Engagement/wedding ring help!

MissusB13 · December 2011

Okay, my boyfriend and I are getting married simply and quickly in a courthouse before he's deployed to Afghanistan, then having an actual ceremony when he gets back (I get to plan everything while he's gone lol), so my question is this: What's the difference between the engagement and wedding rings? Is one just the band you add to the engagement ring? I planned on just using my engagement ring at the courthouse then bringing the wedding ring in during the ceremony when he comes back. Can you do that? I'm new to everything weddings and really have no one around to help, so I'm so relieved this site exists c:

ElleB87 · December 2011

your actual ceremony is when you get married at the courthouse, anything else is a vow renewal.

MissusB13 · December 2011

So I can't hold off on the wedding band until our vow renewal? I still don't know what the difference between the rings are either. Thanks for the help.

Ash61612 · December 2011

the differnce between the 2 rings: engagement ring is the ring he gives you when he proposes to you. The wedding band is the ring he puts on your finger at the wedding ceremony. In your case, it would be at the ceremony at the courthouse. The ceremony you have when he gets back, is a vow renewal. You would already be married since you got married at the court house.

cebrady89 · January 2012

PP is right about the rings. Normally, you shouldn't have a ceremony and reception after you already got married, as it would be considered a vow renewal. In the case of military weddings, I don't see a problem in having your wedding after the deployment. Good luck planning, I thank your fiancé for his service

mcskatcat · January 2012

My brother and his wife were married shortly before he deployed to Iraq. She just had a nice wedding band - but it has a large square stone, and I'm not sure a second band would complement it. FYI, they also didn't have an "actual ceremony" as you like to call it and they have never regretted the small wedding and ceremony they did host. If you're worried about the legal issues, you can have him sign POA before he leaves.

ginadog · January 2012

You don't HAVE to have a wedding band. I want just one ring, so I'll take my engagement ring off the day of, and he'll use that same ring in the ceremony.

People are not a fan of redo weddings on here. They feel you cannot do things over unless you get divorced in between!

MissusB13 · January 2012

It's pretty obvious people here aren't fans of re-do weddings lol I wasn't trying to imply that our courthouse wedding was anything less than an actual wedding and I know that we'll be legally married on that day. The vow-renewal when he comes home is mostly so we can invite all our families and friends. I wasn't trying to offend people, I was just asking a question. Thank you for the answers, and I will enjoy my Pretty Princess Day when it comes.

MissusB13 · January 2012

Thanks for the link and the luck but, contrary to what I assume is popular opinion on here, I'm still going to plan our vow-renewal like a wedding and, tacky or not, I'll be sporting a wedding gown. Thanks for explaining the rings, those who actually explained them, and thanks everyone else for reminding me why I never post in forums.

thejucheidea · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_engagementwedding-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:a1f2512d-b247-4ab8-82da-9ceb5f6a763bPost:b1c2c281-ca6e-4373-a397-8db5208a3d22">Re: Engagement/wedding ring help!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the link and the luck but, contrary to what I assume is popular opinion on here, I'm still going to plan our vow-renewal like a wedding and, tacky or not, I'll be sporting a wedding gown. Thanks for explaining the rings, those who actually explained them, and thanks everyone else for reminding me why I never post in forums.
Posted by MissusB13[/QUOTE]

<a href="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/0/5/a0114650-2528-426f-a519-45a5ed9871ac.large.png" title="Click to view a larger photo" class="PhotoLink"> <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/images/store/0/5/a0114650-2528-426f-a519-45a5ed9871ac.medium.png" alt="" /></a>
bawwwwwww

Wonder28 · January 2012

I say it's your day (or days) so whatever works best for you, go for it! My fiance' and I actually considered eloping and then just having the actual big wedding and reception later on. You won't be struck with lightning or anything if you hold the ceremony twice, LOL So don't worry! I would think it'd be just fine to use the engagement ring for the quick ceremony and then add a band for the more elaborate version later on.

wineo929 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_engagementwedding-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:a1f2512d-b247-4ab8-82da-9ceb5f6a763bPost:2eb5f2fa-57d0-4fbe-b5e8-80b9661ddc1f">Re: Engagement/wedding ring help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I say it's your day (or days) so whatever works best for you, go for it! My fiance' and I actually considered eloping and then just having the actual big wedding and reception later on. <strong>You won't be struck with lightning or anything if you hold the ceremony twice</strong>, LOL So don't worry! I would think it'd be just fine to use the engagement ring for the quick ceremony and then add a band for the more elaborate version later on.
Posted by Wonder28[/QUOTE]

<div>This! Your family and friends are the only ones that matter and as long as they're groovy with the plan, then go for it! I have a friend who had a small private ceremony and is planning a vow renewal next July. Last time I checked she'll be sporting a gown. Her family and friends will love her no matter what :)</div>

redheadfsu · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_engagementwedding-ring?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:a1f2512d-b247-4ab8-82da-9ceb5f6a763bPost:2eb5f2fa-57d0-4fbe-b5e8-80b9661ddc1f">Re: Engagement/wedding ring help!</a>:
[QUOTE]I say it's your day (or days) so whatever works best for you, go for it! My fiance' and I actually considered eloping and then just having the actual big wedding and reception later on. You won't be struck with lightning or anything if you hold the ceremony twice, LOL So don't worry! I would think it'd be just fine to use the engagement ring for the quick ceremony and then add a band for the more elaborate version later on.
Posted by Wonder28[/QUOTE]

Except that calling the second thing a wedding is very offensive to JOP brides. As you are basically saying that the JOP isn't a wedding.

I eloped and had a JOP. It was a wedding, to infer otherwise is very offensive.

neene112 · January 2012

First of all thank you FI for all that he has done for us. I think the difference between the rings have already been addressed. One thing that I suggest you consider is having two wedding bands. One for the JOP ceremony and one for the post deployment ceremony. These rings could be sandwiched around your e-ring

ETA: If you plan this early you can also get something funky and interesting.

JNwedding31 · January 2012

Don't take it personally. I got yelled at for asking a question on here about proposing to my bridesmaids. I was told I was making a bigger deal of it than it is, yet I think it's a great way to ask my friends to be my Bridesmaids (a thoughtful proposal rather than just casually asking- that works for me, while it may not work for others.. nothing wrong with that). After seeing the answers I realized every bride & situation is different- do what's right for you. Obv if you have questions about tradition or appropriateness, ask... just take the answers with a grain of salt. Some of these brides apparently have a copyrighted bible of wedding rules that they think we must follow & when we disobey the rules, they jump all over us lol. Do what you want, you are not inferring anything.. and tacky or not it's your life & your wishes. You're doing what works for your situation. You don't have to follow the norm on everything. (I am learning that since I've been reading many of the posts here lol). Now that your ring question is answered, you can disregard the rest

You're in a very special circumstance that most brides cannot understand. They are lucky to be with their fiance's/husbands every day, unlike you- your hunny is making a sacrifice to serve this country. I would love to see them handle this situation with grace and patience, like you. They had their pretty princess day without worrying about their hunnies being deployed or away, and so you can have your PPD any way that works for you!

Also- don't rule out these boards altogether- there are some really helpful, sweet, non-confrontational brides on here willing to help. I think the ladies in the military section would be much more understanding of your posts. Enjoy & congrats to you both!

Happy Pretty Princess Day!

jeevansathi · January 2012

There has to be one ring only, the wedding band which he would give you at the time of taking vows. As said by Ash61612 , the other ring could be the ring which he gives you at the time of proposal.

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Engagement/wedding ring help!

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