What's wrong with me.

rfaivrecarver · March 2012

My newly engaged friend is driving me nutty. I just want to be authentically happy for her, and not do this faking it thing. I know getting engaged is exciting, and I know my feelings probably stem from jealousy, and or I am just irritated because she isn't focused on me. I mean hey, let's be real. If something amazing happens to your friend you should be over the moon too. I have my own wedding, and mine is less than six months away, and I get irritated because hers is over a year away, and she is non stop. But that shouldn't matter. Also, I don't think I should tell her any of this. This is my problem not hers. Ok, I am posting this embarrassing truth in hopes someone has some advice to help me get over it and be the good friend I want to be, and without her knowing. I'm scared if I don't just own my feelings I will unfairly explode on her. Help, be gentle I know it's not her fault. I am hoping someone had the same issue and got through it and is authentically happy now.

Mandafly84 · March 2012

Soo... you and your friend are both engaged.

Your wedding is in 6 months.

Hers is over a year away.

She's excited and happy for her wedding, and not 100% focused on yours, and therefore you are angry, bitter, and jealous.

That's basically what you're telling us, right?

chirpchirp · March 2012

Think about how you would feel if you were in her shoes. You say that she's not over the moon for you but you're not exactly throwing a parade for her either.

So, since you asked, get over it. Enjoy your engagement and be happy for your friend. It's not going to make your engagement and wedding any less special.

crnflkgirl75 · March 2012

I shouldn't admit this, but I get it. You are so excited and all you want to think about is your upcoming wedding! I so get it. We both know it's wrong though, so how to cope? Use her excitement as a bridge to talk about your own excitement. She tells you what she's thinking aboutforfavors, use your experience to help her and that way, you get to have both. You share your excitement with her. You both get to talk wedding non-stop, and it's a win-win. She gets feedback and support and you get to still share your excitement. Do not talk about you non-stop, but getting excited for her will help you maintain your own excitement.

Blueyed228 · March 2012

Why are you not excited for her? Thats weird to me.

[Deleted User] · March 2012

Wow. She's lucky to have you.

rfaivrecarver · March 2012

Thanks crnflk girl. I will do that for sure. I am not worried about hers being a better wedding than mine. I know that when you post something on here you asked for it and I am taking what everyone said under consideration, I am being weird and crazy. She is lucky to have me? Sarcasm translates and that's true I'm a bad friend right now, I am going to be a better friend. I am going to give her a call and ask her about her wedding, and be genuine. Because now I have everyone's blunt honesty rolling around in my head and I am not going to continue on being a jerk. I just need to not be looking at things from my perspective only and treat her better. Thanks everyone. I promise to to better

[Deleted User] · March 2012

I don't think you need to force yourself to talk to her about her wedding. Friendship shouldn't be forced. Just release the weirdness and be natural.

rfaivrecarver · March 2012

That's what meant. I am releasing the weirdness. This is what I did, I said "hey I have seen your stuff on Facebook about your wedding, but we haven't talked in a few weeks, how's the wedding plans coming" she talked and she said " hey, how's yours going, I talked, then she asked me a question about save the dates, and I feel a lot better, I feel almost human again!!!! Lol

Blueyed228 · March 2012

If wedding talk is making you crazy pants, then just stop talking about weddings.

Nebb · March 2012

Whaa whaa whaaa whaa whaaaaaaaa.

thats all im getting from this post.

MeaghanandMichael · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_whats-wrong-with-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:52b29595-3388-47aa-b8af-28c573f248b9Post:f9265d97-44ca-45a5-ab02-4b943477c3f4">What's wrong with me.</a>:
[QUOTE]My newly engaged friend is driving me nutty. I just want to be authentically happy for her, and not do this faking it thing. I know getting engaged is exciting, and I know my feelings probably stem from jealousy, and or I am just irritated because she isn't focused on me. I mean hey, let's be real. If something amazing happens to your friend you should be over the moon too. I have my own wedding, and mine is less than six months away, and I get irritated because hers is over a year away, and she is non stop. But that shouldn't matter. Also, I don't think I should tell her any of this. This is my problem not hers. Ok, I am posting this embarrassing truth in hopes someone has some advice to help me get over it and be the good friend I want to be, <strong>and without her knowing</strong>. I'm scared if I don't just own my feelings I will unfairly explode on her. Help, be gentle I know it's not her fault. I am hoping someone had the same issue and got through it and is authentically happy now.
Posted by rfaivrecarver[/QUOTE]

Warning. The internet is public. Especially with a screen name like yours that appears to be a name, it is not uncommon that some one who knows you or her is reading this right now.

NeedWeddingFavors · March 2012

Good for you for posting this here. It will help you if you admit to yourself that you are aggrevated. Once you have admitted it to yourself, keep repeating to yourself that this is your issue and not hers. The more you do that, the quicker you will get over the negative feelings and move on. She shouldn't expect you to be all into her wedding when yours is coming up soon, if she is expecting that, it is her problem.

Just be the bigger person and treat her the way you want to be treated no matter what and you will be a great friend.

WaffleyGoodness · March 2012

Haha... you remind me of a friend of mine who posted "Lucky! At least you know yours is going to happen" on my Facebook status where I expressed excitement at being 5 months away from my "I do"s.

From that standpoint, try to view her wedding and yours as different things. You don't need to compare... I don't know you situation and I feel like too many brides on here are so harsh in the forums... for all we know, everytime you spoke of your wedding she'd jump in with "That is awesome! For my wedding..." and that is what has you down...

It's okay to be a little sad that something you feel is special to you is now being shared by others. It reminds you that this huge event is just huge in your life, and others have their own things to focus on. As I see it, you maybe know that there are people who feel this same way about your day...

Do what you're doing now... ask about her planning, then share your own. Maybe give her advice on good vendors and such. It may make you feel better to be able to feel like you are helping. (And of course, she doesn't have to use the same items...)

What's wrong with me.

Re: What's wrong with me.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards