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XP Vent about FMIL again.

So as you all know my FMIL is crazy. Well I am so close to telling her to go jump off a bridge or something.

 

So we went over FILs house Sunday. Well we we’re suppose to go over at 3pm but FMIL called and said they had “to run out for a min”. So we went over at 3:30pm. So we get there and FMIL is like go out to the shop we have something to show you . So we go out there. Well they bought this swing set slide thing off craigslist. (http://spacecoast.craigslist.org/bab/1862202741.html this is the item, we didn’t know this until after we got home. Oh and not to mention it’s broken. What a surprise there. )( The 30 mins they we're gone at  3pm we're because they were going to pick up this thing ).

So she was like you’ll can take it home. I was sitting here thinking   are you Fing kidding me , FI asked you to contact him before you go off and buy stuff for SS( step son).  

 

Not to mention FMIL has been “hiding” toys in there spare bedroom. She had the closet door half way open a few weeks back and it was FULL (I mean ready to fall out jammed pack with toys). Not to mention she had more toys all around the room and then she also had 2 big bags full of big tonka trucks she just bought ( but she doesn’t know we know she is “hiding” all these toys ). This is after FI has told her multiple times to talk to us before she buys a lot of stuff for our house.  She has a craigslist addiction I swear.  Every time we see her she tries to sneak a toy over to our house. Then when tell her we already have 3 of that toy that we don’t need it she gets mad.  SS is not even 2 years old yet and she is going crazy. I mean we told FILs that Jackson saw a police car the other day and then FMIL went on craigslist and bought like 3 “police cars” did the same thing with fire trucks. FI says that he think she gets obsessed with it.  I mean you can say oh well she can buy whatever she wants as long as it stays at there house. But then I know FMIL will try to give us all the crap for his birthday (Oct) and Christmas. FI thinking about telling her a limit of presents and if she goes over the limit they go to charity.

 

Anyways back to Sunday. FILs have a small hill in there front yard and FMIL keeps trying to get SS to roll down it but he doesn’t like it yet. Well we had dinner and we were getting ready to leave in 10 or so mins . Well FMIL took SS out front    while I was putting something in the car.  She came outside with him and was like let’s go run and roll down the hill. I was like please don’t do that because he just ate and I don’t want him to throw up. She was like oh well we can just change him if he does. ( UMM WTH) . Well she kept walking and I was like please don’t. She kept walking. So I said please don’t again.  So I walked into the house wear FI and FFIL were and said I am done with her. Then they asked what happened so I told them.  They were both pretty mad about it. FMIL just stopped by like ten mins ago to drop off the swing set thing. Which she is not suppose to come to the house. But I guess she doesn’t care about that.  UGH sorry vent. I swear I don’t know what to do with this lady.

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Re: XP Vent about FMIL again.

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    edited December 2011
    One question: Why doesn't your FI tell her to stop? It's his mother and he needs to lay down the law with this lady. Or at least talk to his dad because from what you said he thinks she's a little bit crazy, too.

    Is SS the only grand child as well? Because I know my sister has a shitton of stuff for her daughter because my parents went all out buying things for "their only grand child" and it's ridiculous.
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    sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_xp-vent-fmil-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:651a0cd4-462b-4cfb-84f8-cfc801fdeb06Post:5c13ed3c-c243-47c2-a63a-f2e72329cccb">Re: XP Vent about FMIL again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]One question: Why doesn't your FI tell her to stop? It's his mother and he needs to lay down the law with this lady. Or at least talk to his dad because from what you said he thinks she's a little bit crazy, too. Is SS the only grand child as well? Because I know my sister has a shitton of stuff for her daughter because my parents went all out buying things for "their only grand child" and it's ridiculous.
    Posted by waltzingmatilda13[/QUOTE]

    He has told her to stop multiple times . I have been with him since my SS was 4 months old. We  have talked to his dad and he talked to her but she doesn't listen to him or she will get better for a week or two and do it all over again. We talked to her about the toys thing and she was like I won't buy him anything anymore . Well we thought she was doing good for a few weeks . But we we're wrong , we went over to there house and she  was when she started stock piling crap in the closet. SS is only grandchild. FI is an only child. Its not just issues with toys with her . Its everything. Not listening to what FI tells her about his son . Heres a few links to a few things she has done or tried to do this month. The first link has 2 things that happened .

    <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_many-days-month-child-spend-night-grandparents" rel="nofollow">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_many-days-month-child-spend-night-grandparents</a>

    <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2011-weddings_fmil-must-something" rel="nofollow">http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_march-2011-weddings_fmil-must-something</a>
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    edited December 2011
    I know how you feel. My mom was the same way with my (now grown) kids. They always had too much of every thing because of her need to indulge them, I think it was because she grew up poor, in a very large family. No amount of reasonable discussion could dissuade her from buying things for my kids and my home. It's very frustrating.

    The only suggestion I have is that Fi insist FMIL keep the toys that she buys at her house so the SS has something to look forward to when he visits. If she brings them to your house, bring them back to her's on your next visit.The yard set looks like it will be pretty easy to move, when your SS no longer has a use for it. But if it really bothers you to have it, have Fi ask FMIL if she would like it set up at her house or if she would prefer he sell it and open a savings account for SS with the money.

    Good luck. This is probably going to a constant battle for you.

                       
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    sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_xp-vent-fmil-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:651a0cd4-462b-4cfb-84f8-cfc801fdeb06Post:30346f1c-e0da-40de-99a7-b76c23c29ae9">Re: XP Vent about FMIL again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I know how you feel. My mom was the same way with my (now grown) kids. They always had too much of every thing because of her need to indulge them, I think it was because she grew up poor, in a very large family. No amount of reasonable discussion could dissuade her from buying things for my kids and my home. It's very frustrating. The only suggestion I have is that Fi insist FMIL keep the toys that she buys at her house so the SS has something to look forward to when he visits. If she brings them to your house, bring them back to her's on your next visit.The yard set looks like it will be pretty easy to move, when your SS no longer has a use for it. But if it really bothers you to have it, have Fi ask FMIL if she would like it set up at her house or if she would prefer he sell it and open a savings account for SS with the money. Good luck. This is probably going to a constant battle for you.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]


    Ugh. Its so annoying.  Yeah thank god I can more that thing its pretty light. Which I kind of don't liike because SS will probably try to move it around. SS had a slide already and she took it back with her to sell.  SS cried when she put it in the truck .  I might go get him a new slide . A few months ago FMIL bought a tool set at like biglots or somewhere and brought it over . Well SS already has ALOT tools here and at her house. Well  she was going to open it and was telling SS he can have it here. Well I was like hey can you please not open that we already have X number of tool that he already has open. I was thinking maybe I could put it away for a year and give it to him then or something. Well she got all pissy and was like I will just take it home blah blah . Well needless to say its in the closet in there spare room.
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    AutumnFairAutumnFair member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OMG, I just read the other things she has been doing and I feel so bad for you. I believe that you need a special spa or pedi day every month to let all the drama she stirs up drain away. Wow, she is indeed a crazy one. 
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    sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    lol. Thanks Autumn .

    Not to mention I don't think she realizes that SS will have like 10 grandparents .lol.

    We have  FIs Mom and Dad . My mom and dad, SS's moms Mom and stepdad , SS's Moms  Dad and stepmom and Whoever she dates/gets married to  Dad and Mom and if there not married then  stepmam and dad. Also Sss has a half brother so his brother had 2 other grandparents ( but I don't know how much SS sees his brothers GPs)

    UGH . Wow.Thats alot of GPs
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    edited December 2011
    Wow, just wow. I totally agree with MairePoppy and that was going to be my solution: Just take everything back to her house. If she bring something over, take it back the next trip or even put it back in her car before she leaves.

    As far as that other stuff, just tell her that if she can't respect when your FI wants to spend time with his son and enjoy you coming over once a week, stop going and stop letting him spend the night. She sounds very demanding and stubborn so I would just ignore whatever she does all together. If you 2 don't agree, just don't do it.

    I know it's easier said than done, and I'm so sorry you have to deal with the crazy, but I hope it all works out for you!
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    edited December 2011
    If you already have her volunteering to take stuff home, my hats off to you. You're on the right track.
    I wonder if there is some kind of toy safety guide on the internet that you could pass along to her though. She should go through her stash in her closets and make sure the toys are safe.
                       
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    sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_xp-vent-fmil-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:651a0cd4-462b-4cfb-84f8-cfc801fdeb06Post:0d859310-e3c9-4db6-bd77-ec4cd37e4710">Re: XP Vent about FMIL again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you already have her <strong>volunteering</strong> to take stuff home, my hats off to you. You're on the right track. I wonder if there is some kind of toy safety guide on the internet that you could pass along to her though. She should go through her stash in her closets and make sure the toys are safe.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

    I wouldn't call it volunteering .lol. I will call it politely forcing her to get that crap out of our house.lol. My thing is I think she thinks she going to like have a  massive off load of her toys at his birthday in Oct then in at Christmas.One day I will have to take my camera over there and take pictures of all the crap she has "hiding" its insane.
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    edited December 2011
    Have his birthday party at her house. Problem solved.
                       
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    sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    lol. Acuatlly we found out that they won't be here the week of his BDay  . But she said she will bring the toys over before his BDay .
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    edited December 2011
    That sounds like a good way to stock up on toys to give to charity. Take the things she gives you and donate it...then write it off on your taxes :)

    Seriously she sounds like a nut. I would start limiting and supervising visitation & not opening the door when she drops by. She just sounds really excited to be a granny. Is this the first grandchild?
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    sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_xp-vent-fmil-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:651a0cd4-462b-4cfb-84f8-cfc801fdeb06Post:fe308f69-475c-4fdf-8213-9367fc60b039">Re: XP Vent about FMIL again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]That sounds like a good way to stock up on toys to give to charity. Take the things she gives you and donate it...then write it off on your taxes :) Seriously she sounds like a nut. I would start limiting and supervising visitation & not opening the door when she drops by. She just sounds really excited to be a granny. Is this the first grandchild?
    Posted by suz62984[/QUOTE]

    Yeah were about tostart doing only supervised visits. Like I told FI when she doesn't listen  while we are there then we should just get up and leave .lol he agreed. Well we started getting rid  or and seeling the toys over then she would be like wheres XYZ and get made when we would say oh well we have 3 sets of blocks  so we got rid of one.
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    sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_xp-vent-fmil-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:651a0cd4-462b-4cfb-84f8-cfc801fdeb06Post:04a6bb44-c03a-4a95-82be-f5bb94c34fbf">Re: XP Vent about FMIL again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]It sounds like you are dealing with some medical issues here.  Is you FMIL seeing a doctor?  Is she on medication?  It is quite possible that she is bi-polar.  This can be treated with medication, therapy and family support.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    She sees a "normal" doctor for check ups but nothing other than that. I think she has always been this way . Supposably FI said they ( FILs) have lost alot of friends because of the way she is.
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    edited December 2011
    You are totally over reacting about something that is really none of your business.

    SS is not your kid. Your FMIL is his biological grandmother. Where do you get off trying to boss her around and prevent her from purchasing toys for her grandson?

    Who in their right mind would complain about a grandmother giving toys to her grandson?
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    sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Insane = Utterly senseless

    Crazy =Foolish or impractical; senseless

    http://www.thefreedictionary.com/crazy

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    sarah42ndsarah42nd member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_xp-vent-fmil-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:651a0cd4-462b-4cfb-84f8-cfc801fdeb06Post:94e58ff9-0c5f-42c8-ad75-184ee89d9df7">Re: XP Vent about FMIL again.</a>:
    [QUOTE]It would be appropriate for your FFIL and your FI to talk to her doctor about her extreme behavior.  It sounds like FFIL has been allowing this for years.  It may not occur to anyone that the poor woman really needs help.  I think you need to take a deep breath and calm down.  Your posts sound very emotionally charged.  If you allow your FMIL to continue pushing your buttons, this will lead to no good for either of you.  Are you venting in front of the children?  I sincerely hope not.  Your repeated comments about your FMIL being "crazy!" are hurtful to me.  I have dealt with the mental illness of family members for all of my life. It's not a joking matter.  Calling someone "crazy" or 'insane" is no different than pointing out a physical handicap.  Please calm down.
    Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

    No we never talk about anything in front of SS.  I think she needs help   but I don't know what the others think. I too have  dealt  with mental illness with friends.   Fmil does not  know she pushes my buttons as much as she does.
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