Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Moms and Maids
Moms and Maids
New Discussion
Options

Maid of Honor can't afford dress when it is time to order

rknox88rknox88
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
3 months ago I talked individually with each of my bridesmaids to figure out their dress budget.  They are all in school and each said they could afford $100 or less.  The dresses I liked are from Bari Jay and I can get them from Pearl's Place for $120 each.  Since they are $20 over each maid's budget I said I would pay the difference and the shipping and handling charges.

2 months ago I told each girl I would be placing the order with Pearl's Place on December 3rd and would need their $100 at that time. I offered to postpone the order date if any girl thought that date would be an issue financially.  No one said it would be an issue so I planned on that date.

I know that is right around the holidays but I need to get the dresses ordered around that time for them to be shipped and arrive with enough time to have alterations done.

My MOH told me yesterday she wouldn't be able to order the dress until Feb. which will be cutting it close for delivery by the wedding date. She cited that she didn't have the money since it was so close to Christmas.  This irks me because I let her know the price 3 months ago and when I would need her money 2 months ago.  What should I do? I have outlined possible solutions below:

1. order her dress on the 3rd with the other girl's and have her pay me $100 when she is able.

2. Have her order her dress when she has the finances and she will need to pay the full price and the S&H since it is a separate order from the other 3.

3. Have her order the dress when she has the finances but I still pay the extra $20 and S&H like I said I would when I thought I would be ordering all 4 dresses at the same time.

This isn't really that big of a deal. Honestly, I don't care too much I just want to know the best way to handle the situation.
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Report Reply to Post

Re: Maid of Honor can't afford dress when it is time to order

  • Options
    1ofThoseDays1ofThoseDays
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If I were you, I'd pay for it and just let her pay me back later, but only if you can afford it without breaking yourself.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • Options
    heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you don't care too much about the situation, and you can easily afford to, I'd go with the first option. It seems the most stress-free to me, but if money is going to be a problem for you then I'd go with option three, since it will still fit in with the original budget she gave you (even though it's annoying of her to agree and then not follow through, but things do happen).
    Report Reply
  • Options
    aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would also just order it now for your own peace of mind and plan on having her pay you back.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the other ladies either do option 1 or 3. If you have manage enough to cover her now, then just do it for your own peace of mind. If you can't then option 3.

    Try not to get to annoyed with your friend. The holidays are ALWAYS tight for people finances and I always recommend Brides either order 2 months before or after the holidays just because when it comes to sudden financial changes it is usually the holidays that most effect people. 
    Report Reply
  • Options
    TheKnittingJediTheKnittingJedi member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The first option sounds like the best for everybody. It's frustrating that she is now telling you that she can't afford it after all the notice you gave her, but good for you for handling it so that you keep the peace. Good luck!
    "Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." - Albert Einstein
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Let her order it in Feb.  Dye lots are a fiction since the colors are calibrated digitally, and as long as she has it by the wedding, it shouldn't matter how long before the wedding she gets it.  If that means an extra $20 S&H, that's her problem, not yours.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    midgemotomidgemoto
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Be a friend and order it... She is your maid of Honor ...If she can pay you back she will... You had better have at least that much trust between the two of you at this point for heavens sake.  
    In the scale of a wedding this is really small.. 
    just get it done...
    Report Reply
  • Options
    kimp67kimp67 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with the pps that said to order it yourself, that's what I would do.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Habs2HartHabs2Hart member
    Combo Breaker First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011

    Ditto PPs.  Order it yourself.  If she can even pay you back slowly I'm sure it's way less stress for all involved and she'd be very grateful to you. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Options
    sister2groomsister2groom
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You could try Option 2B: Let her order it and pay S&H, but give her the extra $20 (that way you'd be spending exactly what you said you would). But I would tell her now how her choice to order later will affect what she spends.

    Report Reply
  • Options
    phillychica85phillychica85 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I completely agree with the others about ordering it yourself. You will cut down on SO much stress. If she pays you back, she pays you back. But maybe since she is your MOH and not just a BM, maybe that could even be your gift to her. A nice way of saying thanks, just a thought. But one thing I found when planning my wedding, do things yourself if at all possible.
    My travel and cooking blog

    image
    Maui, November 2011
    Report Reply
  • Options
    bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_maid-of-honor-cant-afford-dress-time-order?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:7b35c0c5-407b-4c47-9046-5e49993a8b68Post:d28001cf-664d-4305-8e43-bdce9ac87fb3">Re: Maid of Honor can't afford dress when it is time to order</a>:
    [QUOTE]Babling, that's not true. Dye lots can vary tremendously.  I sew, and matching fabrics can be a pain in the rear.....if possible at all.   Harsh experience has taught me to buy more fabric than I'll need.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
    By and large, that hasn't been the case in recent years, particularly for national brand BM dresses.  
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm only a casual sew person (do a few projects a year) but I notice that it's more cotton fabric that a dye lot can be a tad different (specially blacks and blues). When it comes to more shiny fabric like satin and other Bridal type of fabric it's very hard to tell if the shade is off. I think that with the capacity computers have now compared to 5 years ago have really eliminated a lot of dye shade problems (at least I have notice with cotton).  
    Report Reply
  • Options
    filawfilaw member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A coworker of mine just a few months ago showed me pictures from a wedding she had just been a BM in, in order to point out to me how dramatically dye lots can vary.  It was shockingly noticeable.  I don't know, however, how "main" a chain these dresses were from.

    However likely it is or isn't, it seems like a potential stress that the OP can very easily avoid if she's willing to put up the money for her friends' dress.  I would probably take option 1 in order to avoid the worry altogether.  It also sounds like there would be extra shipping costs if the OP made two separate orders.  If that's the case, I certainly don't see why the OP should have to swallow those extra costs.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    SeptemberFall2011SeptemberFall2011 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    As I am coordinating the dress orders I have agreed (along with my bridesmaids and flower girls' mom) to pay the deposit for the dress when it comes to order and they can pay as they can when they can.  The same goes for the balance.

    Just check with MOH that it works for her.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards