment
    We are experiencing the same thing. Our wedding budget was set around 10000 as well. A lot of people are saying we are crazy to go on an expensive honeymoon, but some of those same people spent 3 to 5 times as much on their wedding. I wouldn't choose to spend that much on a one day party, but they can spend their money however they want. Other people's finances are none of my business, just like my finances are none of theirs. I think the way pp worded it is perfect.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • Options
    jemmini6jemmini6 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment First Anniversary
    Unfortunately, some people will judge how you spend your money no matter what the occassion.  You can't let it get to you, you work hard to earn your money, you shouldn't have to apologize for how you chose to spend it.
    Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • Options
    monkeysipmonkeysip member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Who does that?  Who thinks it is okay to comment on how people spend money on their weddings and honeymoons?

    That's so bizarre to me.  The only person who should be concerned with this is YOU.  Only you know whether you are spending money responsibly and caring enough for your guests.


    SaveSave
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    That is just completely out of line! I went to the South Pacific for both of my HMs (married twice) and while my first wedding was quite elaborate, so my HM (French Polynesia) wasn't as much as the wedding, my second HM (Australia) was WAY more than my wedding. I was very open about our HM plans, except costs, both times around and noone ever commented anything to me, so I don't understand how they are figuring that your HM will cost more than the wedding. I say that if tell someone your plans and they comment on it, just tell them that you are taking your dream honeymoon and that you are both looking forward to it immensly. Actually, you shouldn't have to say anything at all, but just responding with positive remarks will shut people up.

     







    Report Reply
  • Options
    SFGirl530SFGirl530
    First Comment
    I mainly lurk over here because I hate the formatting of this website, but I just have to ask - what are your plans for dinner and bar at your reception?  Are you hosting a bar?  Are you providing a full meal?  Is there entertainment (DJ, band, etc.)?  No one cares about floral arrangements and invitations and the like, but if you're scrimping on the elements that would make your wedding enjoyable to guests, I think people have every right to question your decision to spend $$$ on a honeymoon.  Remember that guests take time out of their lives to come celebrate with you - some will fly long distances and spend a lot of money to be there.  You don't want to look like a poor host / hostess.

    Yes, a wedding is about the bride and groom, but it's also about being a good host and hostess if you're the ones throwing the party.  If you throw a party and don't provide food, drink, and entertainment for guests, it ends up (IMO) looking more like a desperate drive to get presents.  If you've got those covered well, then who cares about the rest of it?  At that point in time, you can simply say, 'We wanted to ensure our guests have a good time, but didn't feel that a lot of extraneous wedding fluff was needed.  We're going to eat, drink, and dance, and then H and I are going to go relax on our honeymoon.'

    But if I was eating chicken fingers and paying for my own drinks, knowing you were shelling out just as much money for your vacation but couldn't be bothered to host a proper reception, I'd be seriously ticked.   
    Vacation
    Report Reply
  • Options
    km1204km1204 member
    First Comment
    Have you considered the DR? Depending on where you are flying from it can be super affordable. We stayed at an all-inclusive called Lifestyles. Had an awsome vacation. Great because it had quiet areas as well as bars and clubs. We even went waterfalling. This is the site we went through. They were great.
    http://www.lifestyleholidaysvacation.com/
    Tell them Kathleen sent you. They should remember us since our trip was not that long ago. Good luck!
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards