Walking down the Aisle. Help?!

James&Julie · January 2013

So, I'm getting married in July.

In November, my mom filed for divorce from my dad (it's a good thing). They are still living together but things are kind of tense and court date is in Feb or April sometime. I have never ever gotten along with my dad. Lots of bitterness and anger etc for things that have occurred in the past/present.

I do NOT want him walking me down the aisle. But some of his family (including his mom) will be at the wedding and I don't want to upset people or cause any drama. I would much rather walk down with my mom's dad, or just by myself. I'm not sure what I should do. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. This one aspect just serves to stress me out and I definitely don't need that lol.

Smuchik · January 2013

So sad. I am sorry, but believe me there is drama in every family. I suggest you do what you want. it is your day. The day is about you and your hubs to be starting a life together. You do not want to regret anything later. Please yourself before others.

Lisa50 · January 2013

Walk down the aisle by yourself. You can do it!

beardownbchs · January 2013

You can absolutely walk by yourself. If anyone asks you about it, say something like, "I don't like the idea of being 'given away'. I am an adult and not anyone's property" and leave your relationship with your father out of it completely.

Or, if you really, really want to please everyone, you could have both your dad and your grandpa walk you down. But don't do that unless you want to.

MrsGandthebeag · January 2013

Normally I don't like when brides walk down by themselves, but in this situation I think it'd be better than walking with your grandfather. I think that would be a slap in the face to your dad and just cause drama. So, if you don't want to walk with your dad I'd suggest walking alone or perhaps with your FI?

katty-tonic · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_walking-down-the-aisle-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:5b498bf9-6532-43dc-bbfc-4dca180ca754Post:1a3a5e1d-6a41-405c-8058-a0701b9ffac4">Re:Walking down the Aisle. Help?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Don't have your dad walk you down the aisle just to please others. The ceremony is the only part of the wedding that really IS all about the bride and groom and if you think having your dad walk you down the aisle will cause stress or marr that experience in any way, it's not worth it. You can't control others and if they decide to be upset and start drama over something that is none of their business, then that makes THEM look bad, not you.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

You could walk down half way and have your FI walk to meet you.
It could be uncomfrotable if your dad is at the wedding to walk all the way down by yourself. It will appear bad manners and nosy people will be inquiring and it could even put your mother on the spot.
People may even think that your father refused. Don't put yourself in the uncomfortable position. It will be less noticeable if your FI walks to meet you half way...Its a new tradition.<img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" />

I had a similar uncomfortable situation.

Spunky414 · January 2013

I'm in a similar situation and I'll be walking alone. I feel that it calls the least amount of attention to the issue and it has the convenient "I'm not property" explanation handy. Can't do that if you pick someone else and walking alone is perfectly acceptable.

misssunshine17 · January 2013

I think the best way not to rock the boat would be to walk yourself. If you feel the need, you can always say you're walking yourself because you don't want to be given away.

Giaspo · January 2013

It sounds like you should walk alone. Hopefully your dad will understand this so that he can manage any expectations his side of the family may have. I did like katty-tonic suggested, although it wasn't planned; I walked down alone (because my dad has passed) and for some reason I stopped midway. H came to get me... He walked to me and took my hand and together we walked down the rest of the aisle. I hope it all works out.

mvance3 · February 2013

I have two tid bits of 'advice' on this one.

First, I had a friend with a very similar situation...divorced parents and a dad she didn't get along with. At the last minute, she decided to let him give her away because she decided that not letting him would make her just as bad as he was. In all honesty, she regrets her choice, but says that either way she would have regretted it but at least this she can look back and say she did the kind thing.

Second, my dad is no longer with us...he passed away in June. I wish he was here to walk me down the aisle, but since he isn't I'm walking alone. I just tell people that I am an independet woman who is giving herself away. If someone has a problem with it, I don't care because it's my wedding not theirs.

Bottom line...make the decision that you will look back on and feel good about it. Good luck!

claire1591 · February 2013

I agree with pretty much everyone. I am walking down by myself due to similar circumstances. If somebody doesn't like it...who cares? I don't want to do something I might regret because of what other people may think.

angelady6100 · March 2013

These posts have really helped me the, mob. I was feeling sad that my daughter was walking herself and worried what would people think? Now, I realize, "why Not?"..She is an adult, almost 29 yr old and her FIance wants to meet her halfway...just beautiful! Thanks everyone!!

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