Moms and Maids

Horrible MAIDS...might be long

Re: Horrible MAIDS...might be long

  • I can understand why your BMs are not making this a priority. You have a whole year and a half to go! The key to understanding the is timing. There shouldn't be this much of a rush for them to pay for a dress now that will sit in their closets unused for 18 months. To you your wedding is super exciting and getting closer and closer and closer. To them it is something far off that they are not ready to start adjusting their schedules for. There is a saying here that nobody will ever care about your wedding as much as you do. It is blunt, but it is true.

    My advice would be to ease up on them. Let them know when the last day is to order the dress before a rush fee is added and let them purchase it when they are ready. You don't have to be there when they order or get fitted, and just because you are getting married doesn't mean that they all need to go to special lunches with you because they are BMs. I would spend time with the friends who are available when they are available and ease off on WR stuff till the time gets closer.
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  • Because it's way too  early to be shopping for bm dresses. A lot can happen between now and August 2013. Your bms can gain or loose weight. Styles and taste and financial situations can change. The longer they have the dresses hanging in their closets, the better chances there are of something happening to them. The same is true of your wedding dress. Buy it now and you run the risk of seeing something you like better.

    I know this is an exciting time for you, but if you start talking wedding all the time to your friends, they are going to tire of the subject very quickly. You shouldn't expect them to arrange their work schedules or give up extra hours and pay.

    Have you already reserved a wedding venue?

                       
  • Ok, I agree that it's rude to make plans with someone (to do ANYTHING, not just BM dress shopping) and then back out for no good reason, just because you liked the idea of hanging out with someone else better.  But most people who act like this over BM stuff are also like this normally; is it out of character for your friends to flake out on plans?

    If it is out of character, then they probably don't want to go shopping for a dress they can't wear for another 18 months.  Which is reasonable (though obvs it would be nicer of them to just tell you that instead of backing out on plans).  Same with the lunch thing- I would be kind of weirded out if a friend wanted me to start doing wedding party stuff 18 months before the wedding.

    If your friends are typically flaky, though, it's just your friends being themselves, and there's not much you can do.
  • Agree with the others.  It is way too early and you are already in wedding overdrive with them.

    I would have to refuse to buy a dress so far out.  I might gain or lose weight, if I were much younger I might end up pregnant or have just had a baby.  There is absolutely no reason to be looking at dresses so far out and asking them to tie up that money a year and half early.

    Ease up and quit talking wedding.  Wait til next season's dresses are out and I'm sure you will find something you will love.

    No one is making an effort to get together, they cancelled on BM dress shopping, and one of them had to work.  Stop and think about this.  There is a reason for this - your expectations are kind of out there on this.  Back away and let it go.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_horrible-maidsmight-be-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:889fee75-598f-4def-b848-60333fb5a5fePost:c0e780b0-58c9-4e6c-b448-b6c6a531208c">Horrible MAIDS...might be long</a>:
    [QUOTE] I dont want to cancel my appt. so I added a "date" to walk my son down the aisle, just so I would have someone to come with me to appts.  Someone who actually can make the time for me.
    Posted by ckovacs05[/QUOTE]

    I don't understand what your son walking down the aisle has to do with your dress appointment.
  • jerzmom114jerzmom114 member
    First Comment
    edited February 2012
    So from what I got out of the whole explanation was that you added a "date" (not a bridesmaid? ) to your wedding party to escort your son, for the sole purpose of dragging them to appointments because maybe your other BP members have lives of thier own and are not thinking of shopping for an event that is 1 1/2 years away?
    Sorry if I seem rude but I would be severely upset if someone added me to their BP JUST because I came to appointments. Your bridesmaids have absolutely no obligations BESIDES coming to the wedding in the designated dress. yeah, it sucks that they bailed on you, but your wedding will NEVER be as important to anyone but you and your FI.
    And while I understand that the dresses you want are this season and could possibly be out of stock if you wait, PP's are very right...people have babies, gain weight , and new styles come out all the time. It is IMO too early to order anything yet.
  • Im not going to respond to anyone other than saying this GETTING THE DRESSES EARLY WAS THEIR IDEA. Do none of you read? 
  • Deleting your post is immature and ridiculous.  If everyone here had the same interpretation of your post maybe you didn't convey that very well.  Guess we'll never know since you deleted.
  • The point of my post was the fact that THEY had that idea.  Not me.  They saw a dress and fell in love with it.  I made it perfectly clear in the post that it was their idea NOT mine.  The point of the story is not that it is too early to be looking at dresses; the point of the story is that they planned on doing something and backed out.  I understand if they realized it was too early to be looking at dresses, however; they should have said something rather than just blowing me off.  They backed out of a lunch date that isnt even planned yet.  So my rant was not about choosing a dress so soon.  My rant was that they found a dress that they wanted, they told me to make an appt. and THEY backed out.

    I can write, and I am pretty sure I did a decent job at explaining myself.  So I am sorry that you all interpreted my post the wrong way.

    For the record I did not delete the post.  I barely know how to reply to posts let alone delete mine.  Thank you.
  • Since it was their idea they are allowed to back out of it...it is their choice and it is their lives.  They might have realized that they were jumping the gun so they decided to stop the process before they had to shell out money for a dress so far in advance.

    I think you need to breathe and relax.  It isn't like they all decided to back out of your wedding...they simply decided to back out of dress shopping.  Not that big of a deal especially when there is so much time to plan another trip.

    And for the record, people are allowed to change their minds...free will and all.

    Also, if you didn't delete your OP then I don't know who did, because you have control over your own posts and TK will only delete your posts if they are offensive or against their rules and regulations which your post was not.  So I suggest you check to see if your pants are on fire.


  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_horrible-maidsmight-be-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:889fee75-598f-4def-b848-60333fb5a5fePost:fe6fb212-bef2-4d50-93ea-096d0e6538bc">Re: Horrible MAIDS...might be long</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, if you didn't delete your OP then I don't know who did, because you have control over your own posts and TK will only delete your posts if they are offensive or against their rules and regulations which your post was not.  <strong>So I suggest you check to see if your pants are on fire.</strong>
    Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

    This is awesome. And I agree.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_horrible-maidsmight-be-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:889fee75-598f-4def-b848-60333fb5a5fePost:96353f58-ba16-4857-b101-2541e4ddcec1">Re: Horrible MAIDS...might be long</a>:
    [QUOTE]Im not going to respond to anyone other than saying this GETTING THE DRESSES EARLY WAS THEIR IDEA. Do none of you read? 
    Posted by ckovacs05[/QUOTE]

    You have a really foul attitude and should get that checked out.

    YOU are in fact the only that can delete your posts.  I'm a Mod for another board, so I am pretty sure I know how this works ;)

     

  • Haven't you realized by now that you're on a public internet forum and people can give opinions on whatever they want? There's no need to talk to everyone so rudely like that, you asked and they answered.

    I however, have nothing else to say though because your OP is gone. Childish.
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  • You are all so relentless.  I did not create this profile, my friend did so perhaps she was the one who deleted it?

    I dont know how my "pants being on fire" has anything to do with the price of tea in china.

    And yes, people do have a right to their own opinion as I had the right to vent on here about my friends backing out on "dates" they created and backing out on a lunch that isnt even set yet, but they cannot make.

    My apologies for asking for advice.  You all came at me with the "higher than god" mentality telling my I was ridiculous for looking at dresses so soon when in fact it was their idea.  It is not my fault that you all did not read it correctly.  You can continue to post on this thread if you so wish.  I do not plan on replying.  So enjoy talking amongst yourselves.  PS. most of you seem to have been married for a while, or just in a long engagement.  So my queston is:  For those of you who have been married for a year or more:  Why is it that you are still on the knot and not on the nest or the bump?  Dont you have bitching to do on one of those other sites?  And for the women who have been members since 2009 and are still not married:  Why have you been a member of "THE KNOT" since 2009 and are still engaged...you must have been excited when he proposed? No?

    like i said, feel free to ramble on amongst yourselves because unlike you all, I have better things to do than give shitty ass advice to people I dont even know...
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_horrible-maidsmight-be-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:889fee75-598f-4def-b848-60333fb5a5fePost:60d2a35e-bac2-49fe-91a4-7a8f983aef3d">Re: Horrible MAIDS...might be long</a>:
    [QUOTE]You are all so relentless.  I did not create this profile, my friend did so perhaps she was the one who deleted it? I dont know how my "pants being on fire" has anything to do with the price of tea in china. And yes, people do have a right to their own opinion as I had the right to vent on here about my friends backing out on "dates" they created and backing out on a lunch that isnt even set yet, but they cannot make. My apologies for asking for advice.  You all came at me with the "higher than god" mentality telling my I was ridiculous for looking at dresses so soon when in fact it was their idea.  It is not my fault that you all did not read it correctly.  You can continue to post on this thread if you so wish.  I do not plan on replying.  So enjoy talking amongst yourselves.  PS. most of you seem to have been married for a while, or just in a long engagement.  So my queston is:  For those of you who have been married for a year or more:  Why is it that you are still on the knot and not on the nest or the bump?  Dont you have bitching to do on one of those other sites?  And for the women who have been members since 2009 and are still not married:  <strong>Why have you been a member of "THE KNOT" since 2009 and are still engaged.</strong>..you must have been excited when he proposed? No? like i said, feel free to ramble on amongst yourselves because unlike you all, I have better things to do than give shitty ass advice to people I dont even know...
    Posted by ckovacs05[/QUOTE]

    So you have never heard the saying "Liar, liar, pants on fire" before?

    You are comletely overreacting about your friends backing out of a dress shopping date.  Honestly, this is not the end of the world.  It has not ruined your wedding and it certainly didn't ruin your friendships, but it seems like you are wanting it to.

    As for those who have been members since 2009 and are still engaged...have you never heard of a long engagement?

    You are being very judgemental to the posters who actually gave you good, perhaps blunt, advice.  The one's that are married are the one's who have been through all of this and realized that after all was said and done the things that we think are earth shattering and life ending really aren't anything to get your panties in a twist over.

    So my suggestion to you is to relax.  If you want to have any friends after your wedding is over with you need to learn to go with the flow.  Remember, this is only one day out of your entire life...yes it is important and a lot of work to plan, but it should be fun not something you stress about every minute of the day because things are going the exact way that you want them too...if you expect things to be perfect you are going to be very dissappointed when your day arrives.

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