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Engaged as a sophmore

Hi everyone, I'm a sophmore... In highschool. Before you make any assumptions, I'm not pregnant or any other cliche/stereotype that you may be coming up with. I wanted to know if there's anyone else like me out there. To give you some background, I'm a Christian who will be entering into ministry with my fiance in three years when we get married. Also, my fiance is eighteen years old and currently in the Calvary Chapel School of Worship. We've been together for a little over a year now. I'm not going to lie, it's very difficult to be in the position that I'm in and not be lonely because of how people tend to receive such news, so is there anyone out there who's in a similar situation? I'd love to hear about your story and share some more of my fiance and I's own.
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Re: Engaged as a sophmore

  • I'm with Raven on this one - why get engaged now?

    I just got engaged at 22, and even that's still young. I hate to think about what might have happened if I decided to get married to the boy I was dating when I was 15 *shudders*. The girl I was then is nothing like the woman I am now.

    The years between 15 and 22 were very formative for me. I partied my face off, went to university. I learned who I was. Set some solid goals, learned how to work hard. I accomplished a bunch of goals: Moved out on my own, travelled a bit (more to come), bought a house. I got engaged. Pretty much in that order, with a bunch of other stuff in between. Don't deny yourself of those experiences because you're tied down to your fiance. I did lose myself for a while around 18-19 because I was so devoted to FI (BF at the time). I'm getting my own life back now, and I wish I'd figured that out sooner.
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  • I think that people are giving you negative reactions because you and your FI will both change SOOO much between now and when you graduate high school and then throughout your years in college and/or first few years in the work force.

    IMHO, I think that high school should definitely be a time where you are concentrating the most on growing as an individual. Not to say that you can't have a relationship, but it is sometimes easier to stifle your growth when you're in a serious relationship.

    Why not just date, get to know each other and live your lives for the next 3 years and then start planning a future together?
    And if the stormy weather came...I'd just kiss you in the rain... Daisypath Anniversary tickers image
  • Maybe a more detailed explanation of my fiance and I is called for. My fiance and I got together on November 14th of 2010 after a very good amount of prayer. We hadn't brought up conversation about any kind of feelings for each other before, but God was leading us in the same direction all the while. Really, that night was when we became "betrothed" and started courting. That was the night where we said that God had made it clear that we were supposed to be together for the rest of our lives and were obedient to that. So, we got together knowing that we were heading for marriage and then very gradually fell in love. I was fourteen and he was seventeen. Now, I don't think that we would have been led there if God wasn't ready to form us into the people that He had made us to be, and it just so happens that we were made to be together and to serve God together. My fiance and I have no interest in "partying it up" or "seeing what works for us". We lost any interest in indulging in the human flesh when we came together because there was no emptiness to fill. We are happy and satisfied in a way that is so incandescently wonderful. That satisfaction and happiness definitely points to something being done right. I haven't "lost myself", but rather found where I'm called to be. Just to show that this really wasn't about the typical teen attraction, we didn't even hold hands until May 1st and we shared our first kiss ten days before our first anniversary... after we were already engaged and after we knew that it was no longer something that convicted us. This probably reveals nothing to anyone who isn't a Christian, but if this did help anyone understand what we're actually about a little bit more, then great.
  • I understand what you're saying. If your family and his family support your decison I think that's what really important. You want to be able to share your happiness with them. Have they been negative as well, or just your peers?
  • Yeah, it's a wonderful thing to be able to share our happiness. With my parents, they support us, they just don't necessarily understand us. Really, it's a humorous dynamic more than anything else. His parents are really our biggest source of support. I'm very thankful for them.

    The reaction from our peers tends to vary. It's not something that we bring up for attention or simply for the sake of people knowing, but when we do people are either really happy for us or they think we're completely crazy. Honestly, I couldn't care less either way haha. We're in no position to allow the influence of others shape us against what God's doing with us. If people are happy for us it's definitely a nice little bonus though.
  • What are you all planning to do when you graduate?
  • Well, if it's necessary, I have no problem with getting a job, but as of now, the plan is to get married on the November after I graduate and then we'll be moving to Texas and I'll be a homemaker. My fiance and I will be entering into some sort of ministry together as well. He's currently in a school of ministry that trains worship leaders. If you're wondering why Texas, it's just where we feel we're supposed to be. It'll definitely be a big change from living in Southern California my entire life haha. Smile
  • I understand, I think that's sweet. But shew, that will be difficult to move away from your family like that....SO FAR! ha. But I just love your story. :)
  • Aww! Thank you so much. Smile

    Yeah, the move will definitely be a little difficult, but I'm actually really excited and there's a very good chance that his parents will also be moving to Texas around the same time as us, and some of my family lives in Texas as well. If I think about it, it would be especially difficult to be so far away from my future sister-in-law. She's two years old and she's the apple of my eye. His mom is also expecting another teeny tiny blessing this April, and I can't imagine not being around to see him or her grow up. So, God's definitely catered to our needs haha. Smile
  • OK so if you are so secure in your relationship why do other people's thoughts and comments matter?  Because they shouldn't if you are as secure as you claim you are.  Being in a young relationship (especially how young you are) is going to be hard and people are going to judge.  Heck when I got engaged there were people on my board who I felt weren't thrilled for me because they think I am too young.  But that is fine.  I don't need their approval to live my life.  Look you are so young.  I am judging you, I know through God all things are possible but it seems really odd to me that a 17 year old would be interested in a 14 year old.  In fact I am a little disturbed by it.  But you know what, that is my opinion and it doesn't matter if you choose to not let it have power over you.  So learn to just let it slide off your back.  GL I really do hope things work out for you.

    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • Well, if you read what I've actually typed, you'll see that I didn't post this for people's opinions and advice for our relationship. I posted this to see if there was anyone in a similar situation. So, technically, you don't belong in this conversation to begin with, but please stay and learn something if you'd like. As for my relationship being disturbing to you, I certainly don't want to serve a God who isn't capable of setting something like that up simply because of how culture views it. My God doesn't work with culture because He, unlike culture, is unchanging. Culture is relative to time, and because God isn't, I don't think it's valid to worry about such things and be preoccupied with them. I strongly believe that we are called to be so heavenly minded that we're no earthly good; it certainly doesn't make much sense to try to be relatable to evil. I'm not saying that to be engaged or married when you aren't young is wrong, I'm saying that man has no place in sorting out his own destiny either way. For your sake, I truly do hope that this has shed some light on this topic for you. Smile

  • Ugh... I can't even respond to this. I really do hope this works out for you, however.
    And if the stormy weather came...I'd just kiss you in the rain... Daisypath Anniversary tickers image
  • I was in your situation. I wasn't technically engaged as a sophomore in high school but we had been dating for a year or so and we were seriously considering it. We knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Flash forward to when I was 20 (I'm 27 now, for reference) and he proposed. After a little over a year of being engaged, I broke it all off.  I flushed a 7 year relationship down the toilet. Why? We grew up to be different people.

    In the end, he was clingy and controlling. I felt suffocated. I felt immense dread upon seeing his car pull into the driveway when he came home from work. I still flinch at the phrase "What did you do today?"

    I'm sure at the end, I was no picnic either. 

    From 15 to 20 I changed a lot, and from 20 to 27 I've changed even more. And I hope to continue to grow more as a person, just not with the rapid growth of my early 20s.
  • Alright, I'll bite. When I was 16 I met the love of my life. I was a junior in high school. We got engaged after about a year of dating when I was 17. I had to deal with people's judgements and odd looks for a while. And I said what you did, "but we're meant for each other!". For personal reasons, we made it a long engagement until I was 21 (I wanted to be able to enjoy a drink at my wedding).

    It lasted a whopping 13 months. We had both changed so much in those years, but refused to see it because we were just meant to be. Truth is, God sent him in to my life to teach me a few lessons. To help mold me in to the person I've become. I've since been able to grow as a woman so much. I've lived on my own, I've been a single mom, I've gone to school, and I've got an amazing career. I never would have gotten there without having gone through that trainwreck of a marriage.

    No one is judging you. I'm with ravenray on this one. Why the rush to be engaged now? If you're waiting until you graduate, then just wait until then to get engaged. I hope you are shocked by how much you change in the next few years as you continue to grow as your own person. I'm not saying you need to go out and party every night or "indulge in the human flesh" I'm just saying, take some time to be sure this is what you really want out of life.

