Etiquette

Lost Invitation or Not Invited

A casual friend got married a few weeks back and invited all of the crowd of friends, except me. The bride talked about her wedding in front of me several times, it was held at a public place, but I never received an invitation. I'm not close to this woman as she's a newer to the crowd and I've lived 2 hours away most of the time she's been part of our group. We all have horses together.

But, she's talking sh*t that I don't like her because I didn't come to her wedding. No, I wasn't invited.

This woman is in her mid 40's, this was a second marriage, she did a potluck BYOB reception. Invitations were hand delivered/word of mouth from what I've heard from people who were invited. I'm upset that she's talking about me, not that I wasn't invited.

Should I ignore the drama or should I say something? There's not really a tactful way to bring it up at this point.
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Re: Lost Invitation or Not Invited

  • How do you know she's talking sh#t about you?  
  • In Response to Re: Lost Invitation or Not Invited:
    How do you know she's talking sh#t about you?  
    Posted by MrsGandthebeag
    Three people have told me things she said, and they're long time friends that don't have a reputation for stirring the pot. I just moved back to the area and now see everyone 4 or 5 days a week.



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  • Yea, it sounds like these girls are trying to stir up drama.  I'd ignore it.  Unless she says something specifically to you, I wouldn't bring it up.  If you were invited and didn't RSVP you would think the bride would've called you to ask if you were coming.  
  • I would think the bride would have called, too. She's acting like her feelings are hurt because we weren't there.

    I doubt if the other women are trash talking to stir drama, we've all been friends for years and that doesn't fly in our group.
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  • How about you just stop coming around here and asking questions?  I'm pretty sure no one would mind.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    edited July 2012
    In Response to Re: Lost Invitation or Not Invited:
    Yea, it sounds like these girls are trying to stir up drama.  I'd ignore it.  Unless she says something specifically to you, I wouldn't bring it up.  If you were invited and didn't RSVP you would think the bride would've called you to ask if you were coming.  
    Posted by MrsGandthebeag
    Not necessarily, because it sounds like the guests basically had to bring their own food and drink so it wasn't like the bride really needed a headcount for the caterer.

    OP, I would just ignore it.  You said yourself that you aren't that close to her and from the sounds of it she doesn't seem all that great if all she is doing is talking crap about someone else.

  • In Response to Re: Lost Invitation or Not Invited:
    How about you just stop coming around here and asking questions?  I'm pretty sure no one would mind.
    Posted by Snippylynn
    Smile
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  • Well, if you want to say something, try something maybe like: "I have heard around that you are upset with me about not being at the wedding. I never recieved an invitation.  I hope that this clears the air and that we can move forward.  I'm sorry you felt slighted all this time."

    If she asks for names, tell her you are uncomfortable with naming names and don't want to stir the pot.

    I personally think it is worse when people RSVP and then don't show without mention afterwards why they couldn't make it/apology. This happened to my brother - people they thought were good friends RSVP then never came nor did they ever call after.
  • SnippylynnSnippylynn
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
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    edited July 2012
    Well, we already know that Stuuufffffffffffiiiii is an azzhole so it should come as no surprise that her 'friends' would be the same.  They probably all sit around trying to figure out how to kill dogs.
  • I would just move on and ignore it. If she says something to your face (or in a text, email, etc) then sure, respond to it. But the whole thing sounded like a mess anyway.


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  • In Response to Re: Lost Invitation or Not Invited:
    In Response to Re: Lost Invitation or Not Invited : FTFY.
    Posted by edielaura
    DED.
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  • In Response to Re: Lost Invitation or Not Invited:
    In Response to Re: Lost Invitation or Not Invited : FTFY.
    Posted by edielaura
    HA!

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  • I'm in the minority here, but if I heard someone was continiously talking shiiiit on me about something like this, I probably would say something. I'd be polite, but I'd just say something like, "Friend, I heard you were really upset that H and I were not at your wedding a few weeks ago. I never received an invitation, I guess it got lost in the mail. I'm so sorry for the misunderstanding." That way, if she did invite you, she'll know it wasn't a slight on her, and it also lets her know that her smack talk got back to you, so maybe she'll feel stupid and knock it off. That's just me, though.
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  • Angel, why are you giving her real advice? I'm trying to get Stufffffi to give up and leave! GAHD.

