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Honeymoon Registry Websites

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Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites

  • edited February 2013
    In Response to Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    Hello Lovely Brides, My Fiance and I are going to be doing a honeymoon registry for Belize and are having a hard time picking the registry website to use. There are so many and each has a different set of fees, to-dos, perks, waiting periods. It is alot to sort through and trust. I would appreciate recommendations from anyone that has personally used a honeymoon registry. No need to share your opinions on whether the etiquette is proper to be registering for a honeymoon or not. Threads are already full of this debate. We are decided. Thanks in advance for your recommendations and insights! they are appreciated!
    Posted by BreeandShane
    But why do you want to use a website that has fees and waiting periods? I don't understand this.

    I am not trying to spark a debate or be snarky, but can you explain why you would rather charge your guests a fee to have a check sent to you rather than just letting them send you a check directly if they so choose without fees taken out?

    Also, by posting you are opening yourself up to opinions of all kinds. You can't dictate the types of responses you get.


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  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    edited February 2013
    You're not going to get much Honeymoon Registry support. Honeymoon Registries are tacky.

    Don't register anywhere, and guests will likely get the hint and gift cash that you can put towards a honeymoon or whatever you want.

    FWIW, DH & I certainly didn't make it a secret as to what we were doing for our honeymoon. It's not like you have to "hide" what your plans are or that you're saving money for fun things on your honeymoon. Despite having no honeymoon registry (*gasp*) some guests still purchased us onboard credit and other fun surprises for our cruise without us even asking in a tacky honeymoon registry way! Imagine that! Tongue out
  • How are you going to know what your budget is?  We finished paying for our honeymoon on Saturday, and we have ranked excursions/spa treatments/extras in the order of priority.  We are booking them slowly so that we know we don't go over budget.  I don't understand how you will know what your budget is if there are waiting periods.  Please tell me you aren't planning on charging it and hoping for the best?
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    In Response to Honeymoon Registry Websites : But why do you want to use a website that has fees and waiting periods? I don't understand this. I am not trying to spark a debate or be snarky, but can you explain why you would rather charge your guests a fee to have a check sent to you rather than just letting them send you a check directly if they so choose without fees taken out? Also, by posting you are opening yourself up to opinions of all kinds. You can't dictate the types of responses you get.
    Posted by Summer2011Bride
    This.  This is why I just don't understand HM registries.

    OP, make it known where you are going for your HM, don't do a traditional registry, and if people ask, tell them that you are saving up for your HM to Belize.  People are not dumb, they will get the hint.

    Oh, and I absolutely despise HM registries.  They are deceptive and rude.

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    I get it. You don't like honeymoon registries. They weren't appropriate for your situation and that is fine. Totally your choice. I respect that. Now please respect mine. I would really appreciate actual helpful comments from brides who chose to use them. Thank you.
    Posted by BreeandShane
    You cannot control what people post.  And when you do try to control it, people will be more likely to post things that you asked them not to.  This is a public forum and if I want to express my opinion about something I can.  You making a point to ask us to refrain from stating our opinions about HM registries made me more apt to state mine.  Is that spiteful?  Probably, but you are being a bit ridiculous trying to moderate what we can and cannot post as a response to your thread.

    Also, PP had some great questions about how you plan on budgeting your HM when you are relying on a HM registry.  How will you know you can actually afford the HM you book?  What happens if you don't get enough money from your HM registry?  What will you do then?  These are all questions that you need to consider.  Heck, maybe you have but we can only go off by what you post.  Not every guest will use a registry to get you a gift.  In fact, most of your wedding guests will bring you a card with cash or check in it rather then buying off your HM registry or even a traditional registry.

  • alithebridealithebride member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2013
    i didn't use one (i pay for my own vacations) BUT just keep in mind you still need to book the HM that you can afford. since you dont know how much people will contribute and will have to pay before the HM (assuming you'r egoing right after or shortly after your wedding) you'll still need to pay for it you need to do so within your budget.

     

  • I would suggest you use the website
    Haveasmalltraditionalregistryandspreadbywordofmouththatyouaresavingforthehoneymoon.com

    They have some really great deals.
  • In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    I get it. You don't like honeymoon registries. They weren't appropriate for your situation and that is fine. Totally your choice. I respect that. Now please respect mine. I would really appreciate actual helpful comments from brides who chose to use them. Thank you.
    Posted by BreeandShane
    Uh, public place.  You can't dictate what people will post.  Why would you want other people to pay for YOUR vacation?  That is beyond tasteless.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    Thank you all so very much for you level of class and support in a bridal forum in which Women are planning for the happiest days of their lives to celebrate love and joy. I am glad I came to the right place.
    Posted by BreeandShane
    I actually thought Summer had a great question which you never answered.  Why would you rather use a website that cuts you a check after taking out their fee and decieves your guests, rather then just not registering at all and making it known that you are saving for your HM?