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  • Raven - I agree that a 17 year old boy dating a 14 year old girl is disturbing.  I actually find most of this thread quite disturbing...
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    "Life is not orderly. No matter how we try to make life so, right in the middle of it we die, lose a leg, fall in love, drop a jar of applesauce." - Natalie Goldberg
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_engaged-sophmore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:90ceca50-7069-467a-8c62-650d903099c0Post:28537e1c-29c2-4913-bee7-b6e09aa15540">Re: Engaged as a sophmore</a>:
    [QUOTE]Raven - I agree that a 17 year old boy dating a 14 year old girl is disturbing. <strong> I actually find most of this thread quite disturbing...</strong>
    Posted by SKP82[/QUOTE]

    Me too. FI just asked what was wrong. He said, "you have your 'disgusted' face on"

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_engaged-sophmore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:90ceca50-7069-467a-8c62-650d903099c0Post:9e24998c-1260-4e93-9d8b-7f93f1034ad8">Re: Engaged as a sophmore</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, if you read what I've actually typed, you'll see that I didn't post this for people's opinions and advice for our relationship. I posted this to see if there was anyone in a similar situation. So, technically, you don't belong in this conversation to begin with,
    <strong>FYI, anyone can post anywhere he/she would like to and provide any input  to a thread</strong> <strong>he/she wants. When you post on a site like this you are opening yourself (and your situation) to any number of responses, they don't have to be just ones that you like.</strong>
    but please stay and learn something if you'd like.
    <strong>*eyebrow raise* The condescending tone to someone giving you advice doesn't really scream "I'm mature enough to be thinking about marriage".</strong>
    As for my relationship being disturbing to you, I certainly don't want to serve a God who isn't capable of setting something like that up simply because of how culture views it. My God doesn't work with culture because He, unlike culture, is unchanging. Culture is relative to time, and because God isn't, I don't think it's valid to worry about such things and be preoccupied with them. I strongly believe that we are called to be so heavenly minded that we're no earthly good; it certainly doesn't make much sense to try to be relatable to evil. I'm not saying that to be engaged or married when you aren't young is wrong, I'm saying that man has no place in sorting out his own destiny either way. For your sake, I truly do hope that this has shed some light on this topic for you.
    Posted by emplatacis[/QUOTE]


