Wedding Reception Forum

Music - Compromises

My fiance and I booked a DJ months ago, and which point we had a discussion with him about what our expectations were for the wedding; what type of music, the flow ect. My fiance knows him, and has seen him work so he knows that everything will run smoothly, but the only thing we requested is that we don't play country music - we both hate it with a passion.

So, fast forward to last evening....my mother texted me : "so your dad and I were wondering what type of music you were going to play?". The only type of music my parents listen to is country. Knowing that we already discussed having no country music with our DJ, I tried to make a joke out of it by saying "Sorry, there will be not achey breaky heart played at our wedding. HA HA HA.". MY mom didn't think it was a good joke and proceeded to send me paragraph emails about how I was being rude, and how they would like to be able to dance (and evidently the ONLY music they can dance to is country), and we needed to play country!! ect.

I don't want to sound selfish (but I proablly do anyways), but this is our wedding, that we are paying for ourselves, and i don't want to be subjected to listening to music we destest all night long. By the way the majority of the guests share our same music tastes.

Does anyone have suggestions on a good way to handle this situation? OR a good compromise??

Re: Music - Compromises

  • My suggestion is, when people ask you what music you are going to play, say something like, "we picked out a great DJ and are very excited for the party."  No need to go into more detail if you don't want feedback.  
  • This may be playing the devils advocate, but would playing one country song at your wedding so your parents can dance really kill you? I realize that you're paying and it's not your sort of music, but you could always choose to take a 3 minute bathroom break. I totally get not wanting to spend the whole night listening to music you hate, but I'm all for choosing your battles.
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  • You're acting like your only options are "no country at all" or "100% country music for the entire reception" and that's just plain false.  It wouldn't kill you to play a song or two for your parents, would it?  FI and I have a few requests from parents that we're going to accommodate with a song or two here or there, even though it's not music we'd ever play on our own.  Our relationships with our parents are more important to us than having to endure 3-6 minutes of country music.
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  • Even so you are paying, I would just appease them and give them 2-3 songs spread out throughout the night for them to dance to. If you hate them that much, you can always step outside with some friends for some air for a few minutes.
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  • I thought the idea of the reception was a thank you to your guests which means appealing to the BROAD crowd and not just what you like.  A small handful of country songs will probably be welcomed by many guests, is it really that big of a deal?  Like pp said, you don't have to go 100% country, or no country.  There is a bit of middle ground here.
  • I would have to agree with many of the ladies here. Our reception is a "thank you" to our guests. You want them all to walk away remembering what a good time they had, even if their music tastes differ from yours. It's a good idea to toss a little something in for a variety of tastes so that everyone feels included in the celebratory dancing. I've been at weddings before where the music was almost entirely one style (not mine), so I couldn't really participate (didn't know how to dance to that type of music, and found it unenjoyable). I wouldn't want any of my guests to feel like that all night. Yes, you definitely want your music played, but a thank you nod to your guests seems like the right thing to do, even if it's just a few songs throughout the evening. You know how YOU feel when you hear that favorite come on -- you get excited and want to rush out and join in. Let your guests feel that, too. I promise you that the memories you gain from seeing your loved ones having a good time on the dance floor on your wedding day far outweigh the annoyance of hearing a few minutes of music you don't like.
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  • Ditto kmmssg

    Since you are paying for everything, I suppose you get the final say on the music. But wouldn't you want all of your guests to enjoy it. Try to have some variety.
                       
  • Maybe if your parents have a favorite song, you could have the Dj say "This going out to the parents of the bride" and play that one song.  You could also play their first dance song in the same manner so they feel included with just a single country song played.
  • I would suggest playing one or two country songs...it isn't that bad.
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