    Why are HM regsitries so much better in your opinion?  Since most of us think they are tacky, what are your reasons why you think they are good to use?

  • In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites : The happiest day of your life shouldn't involve deceiving your loved ones into thinking they are buying you an experience when all you are actually getting is a check, and then charging them a service fee for the lie. Being a bride doesn't mean you get to treat other people poorly because it is "your special day".
    Posted by Liatris2010
    Well Said!!  Ditto!!!  I really don't understand why people come here, post a question, don't like the answer, and get all juvenile and "Oh you all are class-less" and stomp off.  Hello.....they are trying to help the OP's look less tacky!!! 
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites : and you are allowed to treat me poorly now?
    Posted by BreeandShane
    How in the world is anyone treating you poorly?  By not agreeing with your decision to use a HM registry and telling you that they are rude is treating you poorly?  Really?

  • In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites : How in the world is anyone treating you poorly?  By not agreeing with your decision to use a HM registry and telling you that they are rude is treating you poorly?  Really?
    Posted by Maggie0829
    I didn't ask anyone to agree with me. I simply asked for advice from brides that have used it.
    Clearly this is more hurt than help, so I will go elsewhere.

    Good Day Ladies.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites : I didn't ask anyone to agree with me. I simply asked for advice from brides that have used it. Clearly this is more hurt than help, so I will go elsewhere. Good Day Ladies.
    Posted by BreeandShane
    I think you need to take your blinders off.  We are trying to help you by pointing out that HM registries are tacky.

    And you still haven't answered my previous question.  Since you are so hell bent on having a HM why do you think they are appropriate?  You know our reasons for why we think they are tacky but no one has really ever given an explaination as to why they think they aren't.  And I for one am interested to hear your reasoning.

  • In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites : I didn't ask anyone to agree with me. I simply asked for advice from brides that have used it. Clearly this is more hurt than help, so I will go elsewhere. Good Day Ladies.
    Posted by BreeandShane
    Weddingbee, perhaps?
    image


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  • If nothing else, I've always just been really stuck on the part where they give you the money after the honeymoon has to be booked and (hopefully) paid for.  All rudeness/tackiness aside, that's what I truly don't get about this - I have no idea how you'd budget based on what you think you're going to end up with...  all I can assume is these people are A-OK with starting their marriage with credit card debt.  I really don't think I'm being conservative here - planning a vacation without a budget just seems like asking for trouble to me.
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  • Yikes... I'm stressed out just reading this thread!
  • Yeah...still never got my answer. Probably because she knows she has no good, logical reasons to back up her HM registry. Honestly, I am truly curious about this and can be very open-minded. I would just like ONE person who uses or wants to use a HM registry to explain why they are superior to just spreading by word of mouth that you are saving for a HM. Why? Why do you want to subject your guests to the fees of HM registries? I would honestly love someone to explain their reasoning behind it instead of just running off, calling us names, and refusing to answer a logical and honest question.


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  • I think all the etiquette issues asside, I think the best way to go about this, is making sure you already set aside the $$ you want to spend on the honeymoon, and use the gift $$ that your friends and family give you towards life after the honeymoon. Regardless of whether friends and family contribute, sometimes credit cards are used for trips like a honeymoon, and I don't think it's a bad thing as long as you have a plan to pay it off quicky.
  • In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    I think all the etiquette issues asside, I think the best way to go about this, is making sure you already set aside the $$ you want to spend on the honeymoon, and use the gift $$ that your friends and family give you towards life after the honeymoon. Regardless of whether friends and family contribute, sometimes credit cards are used for trips like a honeymoon, and I don't think it's a bad thing as long as you have a plan to pay it off quicky.
    Posted by Amyzen83
    I see what you're saying but still - revolving credit is a loan.  When you don't pay off that loan at the end of the month they start charging interest.  I feel like borrowing money from a credit card company that has to be paid off over time should be reserved for emergenices or events that are unforeseen - a medical emergency, a family member passing away and you need a flight, etc.  I just can't get behind charging a vacation that you (hopefully) have months to save and plan for.  I think what drives it is the wedding industry convincing brides that they have to take the "vacation of the lifetime" on their honeymoon.  The reality is, for most couples that's a very tight year - most pay for the wedding too and most are younger and haven't reached their full earning potential.  I feel like if you have to charge a vacation you should just wait and take an even better trip for your 1 year when you have the funds to pay for it instead of essentially borrowing money for something that is ultimately frivolous/  That's just me though.
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  • In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites : I see what you're saying but still - revolving credit is a loan.  When you don't pay off that loan at the end of the month they start charging interest.  I feel like borrowing money from a credit card company that has to be paid off over time should be reserved for emergenices or events that are unforeseen - a medical emergency, a family member passing away and you need a flight, etc.  I just can't get behind charging a vacation that you (hopefully) have months to save and plan for.  I think what drives it is the wedding industry convincing brides that they have to take the "vacation of the lifetime" on their honeymoon.  The reality is, for most couples that's a very tight year - most pay for the wedding too and most are younger and haven't reached their full earning potential.  I feel like if you have to charge a vacation you should just wait and take an even better trip for your 1 year when you have the funds to pay for it instead of essentially borrowing money for something that is ultimately frivolous/  That's just me though.
    Posted by hoffse
    This. I just went through this with my brother and FSIL. I was helping them plan their HM and she wanted a HM registry to help pay for the trip, not realizing that she wouldn't get the money until after the trip balance was due to the TA. When I talked her out of the registry, she thought she still needed to have a $10K HM and told me she'd just charge it to her CC and pay it off later. I just about flipped! She has student loans, almost nothing saved up, my brother had his hours cut back at his job, and they are paying for most of the wedding themselves. Not to mention that she still wanted to spend that much after I had already purchased their flights for them!!! Thankfully, I was able to convince her that having this once in a lifetime vacation was not worth any amount of debt in the world and that they should focus on saving up for emergencies and to have a family. I think the wedding industry is certainly to blame and I think that a lot of people have a really poor understanding of credit cards and interest. I use my CCs for almost everything to get points and miles, but I immediately pay it off every month. Even the thought of carrying a balance on my CC makes me nervous and want to vomit.

     







  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    You should never go into debt for a vacation.  Period.


  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:


    wow, this is super helpful since no one else has access to google.
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  • In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    Yeah...still never got my answer. Probably because she knows she has no good, logical reasons to back up her HM registry. Honestly, I am truly curious about this and can be very open-minded. I would just like ONE person who uses or wants to use a HM registry to explain why they are superior to just spreading by word of mouth that you are saving for a HM. Why? Why do you want to subject your guests to the fees of HM registries? I would honestly love someone to explain their reasoning behind it instead of just running off, calling us names, and refusing to answer a logical and honest question.
    Posted by Summer2011Bride

    Main Point: I WOULD NEVER DO A HONEYMOON REGISTRY. However, to try and answer your question, I think people do them because they doubt the gift giver will give them the cash they so desperately want, so they deceive them into thinking they are giving a "gift" of an excursion or something and then the couple gets the cash. That way, in their mind, everyone is happy. The giver thinks they gave a gift of an experience, and the receiver gets cash to spend however they please

    It is rude because they are tricking someone who would normally prefer to give an actual gift  into giving cash. It is taking away the guest's free will, in a way
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  • To clarify,
    You are all making quite a few assumptions.

    My fiance and I have been living together for 2 years. We bought a house, have good jobs, and pleanty of "stuff".  We do not need to register for china or crystal. We love to travel and instead of having our guests put the effort into buying us "stuff" that we don't want or need. We would instead like to give them the opportunity to contribute a gift to our honeymoon which we are very excited about. We have the money to pay for the honeymoon and will not using credit cards to purchase anything. Our budget is already deteremined based on what we can afford - not what we expect to receive.
    We are not deceiving our guests because the money they provide we will be treating like gifts to do the things they are excited for us to do - i.e. snorkling, cave tubing, etc.
    We plan to take pictures and send them to our guests with our thank you notes to show them what a great time we had and how much we appreciated their gifts. I personally feel rude simply asking for cash - and I do not want to spend their generous gift paying off student loans or buying groceries. I want to provide them the experience of picking out a personal activity rather than just signing a check. We will not be asking our guests to pay the service fee. Most websites allow you to take it out of the gift. But even if they were to pay the fee, I think of it as the money they would have spent on wrapping paper or a gift bag.
    Also we are having a wedding in which most guests will be traveling and we want to give them the option of not having to haul a gift with them. 
    I hope this helps share our specific situation in which our friends and family who know us and love us will not be judgemental or think we are rude or tacky.  Please in the future find room in your hearts for empathy and dont be so quick to judge.
  • In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    To clarify, You are all making quite a few assumptions. My fiance and I have been living together for 2 years. We bought a house, have good jobs, and pleanty of "stuff".  We do not need to register for china or crystal. We love to travel and instead of having our guests put the effort into buying us "stuff" that we don't want or need. We would instead like to give them the opportunity to contribute a gift to our honeymoon which we are very excited about. We have the money to pay for the honeymoon and will not using credit cards to purchase anything. Our budget is already deteremined based on what we can afford - not what we expect to receive. We are not deceiving our guests because the money they provide we will be treating like gifts to do the things they are excited for us to do - i.e. snorkling, cave tubing, etc. We plan to take pictures and send them to our guests with our thank you notes to show them what a great time we had and how much we appreciated their gifts. I personally feel rude simply asking for cash - and I do not want to spend their generous gift paying off student loans or buying groceries. I want to provide them the experience of picking out a personal activity rather than just signing a check. We will not be asking our guests to pay the service fee. Most websites allow you to take it out of the gift. But even if they were to pay the fee, I think of it as the money they would have spent on wrapping paper or a gift bag. Also we are having a wedding in which most guests will be traveling and we want to give them the option of not having to haul a gift with them.  I hope this helps share our specific situation in which our friends and family who know us and love us will not be judgemental or think we are rude or tacky.  Please in the future find room in your hearts for empathy and dont be so quick to judge.
    Posted by BreeandShane
    I always have to comment on this because it doesn't make sense to me. I have lived with my DH for almost 7 years. He has owned a home since 1989; I have owned one since 2004. Technically, we have a house full of stuff, but when we started looking at registering, we found a million things to put on it, whether it's an upgrade to something we owned or something new we had never bought before. Point: There is always something you can do a traditional registry for regardless of how long you have owned a home or have lived together. In fact, most couples live together before the wedding nowadays anyway! Also, if most guests are traveling, they are probably  smart enough to not haul a present with them and will provide cash. If they haul one with them, then they clearly would have never given you money in the first place. Some people will just not give money no matter what. It just seems to me that you will find anyway possible to justify not having to pay for your HM by having people give you money, whether it be in cash form or in the form of a check from a HM registry.