  • ravenrayravenray member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_engaged-sophmore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:90ceca50-7069-467a-8c62-650d903099c0Post:9e24998c-1260-4e93-9d8b-7f93f1034ad8">Re: Engaged as a sophmore</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, if you read what I've actually typed, you'll see that I didn't post this for people's opinions and advice for our relationship. I posted this to see if there was anyone in a similar situation. So, technically, you don't belong in this conversation to begin with, but please stay and learn something if you'd like. As for my relationship being disturbing to you, I certainly don't want to serve a God who isn't capable of setting something like that up simply because of how culture views it. My God doesn't work with culture because He, unlike culture, is unchanging. Culture is relative to time, and because God isn't, I don't think it's valid to worry about such things and be preoccupied with them. I strongly believe that we are called to be so heavenly minded that we're no earthly good; it certainly doesn't make much sense to try to be relatable to evil. I'm not saying that to be engaged or married when you aren't young is wrong, <strong>I'm saying that man has no place in sorting out his own destiny either way.</strong> For your sake, I truly do hope that this has shed some light on this topic for you.
    Posted by emplatacis[/QUOTE]
    <p class="MsoNormal"> </p><p class="MsoNormal">You posted because people's comments were getting to you.<span>  </span>You said that you felt lonely and you wanted other people's stories.<span>  </span>And if you read what I wrote you would know that I have had some of the same types of comments that you had.<span>  </span>And really?<span>  </span>This is an open forum, I can post where ever I like.<span>  </span>You aren't the queen of this post.
    <span> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span>
    </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span> </span>I disagree; I think it is something to worry about because just like cultures, people change with time.<span>  </span>50 years ago the average 15 year old was much more mature, but you know what?<span>  </span>People lived a much shorter and harder life; you had to grow up early on.<span>  </span>So it is relative.<span> 
    </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span>
    </span></p><p class="MsoNormal">My whole point in the first post was I don't see why you need to be engaged NOW.<span>  </span>If you aren't going to get married for three years you should just date and then get engaged (if you are still interested in him) a year out.<span>  </span>Then you won't have to deal with those nasty comments. You can still be in a serious relationship.<span>  </span>But let me clue you in on something, no one takes your high school relationships seriously.<span>  </span>Why?<span>  </span>Because they know how high school goes, there is this guy that you are IN LOVE with but in two years you are so glad you dumped the looser.<span>  </span>I am not saying that is how your relationship is but that is how people are going to view it.<span>  </span>No one took me seriously when I was in high school and dating my FI.<span>   </span>It is what comes after high school that matters, that is when you start to become and adult and have adult relationships.<span>  </span>This doesn't mean that you cannot start having adult relationships before you are out of high school but no one will take you seriously.<span>  </span>And for good reason, so many young marraiges fail because of people not being mature enough and not knowning what they want in life.<span>  </span>Something to think about and maybe you will learn something.<span> 
    </span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span>
    </span></p><p class="MsoNormal">Your last three sentences make no sense.<span>  </span>And what on Earth does the bolded part me?<span>  </span>You must be an interesting type of Christian seeing as most Christians believe in freewill and choice.<span>  </span>Otherwise we wouldn't have this whole mess of sin to begin with.<span>   </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"> </p>
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • I am a fellow high school love story. Met my fiance at 16 and we are still together nearly 7 years later. He did not propose until we were 21. No one took our relationship seriously until at 19 he nearly died from a debilitating disease and I stayed in the hopsital at his side for weeks at a time. After everything we have been through and all the things we have put up with, we are still not ready to be married. I know that this man is my soul mate and that the fact that we met in high school is a miracle, but these girls are right. You are too young to be planning a marriage this young. I understand that you feel God has made this union and that is amazing, but why would waiting until you are both older change the validity of your union? How could the two of you growing up and into adults change any of that? We both knew that we would marry one day after 2 weeks of dating, but we were still able to have a normal high school and college experience together without being married and were able to grow into two seperate adults who love one another and not be forced to grow into one person.
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  • Why do you use so many quotes?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_engaged-sophmore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:90ceca50-7069-467a-8c62-650d903099c0Post:fc322461-0321-4b06-bd53-dc5bc6824bbd">Re: Engaged as a sophmore</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engaged as a sophmore :   You posted because people's comments were getting to you.   You said that you felt lonely and you wanted other people's stories.   And if you read what I wrote you would know that I have had some of the same types of comments that you had.   And really?   This is an open forum, I can post where ever I like.   You aren't the queen of this post. I disagree; I think it is something to worry about because just like cultures, people change with time.   50 years ago the average 15 year old was much more mature, but you know what?   People lived a much shorter and harder life; you had to grow up early on.   So it is relative.   My whole point in the first post was I don't see why you need to be engaged NOW.   If you aren't going to get married for three years you should just date and then get engaged (if you are still interested in him) a year out.   Then you won't have to deal with those nasty comments. You can still be in a serious relationship.   But let me clue you in on something, no one takes your high school relationships seriously.   Why?   Because they know how high school goes, there is this guy that you are IN LOVE with but in two years you are so glad you dumped the looser.   I am not saying that is how your relationship is but that is how people are going to view it.   <strong>No one took me seriously when I was in high school and dating my FI.    It is what comes after high school that matters, that is when you start to become and adult and have adult relationships.   This doesn't mean that you cannot start having adult relationships before you are out of high school but no one will take you seriously.   And for good reason, so many young marraiges fail because of people not being mature enough and not knowning what they want in life.</strong>   Something to think about and maybe you will learn something.   Your last three sentences make no sense.   And what on Earth does the bolded part me?   You must be an interesting type of Christian seeing as most Christians believe in freewill and choice.   Otherwise we wouldn't have this whole mess of sin to begin with.     
    Posted by ravenray[/QUOTE]

