Anyone else see this article on +1's this morning?

genepoolperfect · June 2010

Anyone else see this article on +1's this morning?

http://www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/browbeat/archive/2010/06/24/in-defense-of-1.aspx?GT1=38001

xtina_824 · June 2010

Although we are giving a +1 to most of our guest, except my 18 year old cousin with no gf and others along those lines, this article sounds like it was written by someone who has never planned or PAID for a wedding. I love how it says to just invite those extra people, whats another couple hundred or couple thousand?!!! (sarcasm)

Overall, I think everyone's situation is different regarding who gets a +1 and who doesn't.

clarereedy · June 2010

We gave a +1 to everyone on our list. I have been invited several times to family events without a guest and being the only single cousin it was not fun! I always swore that no matter what everyone would have the option to bring guests. So, all of my single guests have a plus one. This actually added exactly 60 people to my list (total invitations is 364) which is insane to pay for, but not everyone will bring someone.

Bat937 · June 2010

We only did +1 to people who I knew were dating someone at the time. I had several people who were single and didn't get a +1 (including my MOH). All the singles knew other people at the wedding so it wasn't like they would be there knowing no one.

I always perferred to go alone if I wasn't dating anyone. I wanted to spend the evening dancing and hanging out with my friends not entertaining someone who didn't know anyone.

Just Jen · June 2010

Stuff like this makes me so mad.

I had literally months of sleepness nights crunching and recrunching numbers, pouring over spreadsheets, figuring out how we could maximize every red cent we put into this wedding. I feel like, if you really care for me, you won't want me to be overwhelmed by debt in order to pay for this thing.

Having said that, we invited every guest with a plus one. Thankfully, most of them came solo, and a lot of MH's out-of-town relatives with small children had to decline (we did not invite kids).

If everyone would've said yes and brought a guest, though, it would've been an extra $14,000+.

TerriandJoe · June 2010

We allowed anyone in a relationship a +1.

And listed the person's name on the inside envelope.

The relationship people it didn't matter if you were dating, engaged, living together. As long as it was an established relationship.

And then we did a case-by-case with single people.

If you had someone who you were on-again, off-again with, we did invite you with a guest. Because you did have "a person". But you got "and guest".

Those in relationships got (on the inside envelope) "and significant others name"

Single singles (those not in relationships, of any type, not established, not on-again off again) were invited for the most part as singles. Although, there were I think four where they were single, but invited with a guest, because it would have been awkward if they were invited solo. (Meaning, they might not have somebody, but all the people they are friends with do, so to not sit them as a single in a table of couples, those couple of people got an "and guest" by default.

We used their relationship situation as the determining point. Not their age! But I have seen that 35 number mentioned before. Now I know where it came from!

mrsredmoose · June 2010

We plus oned everyone (except for a recent widow, but we welcomed to bring a friend, didn't think she'd wanna read Mrs. X and Guest on her invite.)

It was an easy decision for us, as it added about 15-20 extra people and we could afford the financial hit (rsvps are coming in and most singles are declining the option to bring a guest). I am 34 and FI is 41; most our are friends are married. In my 20's I wouldn't have thought twice about being invited without a guest (as long as I knew other people there), but now, in my 30's with a life partner, I would not attend a wedding if he was not invited.

It's a really tough bind for a lot of couples. It's easy to say to someone to suck it up and cut corners elsewhere or find a cheaper venue, but it's hard to have to do it yourself if you don't have the $ or options.

At the end of the day, couples are most likely going to ruffle some feathers; you can't please everyone. In our group, I am sure some people would have liked their children to be invited, but FI and I made the decision to only invite immed. family and WP children and we have to deal with the consequences. If we invited everyone with their children, we'd have the possibility of well over 100 children running around.

