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How do you do it?

akaladzhyanakaladzhyan
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in Students
You all blow me away. To those of you who are going to school and getting married, I applaud you. How in the world do you do it?! 

My boyfriend and I would be married today if not for school. He is in law school and I am following him next year. Between the two of us that is about $250,000 just for grad school. Although I work as a teacher during my year off between undergrad and law school, my salary barely amounts to anything because I am part time and don't have my credentials. My salary basically pays a couple of my bills and my parents are helping with my undergrad loan repayment until I am able to. 

The only solution that we have come up with is to wait until his 2L summer and pray he gets a paying job so we can be engaged then wait until we are both in the work force to start planning our wedding.

How have you all worked around your circumstances? Are both of you full time students? Does one work and the other go to school? 

I can't wait to read the responses. :-) 
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Re: How do you do it?

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    GJones27GJones27 member
    First Comment
    edited September 2010
    My FI is a business school graduate school in Boston.  I'm currently unemployed in DC but will be starting a new job soon.  I plan to start law school hopefully up in Boston next year, and we will be getting married just before I start law school.  I'll be in 1L as he finishes his last year.  Luckily, we have the financial support to get us through... my FI has savings, stocks, and a fellowship from his school.  I also have stocks and parental support.

    However, what is challenging for us is coordinating everything.  My FI is a foreigner, so we absolutely have to live together next year to avoid suspicion by the government that our marriage is fraudulous.  If I can't get in a good law school up in Boston (I have no intention to practice law in Boston), I'll be disadvantaged after graduation by the limited job placement services.  My FI will also be graduating from a very prestigious institution, but he will be curtailed to only jobs in Boston due to me going to school there.  Boston isn't a bad city for that, but he'll have to pass by some great opportunities in other cities. 

    However, I think there are clear advantages to our plan.  Long-distance is tough, so it will be nice to be close to one another.  We are religious and a bit conversative, and we don't personally believe in living together before marriage.  So living together once we're married will allow us to save money and support one another on a more emotional level.

    I'm curious to see how we'll work out everything!  I'll be going through 1L and the first year of marriage all at the same time.  I know we'll make it, but not without fights, discussions, adjustments, and compromises I believe.  But I think it will be nice to come home from law school on any stressful day and cuddle up with my husband.
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    callalily13callalily13 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    I still have quite a long time before the wedding, but I already know that my fiance will be in school for teaching and I will be doing my PhD in clinical psycology and the year that I will be planning the wedding will also be the year that I am trying to finish my master's thesis. UGH!! Luckily my fiance should be living with me and helping a lot and I try to be very organized, so we will just have to see how that goes.
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    AmyNDanKgrAmyNDanKgr member
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    I am in Nursing school and work Per Diem at a local hospital... He is in Grad school but is only taking one class at a time, but he is working full time and supporting both of us. We have a house, a dog and a cat so we need to keep up on the bills... its interesting but he is my sounding board and keeps me on track with school :)
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    bettyshawbettyshaw member
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    My boyfriend attends the US Naval Academy, so in exchange for five years of military service, he goes to school for free. My loans are the only ones I have to worry about, but right now my parents are helping me out. I wait tables to make ends meet at my house now, but  I don't make nearly enough to start paying back loans.
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    heyimbrenheyimbren member
    First Comment
    I'm not going to be helpful really, because I told BF I don't want to be engaged until I'm finished my undergrad (in early 2012). After that, I'm hoping to go to law school but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

    Honeslty, I applaud all you girls who are planning wedding during school. I can't imagine it. You must all have very good time management skills! Which is a definite asset.
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    chrissabchrissab
    First Comment
    My fiance graduated two years ago and has a full time job as an electrician, while im only in my junior year of undergrad. i work 2 part time jobs, while going to school and planning a wedding and it's killing me! 2 jobs sucks!
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    rapunnzzllrapunnzzll
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    We both work full time.  I'm the only one in school, going full time to try and finish as much as I can because my financial aid will change drastically after we are married.  Last spring we started planning our wedding and on the short break between summer and fall semester, I got a lot of planning done and we work on some of our DIY stuff, intermittently.  FI thought I was crazy starting things as early as I did, but now he is seeing why.  I knew I wouldn't have much free time after this semester started, so my treat each week after all homework is done is to have some fun spending time working on our projects.  The only vendor we need is a dj.  Everything else is pretty much taken care of.  Now if only I could say that about homework.
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    hkeatinghkeating member
    First Comment
    My FI works fulltime as a CPA.He has been out of school for awhile now. I've been in school forever and a day....alot of much wasted time when I didn't know what I wanted to major in! So now I'm taking a fulltime load with an internship. He wishes I had a job (so do I!!). But knowing myself I feel that would be too much on my plate. Kudos to all those ladies that can and do!! I graduate in May and although have gone to school for my bachelors of social work, don't intend to get a social work job until I complete my masters....not enough money in the social work field, unless I get it.
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    jcandjdjcandjd
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    Financially, I'm freaking out.  My FI works for a non-profit who recently cut all full-time employees to roughly 30 hours a week (from $25k to maybe $18k pre-tax), plus a second job that pays minimum wage and is also cutting hours.  I had to quit my job six months ago to go to grad school because of the conflicting hours, so I am looking for a part-time job, but am just doing whatever hourly stuff I can find right now.  Basically, the money I had saved in an emergency fund is pretty much now gone, because my FI's total income still doesn't cover the basics.  If I'd had any idea I'd have such a difficult time finding something, I would've put off the wedding an extra year, but I thought for sure I'd find something before my savings ran out.  We both still have some undergrad loans we're paying off (10 years after graduating), and I will be in debt about $75k from grad school (all to become a teacher, and make not a lot more than I was making to begin with, but I'll actually like teaching).  Stress city!!!

    Planning-wise, I am anal and uber-organized about things like this, so I admit that I have spent way more time focusing on the wedding than school.  However, six weeks after getting engaged, we've both purchased our outfits (sans shoes), our wedding bands, booked our photographer and officiant, reserved the location for the ceremony and reception, chosen and invited the bridal party and let them know the colors to purchase or rent their outfits in, chosen the look of the tables and the place provides a small centerpiece, purchased our invitations and guest book, reviewed the budget and invitation list, booked the location and picked the food and favors for the rehearsal dinner, and purchased half the favors for the wedding.  We will be buying flowers from the grocery store (I prefer the wildflower look and it's way cheaper) a day or two before.  We are using our iPod for music and my brother will be playing me down the aisle, and we have pretty much set the music list.  We still have to register, but I think we've tackled most of the bigger things.

    I have insomnia and I have tried to at least make it productive. :-)  I am making our cake topper and corsages and boutonnieres over my winter break, then addressing invitations over spring break, then dealing with the myriad other details before summer session starts up.  It isn't easy, but it can be done.  
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    ibxbteeibxbtee member
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    edited September 2010
    My fiance just graduated and works for an engineering company that pays his living expenses during his IT rotation and I'm a Junior in my education program. I work at a private school as an aftercare counselor and I use my scholarship money along with some help from my parents. We're planning a budget wedding around 5-10k max. We're not doing anything too extravagant but it's going to be amazing! School's been my priority so wedding planning has been on the side, but it helps that my maid of honor who is also in school with me and the sister of my fiance is doing a lot of the organizing on her spare time! We're racing the clock with only 4 months left :)
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