Telling someone you WERE going to include them in the wedding party???

Re: Telling someone you WERE going to include them in the wedding party???

• em01092 member

  

  January 2012

  I wouldn't say anything at this point. I guess it wouldn't hurt but I'd just let it go. 

  
  

  FTR, uneven sides are very common and popular now. There is no necessary reason that you must have even sides. 
  

  
  

  
  

  April Siggy Challenge-Wedding Escape: Reading HG/dreaming about Peeta.... Bio-Updated 4/22**

  Report0 Reply
• meganb1977 member

  

  January 2012

  I wouldn't say anything either, just let the things you say and do let you know you feel close to her and value the relationship.

  Whoever said it was supposed to be happily ever after is a big fat liar.

  Report0 Reply
• Simply Fated member

  

  January 2012

  What's the point in saying anything? If you wanted to make her a bridesmaid, you still could have. Dont be so hung up on even sides. It's never a big deal.

  
  

  Report0 Reply
• vicki0508 member

  

  January 2012

  I hope you thanked your lucky stars that the groomsman is being deployed so your sides are even!  That was almost a disaster!!  What a sigh of relief.

  Planning Bio
  

  Report0 Reply
• zitiqueen member

  

  January 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_telling-someone-were-going-include-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:8e457c75-4c88-4df4-a2f5-2488bf1ae64fPost:c526d2cb-edd6-433e-a5e9-f4744d9d55db">Telling someone you WERE going to include them in the wedding party???</a>:
  [QUOTE]I am really close with my cousin.  She got married about 5 years ago and I was in her wedding.  I wanted her to be in my wedding also, but was waiting due to my fiance debating on his groomsmen. (wanted an even number) Right when I was going to ask her, she called to tell me she was pregnant and due right before my wedding, and she was so upset she couldn't make it.  I was REALLY bummed too, moreso because I wanted her to be included or at least know that I wanted her there.  Now everytime she asks how the wedding is coming along she tells me how much she's going to miss being there and I feel guilty.  I want her to know I wanted her as a bridesmaid, but is that tacky to say after the fact??  Should I tell her?  What do I say?  I don't want her to feel guilty either.<strong>  p.s. that week one of the groomsmen found out he'd be deployed, so number is evened up again :/
  </strong>Posted by alesiak12[/QUOTE]
  
  Thank God! After all, your wedding won't be legal if you don't have an even number of bridesmaids and goormsmen.

  Report0 Reply
• alesiak12

  

  January 2012

  Wow! Vicki, edie, and zitiqueen are a bit catty today!   I think you're also missing the point that I wanted her to feel special and if she wasn't having a baby within that time, she would be there as a bridesmaid.  You seem caught up on the fact that I prefer even numbers.  I am not celebrating the fact that a groomsmen is being deployed, I am just thinking maybe everything happens for a reason and I should let it be.   

  Report0 Reply
• em01092 member

  

  January 2012

  Ok just let it be. Telling her you would have asked her to be a BM if she hadn't been pregnant is just sort of pointless and may even make her feel bad. I know that's not what you mean but she may take it that way. She also may be hurt you didn't ask regardless, since brides ask pregnant women to be BMs all the time. Babys can come early/late and they make maternity dresses. 

  April Siggy Challenge-Wedding Escape: Reading HG/dreaming about Peeta.... Bio-Updated 4/22**

  Report0 Reply
• pretzelgrrl member

  

  January 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_telling-someone-were-going-include-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:8e457c75-4c88-4df4-a2f5-2488bf1ae64fPost:14df9501-75f0-401b-8863-d496da2ef184">Re: Telling someone you WERE going to include them in the wedding party???</a>:
  [QUOTE]Ok just let it be. Telling her you would have asked her to be a BM if she hadn't been pregnant is just sort of pointless and may even make her feel bad. I know that's not what you mean but she may take it that way. She also may be hurt you didn't ask regardless, since brides ask pregnant women to be BMs all the time. Babys can come early/late and they make maternity dresses. 
  Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]
  
  I don't think she didn't ask her because she was pregnant she didn't ask her because her firend already told her she wouldn't be able to make it to the wedding.
  
  What if you made her an honory bridesmaid in the program?

  

  Report0 Reply
• Summer2011Bride member

  

  January 2012

  Don't say anything. And FWIW, a BM of mine was due right around my wedding. I asked her to be a BM and she was in my wedding. Had she had to drop out right before due to an early delivery or bed rest, etc., she just wouldn't have attended. If SHE said she didn't want to be in it due to her pregnancy, then OK, but otherwise you could have still asked her and let her decide. Since you didn't, I wouldn't bring it up now.
  
  And also, it's ridiculous to be so hung up on even sides. Why do people even want them anyhow? Guests don't notice or care. It's common to have uneven sides. What if someone gets sick at the last minute? Are you going to have a random person stand in so as not to have uneven sides?

  
  
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• alesiak12

  

  January 2012

  The issue is not with her being pregnant, I honestly wouldn't care.  She is due the week of my wedding and is unable to fly out for my destination wedding.  That's the problem.  But I'll just let it be, thank you for your response!

  Report0 Reply