Fiance will take my last name...when do we tell everyone else?

lola1988 · May 2010

So we are getting married in May of next year and we have decided that my fiance will take my last name. I like it and since his ex-wife kept his last name we decided it would be way more fun this way. We know it's going to shock people but don't think it will actually upset anyone. My only question is when do we tell them? Engagement party, invitations, wedding, thank you cards? help!

jeanna85 · May 2010

Agree with PP, don't make some announcement, if someone asks if you're taking his name, tell them instead what you're doing.

[Deleted User] · May 2010

Ditto pp. You can tell them when you feel the time is right or I am sure it will come out eventually, no rush now. But do expect a little oppositon esp if your family is really traditional, etc. You could just sign the thank-you's with your first names, that is totally fine.

trix1223 · May 2010

If you're making a website, you could put a note on your website that says "After the ceremony, we will officially be known as Mr. and Mrs. MissySue." You can also put something in the program if you have one: perhaps at the end of the order of the ceremony:

Announcement of Mr. and Mrs. MissySue
Recessional

You could even make it a little humorous is you want:
Introducing Mr. and Mrs. MissySue (That's right....it's not a typo!)

GL

MISSCOURTNEY20 · May 2010

Won't they find out at the wedding? Doesn't the minister announce Mr and Mrs Last name??

lola1988 · May 2010

Thanks for the ideas. I like the idea of surprising them. We're pretty sure noone will be offended but weren't sure if not making an announcment could potentially cause problems. And sorry about the poll...it's my first one so I wasn't sure what to put

aerinpegadrak · May 2010

You might try an at-home card:

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-invitations/articles/at-home-wedding-invitation-cards.aspx

I think they're supposed to be a separate mailing, but you might be able to include them with your invitations. (Someone correct me if I'm wrong on that.) At-home cards are also useful if you're going to be moving after the wedding, so everyone knows your new address.

You might want to check out this article: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/facts-and-arguments/i-took-my-wifes-last-name/article1232071/ Some interesting insight there. For instance, I didn't know that it's much harder for the husband to legally take his wife's name than the other way around.

unplainjane · May 2010

don't tell people till the wedding. or people will find out when it's announced after the ceremony anyway. so it's a done deal and people cant give their opinion. i have a friend who both her and her husband decided to hyphenate their names to include the other. but they decided that her name would come first for both of them. which i find is uncommon. they didn't tell anyone till after the ceremony and everyone was so happy congratulating them no one would dare say anything negative about it. no one should be offended by it. it's your names not theirs! but his family may be surprised so be prepared for that.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · May 2010

I'm keeping my name, and so is he, and I'm just planning on signing my last name on the TY notes, NOT being announced as "Mrs. so-and-so" at the reception, etc. Actually maybe you could be announced as "Mary and John Smith" at the reception, which will "announce" his last name.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · May 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_fiance-will-last-namewhen-tell-everyone-else?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:d91b2b6c-251e-445a-88aa-bc6690a765b4Post:fec8a3fd-db12-48d5-b19e-ecb6481ea75e">Re: Fiance will take my last name...when do we tell everyone else?</a>:
[QUOTE] For instance, I didn't know that it's much harder for the husband to legally take his wife's name than the other way around.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

Depends. I know in Los Angeles, the CA marriage license lets either party change their name, keep their name, hyphenate their name, combine their names, move a name to their middle name, etc. Example: the mayor of Los Angeles and his (no ex) wife combined their last names.

Theresa626 · May 2010

I wouldn't say anything at the wedding. Then people will just ask questions that you shouldn't have to answer because it's your own personal choice and none of their business. When you sign your thank you cards, sign it from both of you.. first name, first name, your last name. They'll figure it out. Maybe get address labels that say the your last names.

angiems97 · May 2010

I think you fiance might want to tell his family before hand so they are not shocked or suprised at the wedding.

LeahDVM2003 · June 2010

To follow up on aerinpegadrak's post--at-home cards are an easy solution. They are sent out in the invitations, and if you use announcements, they can be included there as well, per Crane's and Emily Post. Since my maiden name is hyphenated, I am planning on using these to clarify that I am taking my fiance's last name.

Fiance will take my last name...when do we tell everyone else?

Re: Fiance will take my last name...when do we tell everyone else?

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