    <div>Well said. I was trying to figure out a way to express this. Eventually you just learn that you have to suck it up and let people be negative about you; the truth is that no one knows you like you do, and maybe you just know something in your heart about this relationship, even if the statistics are against you. The truth is, even though I didn't say it when I posted earlier, I have to admit that I'm skeptical, too. But I don't know you, so should my opinion matter? :)</div><div>
    </div><div>But be prepared that this negativity it's not going to go away for a long, long time, if ever. You could be 40 and telling someone you got engaged as a sophomore in high school and they're still going to make a big deal out it. So see what you can learn from the negativity instead of letting it get to you, and really, really try and let yourself grow over the next few years. That doesn't mean sex or drinking (that's not what it meant for me) but be open to all the possibilities the world has. I think you can still do it while you're engaged, but it's harder. It just might be even harder to do it while engaged in high school.</div><div>
    </div><div>Wow, did any of that actually make sense? Stupid finals, addling my brains!</div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_engaged-sophmore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:90ceca50-7069-467a-8c62-650d903099c0Post:c1a810be-d344-4049-bc3f-f17990336745">Re: Engaged as a sophmore</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engaged as a sophmore :
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]
    Beth I love you so much :)

    Bride It made sense to me :) 
    "Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person's ultimate good as far as it can be obtained"-C.S. Lewis

    Married! May 27th, 2012

  • polkadot111polkadot111 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I bet 99% sure you'll regret this decision in 10 years. Even IF you marry this man, you'll still regret the decision to marry so young.

    I got engaged at 19. I'm 22 (tomorrow!) now and my fiance is 23. I regret my decision. I honestly wish I would have waited until I was 22. I wish I would have waited until around this time to get engaged. After we got engaged we realized we had NO business getting married without being completely financially independent and stable. Also, we were too young. I wasn't ready to get married without enjoying my college experience. I bet that even if you DO get married to him and stay together you'll whole life, you'll regret it. And keep in mind, my faith is pretty important to me as well. When I was 19, heck 17, I believed  my FI was the one God had chosen for me. But either way, I wish I could have waited. We both wish we would have waited until after we were a bit older.

    So, there's my story. And even at 19, I was 4 years older than you... You change throughout those years. Even just between 15 and 19 you change. Between 18 and 25 you change A LOT! Even if you keep telling yourself, "Oh! I don't party! I don't like to! I LOVE GOD!! I'm not going to change!!!" Bogus. You WILL change.
    Used to be bourgehm. +1,500 posts. Silly knot
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  • I got engaged as a sophomore in high school too. We decided to wait until after high school to get married. NO ONE approved of this idea, heck, half my friends didn't even approve of the guy I was with.

    That relationship dissolved a couple months later. I'm GLAD it did, looking back. He was controlling and verbally abusive. Yet for some reason, I thought I loved him and we were meant to be together. You know what I think it was, looking back? BRAINWASHING. He was so dang controlling that I felt like he was all I needed.

    The fact your own parents are iffy and you don't care doesn't surprise me, since that's how I was at that age... just remember your parents are pretty much always spot on when it comes to these types of things. But the fact your FI's parents and your FI are seemingly using God to pretty much scare you into moving to another state to be a homemaker absolutely disgusts me.
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  • I'm not going to question what God did or didn't put on your heart. He uses us all and works through us all in different ways and no one should judge another person for how God choses to use them. Only you know for sure whether or not this is from God.

    In response to everyone else's comments about how much you will change over the years- they are right. You will change. But, that isn't necessarily a bad thing. My FI and I started dating when I was 15 (he was 16). We got engaged a few months ago (I'm 22 now). We both changed over the past 6+ years, but we changed together. We grew together, not apart. Most high school couples change and grow apart, but not all. We have our own identities separate from each other, which is sooo important, but we also love each other more than life. Still, this took time- we dated throughout high school and college, and didn't get engaged until we were completely ready, and by that time, we really discovered who we are individually and as a couple.

    So don't let the other comments freak you out. I think everyone just wants you to be realistic and aware of what all of this means; they don't want you to wake up one day and realize all of this was a mistake. Ultimately, it is between you, your FI, and God.
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  • As a youth director myself, I'm going to chime in here.

    I'm not sure if you'll listen to the women that have posted before me, but please, as a woman in ministry myself, please listen. It is my job to walk through life with students just like you. 

    Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our hearts, for it is the well spring of life. 

    Song of Solomon (the book on marriage and love) tells us over and over and over again to not awaken love before it needs to be. 

    There is nothing wrong with courtship, but if you're intending to court the way most denominations belive in courtship, you should not consider yourself engaged. Most couples who enter into courtship do so with both parents on board and most often times, there are chaperones involved. I beg of you, having been in ministry and dating the guys who aspired to be in worship leadership, please follow the chaperone/group date scenarios. They are very very healthy for young, courting couples. 

    As your plans go to move to Texas (where I was born and raised), stay realistic. Working from a ministry salary, your man will need your help financially, that's just the reality of it. Have you gotten a job yet? Moving is expensive, so if this is your plan, go ahead and start saving so that you can do this together, as a partnership. I have 5 years of ministry experience before I finally found a full time ministry position and some months are still tight on my own salary. I'm not even taking care of my SO, just myself. Sit down and talk over your plans with your parents and write out a budget. If you want to become a mature, responsible woman of God, you'll let your parents be your guides as long as possible. Remember, the first commandment with a promise is to honor your mother and father. 

    Good luck and feel free to PM me if you need to. 
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    "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc Anniversary
  • I am also marrying very young but we thought about it alot!
    My FI and i have been dating since we were 16 and after a few months we said we wanted to get married. in that time i was really inmature and i personally think i didn't know what getting married entitled. My FI (always the mature one since he has lived by himself since he was 15) always told me to wait, at that time i thought he wasn't sure of our relationship but now that i look back i know he was right in telling me to wait. We decided to get married once we completed this checklist:

    • we both had finished college
    • we both had stable jobs
    • a good amount of saving to start our marriage
    • and we had a house to live in once we get married (i am not getting married to go back to my parents house!)

    Now i am 21 and i already finished college and i've been saving most of my paycheck (since i still live with my parents i don't spend alot) towards our future and my FI is going to finish next year and already has a good paying job. We have decided to get married on our 6th anniversary. of couse, he has proposed at least 10 times. and i told him that since we have already stablished a date i need a new proposal so i can make it official Smile

    Yes, i think i  am still young and i have changed ALOT since i was 16 but i think the best part is that my FI and i have changed and matured together and after everything we still love each other

    Sorry for my bad spelling, English is not my first language
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_students_engaged-sophmore?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:684Discussion:90ceca50-7069-467a-8c62-650d903099c0Post:acff2cdb-3fe9-4af5-9532-77f62b9e3a8e">Re: Engaged as a sophmore</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Engaged as a sophmore : Beth I love you so much :) Bride It made sense to me :) 
    Posted by ravenray[/QUOTE]

    Oh good! I'm not going crazy! :)

    And to chime in on what polkadot said - I got engaged at 19 and won't be married until I'm almost 24 (I'm 21 now), and I do certainly have days where I wish we would've waited. We always got engaged knowing full well it would be a long engagement, but there are definitely days when I wish we got engaged a year out from the wedding. It can be tough to have a ring and not really be able to plan anything yet, and you have to be ready to deal with 1,001 people going "wow? really? the wedding isn't until 2014?"

    Of course, then I look at my shiny engagement ring and remember I get to call him my fiance and I'm happy again :)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker PersonalMilestone



  • Firstly, I'm happy that you want to devote yourself to a God-directed path, but I think you need to just "slow the roll" here for a second. You're 15 years old. And God knows that. I'm not saying you can't follow the life God has laid out for you, or that you're not "mature" enough, but I think you could benefit a lot by waiting until you're at least out of highschool before you get engaged. Why?

    Learning the voice of God takes time. We as humans can't hear God's voice audibly, so we're going to have a hard time discerning what's God's voice and what's our voice telling us what we want to hear and then slapping a "God said" sticker on it. Learning to discern the difference takes time. A LOT of time. It takes a lot of time WITH God, and that's something you're going to have to work on on your own.

    A lot of the times, we swear up and down that something is "God-led", and it turns out, it's not. In the end, if you're meant to be with this guy, he will still be there after highschool, you don't need a ring now to seal-the-deal.
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