    Edie. Hilarious.
  • In Response to Lost Invitation or Not Invited:
    A casual friend got married a few weeks back and invited all of the crowd of friends, except me. The bride talked about her wedding in front of me several times, it was held at a public place, but I never received an invitation. I'm not close to this woman as she's a newer to the crowd and I've lived 2 hours away most of the time she's been part of our group. We all have horses together. But, she's talking sh*t that I don't like her because I didn't come to her wedding. No, I wasn't invited. This woman is in her mid 40's, this was a second marriage, she did a potluck BYOB reception. Invitations were hand delivered/word of mouth from what I've heard from people who were invited. I'm upset that she's talking about me, not that I wasn't invited. Should I ignore the drama or should I say something? There's not really a tactful way to bring it up at this point.
    Posted by StefffiC
    How does a hand delivered invite get lost? 
    I'd say you weren't invited, and I'd also say that your friends are stirring the pot. There's no reason they have to come and tell you she's talking shiiiit...yet they do. 
    Don't bring it up.

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  • Haha because I can't help it, Snippy! I have an overwhelming desire to be nice to people. Embarassed

    I'll just let my puppies and rainbows self out of this thread now.
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  • In Response to Re: Lost Invitation or Not Invited:
    In Response to Re: Lost Invitation or Not Invited : FTFY.
    Posted by edielaura
    Hey, I was going to say that she needed to mace them.

    DAMN YOU, EDIE.

  • In Response to Re:Lost Invitation or Not Invited:
    I vote we just ignore her when she posts. Don't feed the troll. Posted by Lizzieyounce
    Technically, I don't think she's a troll, just a bear mace wielding dog hater.
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  • rlavachrlavach
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    member
    edited July 2012
    I'd ignore it also. At first I'd say that you clearly weren't invited because when your RSVP didn't come in, she would've called to find out you're coming. But since you said that the invitations were hand delivered or word of mouth & it was a potluck, she probably didn't do RSVPs. Maybe she intended to invite you and the person who was supposed to pass the word to you dropped the ball. Really, it's too late now. Just ignore the crazy people. 
  • In Response to Re: Lost Invitation or Not Invited:
    In Response to Re: Lost Invitation or Not Invited : That's why we're ignoring Steffi.
    Posted by EaglesBride2012
    <3

    Happy almost wedding day!
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  • In Response to Re:Lost Invitation or Not Invited:
    In Response to Re:Lost Invitation or Not Invited: Technically, I don't think she's a troll, just a bear mace wielding dog hater.
    Posted by StephBeanWed61502
    I agree.
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  • Haha Edie. :)

    Maybe the neighbor's dog ate the invitation.
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  • In Response to Re:Lost Invitation or Not Invited:
    Haha Edie. : Maybe the neighbor's dog ate the invitation. Posted by Matty143
    Don't even joke, or Steffi might use her 20 foot long horse whip on the poor dog. Again.
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  • Ugh. My momma taught me that if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. So...I'm going to keep my mouth shut on this one. 
  • I'd probably just talk to her in a non-defensive and non-attacking way and just say that you heard she was upset you didn't come to the wedding, but you didn't recall getting an invitation so you didn't want to intrude, but you wish you had been able to come. 

    That seems like a no harm/no foul way to deal with it...
  • All the poo is on that bride.  She wanted you to come to her wedding but didn't send you an invite or personally ask you to be there?  I wouldn't ignore the situation.  She needs to know what she did wrong so she can stop talking crap about you. 
  • In Response to Re:Lost Invitation or Not Invited:
    In Response to Re: Lost Invitation or Not Invited:All the poo is on that bride.nbsp; She wanted you to come to her wedding but didn't send you an invite or personally ask you to be there?nbsp; I wouldn't ignore the situation.nbsp; She needs to know what she did wrong so she can stop talking crap about you.nbsp;Posted by Cortney1982Yes, because I so often find that calling someone out for gossiping behind your back totally puts a stop to it. Posted by StageManager14
    It does if you have the conversation while carrying bear mace and a horse whip. Sorry, couldn't resist.
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  • I'll see if it comes up, but I don't think I'll say anything.

    The comments to me were in the context of so and so was hurt that you wouldn't/couldn't make time for her wedding. She was hurt that you weren't there. Turns out I'll see her Saturday for several hours, so it may come up.
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