     







  • "I want to provide them the experience of picking out a personal activity rather than just signing a check."

    wow aren't you a thoughtful bride!!! you want to provide your guest with an experience. isn't that sweet?!

     

  • edited February 2013
    Ugh. I hate this post. And I know I am going to get roasted for putting my nose in it.

    A lot of people look at honeymoon registries as rude. Honestly only you will know how your family and friends will take it. We had a really small wedding, only about 80 people. All close friends and family. They absolutely loved the idea. We had one and we probably got about 6-7 gifts on there. And many who had looked through the honeymoon registry and then just wrote on the check or card what they would love to contribute to.

    We did use Honeyfund which does not charge a fee, unless you use Paypal.

    We completely paid for our wedding and honeymoon with our own money. We did have a small traditional registry as well. When someone gave us a specific gift we made sure we used the money on that item. So it wasn't like we were saying "Hahaha! We have your cash and I will spend it on a spa trip instead of a tour of Versailles!!!" We really had a great time and when we went on the items we were sure to take a picture and we sent thank you notes with the pictures when we were all done. I had several family members call me and thank me for the pictures and the sweet note.

    My theory on this topic instead of blasting people for it, tell people why and how they could be rude. No one ever really answers the questions instead they just blast the person and tells them they are sorry excuse for humans by doing something so ridiculous.

    My rules for honeymoon registry:
    A Registry that does not charge a fee is a MUST! (honeyfund, etc)
    Make sure your friends and family are supportive of the Idea
    Be sure you can afford the honeymoon without help and assume you will get no gifts
    Have a Small Traditional Registry as well.

    Hopefully that helps a little bit. :-) And have a great day!

    image
    06.09.2012

    jyang721
  • I really don't understand the outrage at HM registries - if i were a guest at OP's wedding, I'd rather buy her a cave-diving trip (even if it's in a round-about way) than send a check, which is like the least romantic gift possible. We're in a similar position - good jobs, well-stocked apartment (i'm in my 30s so by now I have china, crystal, etc). we really don't need too much more stuff, and I wish there was a way for people to buy us massages/dinners out/a cleaning service. that's what we really need!!

    Enjoy your honeymoon!!!
  • Abbey, I'm glad it worked out for you, but you didn't really prove any point.

    It's great that you were "honest" (not sure if that's the right word...) and actually spent the money on what the guest "purchased".

    That being said...they would've had no way of knowing that you did or didn't...so it's a moot point.

    Thankfully Honeyfund didn't charge your guests a fee, but at the end of the day, it's really not polite to ask for people to fund your vacation.

  • In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Websites:
    I really don't understand the outrage at HM registries - if i were a guest at OP's wedding, I'd rather buy her a cave-diving trip (even if it's in a round-about way) than send a check, which is like the least romantic gift possible. We're in a similar position - good jobs, well-stocked apartment (i'm in my 30s so by now I have china, crystal, etc). we really don't need too much more stuff, and I wish there was a way for people to buy us massages/dinners out/a cleaning service. that's what we really need!! Enjoy your honeymoon!!!
    Posted by TheBaysideBride
    There is. It's called you and your FI use the cash gifts you receive towards things you want/need.
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