chrisnjay2010 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_anyone-else-see-this-article-1s-this-morning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:113Discussion:a7ee8dbd-c1ae-4d59-9782-d8fd6a66b4ecPost:af0fcfaa-20b3-4e8a-8a92-72b7988ea9d5">Re: Anyone else see this article on +1's this morning?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>We allowed anyone in a relationship a +1.</strong> And listed the person's name on the inside envelope. <strong>The relationship people it didn't matter if you were dating, engaged, living together. As long as it was an established relationship. And then we did a case-by-case with single people. If you had someone who you were on-again, off-again with, we did invite you with a guest. Because you did have "a person". But you got "and guest".</strong> Those in relationships got (on the inside envelope) "and significant others name" Single singles (those not in relationships, of any type, not established, not on-again off again) were invited for the most part as singles. Although, there were I think four where they were single, but invited with a guest, because it would have been awkward if they were invited solo. (Meaning, they might not have somebody, but all the people they are friends with do, so to not sit them as a single in a table of couples, those couple of people got an "and guest" by default. We used their relationship situation as the determining point. Not their age! But I have seen that 35 number mentioned before. Now I know where it came from!
Posted by TerriandJoe[/QUOTE]

Terri- our rationale was so similar to yours. And then in the end as time got close and RSVP's were no's, there were ppl I had invited singly but I really wanted to add a guest, I called them and said please bring a guest, this was really only done for the super close friends and family. It was a very hard decision initially and I felt bad, but $$ was the determining factor.

psichick · June 2010

we gave almost everyone a +1. it sucks having to go to an event on your own and i wouldn't want to do that to my friends.

smatuza · June 2010

we invited everyone in a relationship with a guest. i invited only one friend not in a relationship to have a guest because all of the people in her group are couples so i dind't want her to be left out and she is bringing one. all my cousins that are younger than me (i'm 26) didn't get a guest even if they are in a relationship because they are staying over with their parents and i knew it'd be an issue for their parents so i didn't invite them with one. all my FI's single guy friends weren't invited with guests but they know all my single girl friends (we all went to college together and in a brother/sister fraternity/sorority) so we are all friends and everyone is together. it wasn't too big of an issue, there were way too many other inviting issues that were bigger than this one!

manda26 · June 2010

he sounds so bitter! Granted, his brother didn't invite him and his long-term GF while he was best man at the wedding, which is wrong.

But generally speaking no one here seems to be abusing the no + 1. Of course we would all love to be able to not have to make the choice and give everyone a +1 is possible, but to say have a wedding at City Hall just because of a few 'guests' is a bit extreme. There is only a small handful of people we are inviting w/o a + 1, most of our friends are in relationships and whether or not they are living together or engaged then they get a + 1

Crissyo · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_anyone-else-see-this-article-1s-this-morning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:113Discussion:a7ee8dbd-c1ae-4d59-9782-d8fd6a66b4ecPost:02f88f6d-04e8-4af2-a398-81d3fd7049ac">Re: Anyone else see this article on +1's this morning?</a>:
[QUOTE]we gave almost everyone a +1. it sucks having to go to an event on your own and i wouldn't want to do that to my friends.
Posted by psichick[/QUOTE]

THIS...I invited all above 18 with a plus one.
But many of our friends ( even some married) came solo...so it worked out well!

kmangiamele · June 2010

I have a very large extended family, so for me to say everyone gets a +1 would put me severly over budget or make it so I can't have my friends there. We decided as a family that if you don't live with them, or aren't engaged then we just can't add a +1. The only exceptions that were made to this were for people in our BP.

Little Spitfire · July 2010

I agree with a lot of what PPs have posted, and if I had to draw the line, I would say anyone in a relationship (no matter how long) got a +1. I also think there is a difference in being invited to a family wedding without a guest and being invited to a friend's wedding without a guest. It's a lot easier to deal with being alone if you are surrounded by your family (and one probably wouldn't want to scrounge up a date just so he could be interrogated by Aunt Bertha for 3 hours anyway).

I know a lot of people (not on this board) have expressed concern over paying for the plates of "randoms," and I think, for the most part, people who invite their friends with +1s find out that the majority of people not in relationships opt not to bring anyone. It's just nice to have the option, and avoids bitterness like the author's, lol.

Anyone else see this article on +1's this morning?

Re: Anyone else see this article on +1's this morning?

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