Moms and Maids

Oh God no...

Last night my mom and I were talking, and apparently she had put a lot of thought into a game that guests can play during the cocktail hour.  She wants to do some kind of B&G trivia game and whoever wins gets a prize.  I told her that sounds fun for maybe a shower or something, but It's not really appropriate for the actual wedding.  Naturally, she disagreed and is insisting on doing this.  She is paying for most of the wedding, so I'm not sure how much say I really have in this.  What's even worse, is that she has started thinking up some really embarrassing questions (i.e. Is the bride pregnant?).    I really hope she doesn't do this, but do I have a say in this?

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Re: Oh God no...

  • I think you should have a say in this, but I could be biased because I hate this idea lol. You could try including her in other stuff, like picture taking, during the cocktail hour so she'll be distracted.
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  • Lol I hate it too!  I'm hoping to distract her from it as much as possible.

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  • Even if she is paying, I do think you get a say in this. I definitely wouldn't want people going around answering questions like "Is the bride pregnant?" Tell her that you know your guests will have a perfectly good time without a trivia game. If she is helping plan a shower or anything, perhaps she can carry out this game then and would be happy with that compromise.


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  • RaptorSLHRaptorSLH member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited January 2012
    My mom organizes games like this at the annual family Thanksgiving dinner, and embarrassed or not, we all end up having fun, but even she wouldn't do this stuff at a wedding.

    If you can't talk sense into your mom,  warn the DJ in advance, and maybe enlist the wedding party to help.  Even if she announces such a game, she won't get many players if wacky Uncle Joe or goofball brother Danny starts dragging people into a noisy conga line.

    Of course, that presumes you find conga lines less embarassing...

    If all else fails, plan some outdoor evening lights (sparklers, white christmas lights  in an archway or under trees, visible sunset/stars.)   When she starts, disappear with your groom and photographer for some night shots.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_oh-god?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:e759ceda-b0da-4f49-9238-021d950280b3Post:490e19f2-133c-4a3c-a719-3a1f3e1fc1a2">Re: Oh God no...</a>:
    [QUOTE] Of course, that presumes you find conga lines less embarassing... Posted by RaptorSLH[/QUOTE]

    I would actually prefer the conga line as opposed to a game where guests are left wondering if they are attending a shot gun wedding.  She finally accepted that I'm not going to ask my FMIL for wedding contributions, so I think this should be pretty easy to talk her out of. 

    Thanks everyone!  I wasn't sure if this was one of those situations where whoever is paying gets the final word.
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  • edited January 2012
    Even if your mom is paying for the wedding, she doesn't have a right to force you into anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.

    I have to say this. The pregnancy question really bothers me. Tell mom that if and when you do get pregnant, it is your right to announce it your way.

                       
  • [QUOTE]Thanks everyone!  I wasn't sure if this was one of those situations where whoever is paying gets the final word.
    Posted by B&K10+13+12[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Neither money nor blood buys someone the right to publicly humiliate you.

    </div>
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_oh-god?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:e759ceda-b0da-4f49-9238-021d950280b3Post:837e89a9-b232-4421-99cb-0164424c6196">Re: Oh God no...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Neither money nor blood buys someone the right to publicly humiliate you.
    Posted by RaptorSLH[/QUOTE]

    Amen! 


    The preggo question was just an example of what she would ask, but I don't doubt that she would ask it if I allow her to play this game.  

    They say that weddings bring out the crazy in people.....
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  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited January 2012
    We're having cocktail lawn games, but certainly nothing like that!  I think there's a big difference between a fun diversion guests can participate in if they choose (like croquet) and turning the wedding into an embarrassing game show.

    Perhaps suggest something as an alternative, like a crossword puzzle with B&G related answers?  And then you can design the crossword with things like, "Where did B&G meet?" or "The street where B&G's house is on", etc.  Rather innocent things, and since it's in writing people can choose to participate or not!  Perhaps that would make her happy?

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    Anniversary

  • If your mom insists, try to coordinate with your venue to remove your mom's game before it can get started.  Like if she would make little cards with the questions on it, instruct the waiting staff to remove the cards from the cocktail hour and throw them out!  And warn the DJ to keep your mom from the mic!

    If you can't convince her yourself to know have this game at the wedding, try to enlist the help of an aunt or grandmother.
  • If she's absolutely insistent on activities, maybe you could steer her towards wedding-themed crosswords or word searches placed on the tables.
  • She seems to think that people will be bored or something during the cocktail hour.   I have never been to a wedding where the cocktail hour was that boring.  I usually keep myself occupied by eating and having a drink or two...or three.... 
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  • emilyb213emilyb213 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Answer
    edited February 2012
    I did go to a wedding recently where the bride and groom created a Mad Libs game for the guests to play around with while we were waiting for the wedding party to return from pictures. They had obviously put a lot of thought into it, and honestly, it was fun playing with everyone at our table. That being said, there's a big difference between Mad Libs and guessing if the bride is pregnant...maybe you could, as vicki said, steer her towards something along the lines of Mad Libs or a word search, something with less potential for embarrassment.

    Edit: They also did not give out prizes or anything like that, it was just a fun little thing to do between trips to the bar.
  • How do you play Mad Libs?  It sounds like it could be fun.

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